Skyrim Dating - Pimp your character

[Grimmie]

I am a level 18 Nord barbarian with a huge warhammer.
I wear heavy armour and I'm a pretty good blacksmith.
I have a few perks in restoration because I tend to wade in to battles a lot.

I decapitate people, and it makes me laugh every time.

MOD EDIT: Split from main Skyrim thread, because it's fun.

[Mr. Johnson]

I am a level 18 Nord barbarian with a huge warhammer.
I wear heavy armour and I'm a pretty good blacksmith.
I have a few perks in restoration because I tend to wade in to battles a lot.

I decapitate people, and it makes me laugh every time.

I'm pretty much the same, except at a higher level and I suck at blacksmithing (irony much?).

[mrbobbins]

Hello, I'm a level 20 female Dark Elf Mage/Thief
I'm awesome at destruction and sneaking
I'm alright at archery and alchemy
I enjoy crafting every kind of thing but haven’t got that great at it. I will rob you of your metal, use your tools to make stuff and then sell them to you.
I'm nearly done with the Mages Guild, and just started the Thief's Guild
My main aim in life is to have a lesbian wedding

I killed my companion Feandal, it was by accident on the way to gaining thief’s guild membership, I decided to leave him dead. I think he was a spy and would have dobbed me in once I got into the guild, he kept giving me funny looks whenever I robbed someone so wasn't to be trusted.

On the surface I appear to be a kind, polite and upstanding citizen who helps all in need, when you turn around I will rob you blind and stab you in the neck, just because. After a time I realised that randomly killing innocent people would not automaticaly grant me an introduction to the Dark Brotherhood, I carried on anyway.

I havn't found anything on the PS3 to tell me how many hours I've played already, I'm scared to find out.

[Killavodka]

Hi, I am a lvl 44 Warrior with the choice of two one-hand weapons or one-hand weapon plus shield and heavy armour.
Generally run around with the dual-wield until I encounter a boss where I switch to the shield with its defensive abilities.
Full smithing and one-handed weapons, block and heavy armour lagging behind a bit (might have to start letting stuff hit me for a while before I chop off their heads)


The secret to smithing is IRON DAGGERS.

[Dog Pants]

Hi, I'm a level 19 Nord mage. I like pina coladas, raising zombies and electrocuting people. I've never had a companion because I'm an antisocial bastard with an iron mask and an old man's stinky fur robes, apart from my psychotic horse, Allie. One day I'd like to be good at making jewellery and enchanting it, but at the moment I can't be arsed humping all the metal to a forge from my home in the College of Mages. Which, incidentally, I stole. This is part of my path to world domination with an army of undead*, which coincides with making a pact with a demon. One day I'd like to kill J'Zargo, the lazy furry bastard, and once I managed to knock several students at the college off the bridge with my horse. Unfortunately at least one survived.


*May only extend to 2 zombies.

[Roman Totale]

Greetings mortals, I am a level 31 thief-wizard-warrior Breton (seriously, in my Elder Scrolls universe the Bretons should be worshipped as gods the number of times they've saved the day)
I am mostly skilled in Archery, One-handed, Sneaking, Lock-picking, Heavy Armour, Destruction, Restoration and Illusion. I can kill most things with a single arrow and they never even know I'm there. Or I'll burn the fuck out of them. Or I'll hit them with a custom enchanted Ebony sword (shouting Storm Call them engaging in melee combat with several enemies is fucking awesome).

I steal most things that aren't nailed down and will make several trips to a cleared dungeon just to make sure I come back with every single piece of loot. As a result I have a lot of money and a chest full of weapons, armour and jewellery that I'm storing for a rainy day (or for I actually get around to making some necklaces and rings that I can enchant).

I too am anti-social in that I don't take any companions with me, though that's mostly because I don't want them cutting in on my murder time.

Despite having a huge number of spells in previous games, and using magic a lot in this, I still haven't got around to visiting the Mages guild yet. I really should because a spell for increasing carry load would really come in handy for a lot of dungeons.


I love this game so much. I want to do sinful things to the scenery.

[FatherJack]

Hi, I'm Kitty, a 17yo Khajiit prostitute most of whose documented exploits have been censored by the temple, but some original copies can still be found in Hammerfell.

My special services weren't so valued in Morrowind, Cyrodiil or Skyrim, so I have branched out into thieving and murdering. I am skilled at sneaking and lockpicking and face-scratching, silent but deadly with a bow, but a klutz with magic - I set myself on fire the first time I tried to cast a spell.

I have houses and rooms all over the continents stuffed full of booty worth more money than is posessed by all the merchants in the realm. Anything of value that is not nailed down will end up in my possesion and anything not of value that's not nailed down will likely get booted onto the floor, because it can be.

I sneaked my way into the thieves guild, murdered my way into the dark brotherhood, blagged my way in the college of mages, lied my way into the bard's college, punched my way into the stormcloaks and became the most unlikely member of the circle in its history. Villagers sometimes comment that I smell like wet dog. Villagers then take a lie down for a bit.

My best friends are Babette and Gabriella from the dark brotherhood*. I briefly fell in love with J'zargo owning to his magnificent kitty-moustache, but quickly realised he was a bit of a cock and blasted him out of a window - to his credit he must have seen the funny side, because he didn't mention it again. I now plan to marry a woman instead, perhaps an orc.

I'm getting a bit sick of dragons turning up almost every time I fast travel to some towns - it happened three times in a row in Markarth - after each time I had to travel back to dump the heavy dragon bones and scales in my big chest o' crap. I only went there to find some priest dude to try to purify a basement so that I might get yet another house.

I don't kill kitties (Khajiit) or lizzies (Argonians) unless I have to, or if there's like a contract out on them or they catch me stealing or otherwise get in the way. Then by way of apology I bow my head and say a little prayer for them before stealing all their light belongings and stripping them naked. I used to avoid vampires, but after a quest where they kept getting in the way when I was trying to follow my temporary pet doggie and I just punched them all impatiently out I now take every opportunity to give them a good kicking. And steal their clothes. And then make a fine pair of boots or a rug out of their hides - finally some justice for the hated-on races of Tamriel!

I have at least five followers, but I can't remember where I left three of them - one was a bard, so he would have been useless anyway - one was some random bloke I beat up in the street, so again: rubbish - another was a priest who I helped to destroy a powerful daedric artifact in an old library. I hadn't actually intended to help him, but instead kill him and take the artifact for myself, but I slipped off the dais at the critical moment and the chance was lost. The others are "housecarls" which means "just sit in my house all the time stuffing your face with my food". Never should have got those kitchen upgrades.


*because having friends in the dark brotherhood always ends well

[Mr. Johnson]

If we're going to do proper introductions:

Werd! I'm Freja*, a level 30 Nord barbarian type with a love of smashing people in the face with my Ysgramor shield. I like smashing things into people and monsters so much my stormcloak buddies call me 'Bone-Breaker'.

I started off on the honourable path, and did righteous things like joining the companions and even became their leader. I married one of them for a while (I'm a raving lesbian) but realized I enjoyed my bachelor life too much so called it off. I had a bit of a crush on esbern, one of my blades mentors, but man that dude is ooold! Eventually I got off the righteous path because of my horrible murder addiction and first joined the thieves guild and later on the dark brotherhood, and like the companions I worked my way up the ranks to become their leader. They've also got this hideous corpse that keeps trying to sweet talk me into sleeping with it and I'm honestly too scared to say no. I'm terrible at magic but have been known to use healing spells every now and then to repair my smashed up limbs. My first housecarl Lydia Sadly passed on, but my carl from Riften, Iona and I get along really well and have shared many adventures together. I had one of the companions as a partner for a while but she was utter shit so I told her off. I was good buddies with the Jarl of Whiterun but he doesn't like me anymore after I trashed his city with my white supremacist stormcloak buddies. I don't support all of their views but they've got sweet outfits so I joined them. I've got some property in Whiterun and Riften, and am looking into buying something in Windhelm, but unknown powers are withholding me. I'm an animal in the bedchamber (literally, I'm a werewolf) and vampires are a major turn-off for me, whenever I come across one I smash it's face in, steal it's clothes and throw it on the nearest fire. I enjoy decorating my house with various trophies such as witch heads, troll skulls and statues I totally stole. I'm not a very good thief and usually leave people's belongings where they are, but if you've got a tastefully set table you can rest assured I'm going to kick that shit all over the place and dance on your table whilst you eat. BECAUSE I CAN.

Here's a cool picture of me wearing Ulfric's stupid dragon hat, I got it for him from some dangerous crypt but that shit doesn't even wear it. What a wanker. That's my previous accomplice there in the background, wearing my armour. Man, am I glad I sacked her.



*That is literally the most original thing I could come up with at the time.

[FatherJack]

I got married today, to a girl called Miuri, who had me murder her ex-lover. Pfft, silly - I'm sure she won't try to have me murdered or anything.

It was so romantic! We both giggled when the priest welcomed the "blushing bride" and Miuri was so keen to consummate our marriage, she ran straight out of the church as soon as she'd said her vows! Unfortunately I haven't actually been able to find her since, but I'm sure she's just out shopping for sexy underwear or something.

Sadly my best friends from the brotherhood couldn't make it as they were busy killing, but my housecarl and that idiot bard turned up, as well as some scary vampire woman. Aela the DogFace didn't turn up either, but that was probably for the best as she isn't very well house-trained. J'Zargo said he was convalescing after accidentally slipping 20 feet up in the air and breaking every bone in his body while exploring some ancient ruins during one of our mage classes. The Jarls and the Archmages invitations must have gotten lost in the post. Oh, I remember now - I stole all the post!

There'll be a video up soon, Bothela the Hag captured the ceremony on one of those fancy Dwemic Soul-Capturing devices and will soon be "uploading" it to UrielTube.



[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9BYCjjc9qKc[/media]

[friznit]

Rather imaginatively called Friznit, I am an up and coming Battle Magi from the Imperial line. I have no ill conceived ideas of destiny such as the common rabble willfuly believe in, despite what that grumpy old codger on the mountain had to say. I find myself tending towards board & blade with heavy armour and a little bit of restoration for the cheap heals, since this is the most ancient and honourable form of combat. Mind you, my man does most of the fighting while I sit back with a G&T and groom Womble. I'm not sure whether that's going to work as I get even more awesome though, so I've started learning how to make potions. It's frankly appalling that I have to dirty my hands with actual work, but the shops around here are terrible.

[FatherJack]

OMG I was sooo drunk last night! Me and my dark brothers and sisters were celebrating our latest series of killings and we had some guests over and a barbecue. I think I had a little too much mead, as the last thing I remember is trying to light the barbecue with my fire spell. The next thing I know, I was waking up in bed with the dark mother - gross! Also we are now looking for a new sanctuary.

Earlier this week I visited the magical kingdom of Blackreach after hearing the rumours that there you can find the Snow Prince surrounded by his Snow Elves, who can grant you any wish. I never did find the Snow Prince but I certainly ran into a lot of Snow Elves and I have to say they're nothing like in the picture books, but all nasty and bitey. Even though I never managed to find the Prince, my wish was still granted, as there were plenty of gold robots to smash up and I found lots of shiny things inside them!