Happy surfing to all

[Plug Full of Lead]

A Merry Christmas to all 5punkers

An Internet Christmas

T'was the Internet Night Before Christmas

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the Net,
There were hacker's a surfing. Nerds? Yeah, you bet.
The e-mails were stacked by the modem with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.


The newbies were nestled all snug by their screens,
While visions of Java danced in their dreams.
My wife on the sofa and me with a snack,
We just settled down at my rig (it's a Mac).

When out in the Web there arose such a clatter,
I jumped to the site to see what was the matter.
To a new page my Mac flew like a flash,
Then made a slight gurgle. It started to crash!!

I gasped at the thought and started to grouse,
Then turned my head sideways and clicked on my mouse.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
My Mac jumped to a page that wasn't quite clear.

When the image resolved, so bright and so quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick!
More rapid than mainframes, more graphics they came,
Then Nick glanced toward my screen, my Mac called them by name;

"Now Compaq! Now Acer!", my speaker did reel;
"On Apple! On Gateway!" Santa started to squeal!
"Jump onto the circuits! And into the chip!
Now speed it up! Speed it up! Make this thing hip!"

The screen gave a flicker, he was into my "Ram",
Then into my room rose a full hologram!
He was dressed in all red, from his head to his shoes,
Which were black (the white socks he really should lose).

He pulled out some discs he had stored in his backpack.
Santa looked like a dude who was rarin' to hack!
His eyes, how they twinkled! His glasses, how techno!
This ain't the same Santa that I used to know!

With a wink of his eye and a nod of his head,
Santa soon let me know I had nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word, gave my Mac a quick poke,
And accessed my C drive with only a stroke.

He defragged my hard drive, and added a "Dimm",
Then threw in some cool games, just on a whim!
He worked without noise, his fingers they flew!
He distorted some pictures with Kai's Power Goo!

He updated Office, Excel and Quicken,
Then added a screensaver with a red clucking chicken!
My eyes widened a bit, my mouth stood agape,
As he added the latest version of Netscape.

The drive gave a whirl, as if it were pleased,
St. Nick coyly smiled, the computer appeased.
Then placing his finger on the bridge of his nose,
Santa turned into nothing but ones and zeros!

He flew back into my screen and through my uplink,
Back into the net with barely a blink.
But I heard his sweet voice as he flew from my sight,
"Happy surfing to all, and to all a good byte!"

[Stoat]

Kai's Power Goo? Is this actually older than the Internet?

[Dr. kitteny berk]

Power Goo FTW

[Anhamgrimmar]

Not bad, But not as cheesy as the e-mail i've recieved from 8 different people!

'Twas the night before Christmas, he lived all alone,
in a one bedroom house made of plaster and stone.


I had come down the chimney with presents to give,
and to see just who in this little house lived.


As I looked all about, a strange sight I did see,
No tinsel, no presents, not even a tree.


No Stockings by mantle, just boots filled with sand,
On the wall hung pictures of far distant lands.


With medals and badges, awards of all kinds,
A sobering thought came through my mind.


For this house was different, it was dark and dreary,
The home of a soldier, I could now see clearly.


The soldier lay sleeping, silent, alone,
Curled up on the floor in this one bedroom home.


The face was so gentle, the room in such disorder,
Not how I picture a United States Soldier.


Was this the hero of whom I'd just read?
Curled up on a poncho, the floor for a bed?


I realized the families that I saw this night,
owed their lives to these soldiers who were willing to fight.


Soon round the world, the children would play,
and grownups would celebrate a bright Christmas day.


They all enjoyed freedom each month of the year,
because of the soldiers, like the one lying here.


I couldn't help wondering how many lay alone,
on a cold Christmas Eve in a land far from home.


The very thought brought a tear to my eye,
I dropped to one knee and started to cry.


The soldier awakened and I heard a rough voice,
"Santa don't cry, for this life is my choice".


I fight for freedom, I don't ask for more,
My life is my God, my country, my corps."


The soldier rolled over and drifted to sleep,
I couldn't control it, I continued to weep.


I kept watch for hours, so silent and still,
as we both shivered from the cold night's chill.


I didn't want to leave, on that cold, dark night,
this guardian of honor, so willing to fight.


Then the soldier rolled over, with a voice soft and pure,
whispered, "Carry on Santa...., It's Christmas Day...., All is secure.


One look at my watch, and I knew he was right,
Merry Christmas my friend.... and to all a Good Night.

~ Author Unknown *~

[Dog Pants]

Pffft. When the soldier email was on about living in a shitty little room I thought it meant the British accomodation.

[Guybrush]

sounds like my halls of residence in my first year at uni