Help me not go mad by finding a book I read as a child

[Joose]

Halp.

I'm not sure what it was, but something this morning reminded me of a really odd book I read as a kid, and now its driving me mad because I cant remember what it was called. Its a long shot, but possibly one of you lot will recognise it.

I *think* it was called something along the lines of "The adventures of < weird kids name here>" only I cant remember the kids name. It was odd though, like Tikkitrikkiti or something. I seem to remember there being an ongoing joke of people commenting on how odd his name was.

I can only remember snatches of the storyline. I know it started with these two kids jumping over a wall to steal some apples from a tree. I think it turned out that the garden belonged to a man who was entirely made of gold, and he thought they wanted to steal his gold shit, so he tried to turn them into gold. They got away, but one of them had a gold neck and the other a gold wrist, so they went on some big adventure to find the cure for that (which I think was the blood of something, possibly a dragon). There was all sorts of weird shit happened to them in the meantime, including at one point being stuck in a mountain range that acted like a really slow sea; if you went to sleep in a valley you would wake up at the top of a mountain, and vice versa. I think they were slaves for someone for a while. If I remember right the main character started off as a bit of a know it all dick, and ended up as a much better person, presumably with the moral of the story being "don't be a dick or a magician will try to gold all over you".

[Dog Pants]

I hope it was a book, because if it isn't you have a fucking weird imagination.

[spoodie]

50 Shades of Gold?

[HereComesPete]

Is it one of the follow on books from the magic faraway tree?

[Joose]

Is it one of the follow on books from the magic faraway tree?

I dont think so (although the magic faraway tree was brilliant also)

[Roman Totale]

I think it turned out that the garden belonged to a man who was entirely made of gold, and he thought they wanted to steal his gold shit, so he tried to turn them into gold.

My Dad's Touch

A harrowing children's parable about when a grown up touches you but tells you it's a good thing.