Pants away!

Post by **Dog Pants** » July 27th, 2007, 19:33

Hello you wonderful bummers. BT have fucked up my internet connection yet again. Luckily I acquired a phone that gives me access, but using it is a pain that only Berk could enjoy. So my connection should be restored by monday, but I'm working away during the week for a few months so I won't be posting until next friday. Assuming BT don't fuck up again.

Post by **Dr. kitteny berk** » July 27th, 2007, 19:35

Fuck.

I had a tenner on you being lost at sea

Chickenz · Post by **Chickenz** » July 27th, 2007, 19:50

Loes

canine thong, was wondering where you had been.

Post by **Roman Totale** » July 27th, 2007, 20:24

Werd!

Have you tried giving BT's highly useful and effective tech call centre a ring....?

Post by **HereComesPete** » July 28th, 2007, 2:47

Post by **FatherJack** » July 28th, 2007, 3:32

Good luck with BT. The only person I've ever known to get their broadband sorted in a reasonable timeframe was my Dad.

This was chiefly because he was auditing them for ISO 9000 at the time, happened to talk to someone high in the customer broadband chain and horrified her with his tales of their ineptitude.

As a result he seems to have a hybrid business/home setup with a rapid response time, based in part, I'd imagine, on their desire to retain their certification.

General tips on dealing with them are to find someone who works for them, or their many suppliers to get the inside lingo, and always ask for an engineer when dealing with performance issues as the call centre operators don't know shit*. My personal knowledge of their Exchanges, while comprehensive, is sadly 15 years out of date. Find a telecomms student to give you some clever words, then blag your way to a decent service. There are tools which can test your latency and packet losses - all of which serve excellently to confound hapless helpdesk employees and get you passed up the chain.

Thing is, BT own most every piece of wire connected to the telephone system in this country, so you're wasting your time asking for engineers from third-party broadband suppliers, and to a degree it's not worth using anyone else for broadband if they depend on the phone lines. BT might be shit, but they've pretty much got your balls unless you're with an independently-connected ISP like the cable or wireless companies.

* This is deliberate, and quite correct, actually - I'm not knocking them. If the first person you talked to could fix all your problems, the entire support system would break down. It has to be tiered, or it just doesn't work.

Gunslinger42 · Post by **Gunslinger42** » July 28th, 2007, 8:54

I believe BT secretley stands for Bloody Twats

Killavodka · Post by **Killavodka** » July 28th, 2007, 9:36

Gunslinger42 wrote:I believe BT secretley stands for Blood Twats

no secret about it, although i prefer to use "Bollocking Tits"

abuse using genitalia ftw

spoodie · Post by **spoodie** » July 28th, 2007, 9:43

Which reminds me, I must sign up to Virgin today.

Anhamgrimmar · Post by **Anhamgrimmar** » July 28th, 2007, 9:51

for some reason i had visions of a cleaning product called pants-away then! (bang! and the knickers are gone!)

See you soon pants! when come back bring pies

Post by **Roman Totale** » July 28th, 2007, 10:33

FatherJack wrote:
General tips on dealing with them are to find someone who works for them

My mum and dad both work for BT. I shall shortly be receiving free broadband.

Killavodka · Post by **Killavodka** » July 28th, 2007, 10:52

bastard.

Post by **Dr. kitteny berk** » July 28th, 2007, 10:53

Killavodka wrote:bastard.

But he'd be getting BT broadband...

Free or not, that's a bad deal

Lateralus · Post by **Lateralus** » July 28th, 2007, 11:10

Pffft

eion · Post by **eion** » July 28th, 2007, 11:50

Anhamgrimmar wrote:bang! and the knickers are gone!

Post by **TezzRexx** » July 28th, 2007, 12:30

See you soon

FatherJack wrote:Stuff

Thank god for cable!

Fred Woogle · Post by **Fred Woogle** » August 3rd, 2007, 14:58

I'm using Sky, whenever it fucks up, have it sorted within half hour, only way to get me off the phone. But I still call them reguly to abuse the monkeys :D

Woo Elephant Yeah · Post by **Woo Elephant Yeah** » August 3rd, 2007, 16:15

My Sky bb kept dropping out on a daily basis, and I had to reboot the modem to get it to reconnect.

Finally tracked it down to a phone socket I forgot even existed in the corner of my kitchen, which didn't have a microfilter.
Since putting the microfilter in the socket my connection hasn't dropped out once.

Post by **Dog Pants** » August 4th, 2007, 15:01

Loes! just to update you all on my continued absence:
After three weeks of being told by BT that my connection should be active within five days, I've just been told by them that the exchange doesn't have broadband capability. I'm astounded by the level of incompetence I've encountered, and they're going to get a complaint to Ofcom for their trouble. In the meantime I'm going to try to get a cable connection from Virgin, as it seems to be my only option. I'm hoping I can get cable here at least.

Post by **HereComesPete** » August 4th, 2007, 15:11

Where exactly did you abandon mrs pants whilst you do your commute? up here in yorkshite, the get broadband or not thing can be a matter of metres, some houses on a road will, some wont, and bt will do fuck all about it unless every person in the village signs a petition, so that includes old people who don't care and people who already have the bb and it=no bb for all.