Urban Dead - Amusing anecdotes

Post by **Dog Pants** » December 7th, 2005, 12:56

While browsing the UD forum I found a thread on funny things you've seen people say in games. This is the best I've read so far:

Code: Select all

just saw this logging into my zombie:


zombietax said "BANG BARN! GANG BANG HANGAR!" (11-09 05:45 GMT)

A zombie said "Mrh?" (11-09 09:39 GMT)

A flare was fired 8 blocks to the east and 14 blocks to the south. (11-09 10:26 GMT)

QuercusP said "Afternoon everyone! Just nipping out for a lunchtime cigarette. Ah, pleasant out here, isn't it?" (11-09 12:37 GMT)

QuercusP said "*lights cigarette, takes long drag* What, graagh? Yeah, I suppose I ought to give them up but in the race between lung cancer and finding one of you guys nibbling on my head, I think the carcinogens are coming second." (11-09 12:38 GMT)

QuercusP said "Mrh? Yeah, here have a drag.. no, the lit end doesn't go... Memories of Life doesn't cover tabs, huh? Never mind, it'll go out soon." (11-09 12:39 GMT)

QuercusP said "Anyway, can't hang around out here all day. Got some barricading to do, you know how it is. Cheerio" (11-09 12:39 GMT)

We 5punkers have been baffling the current occupants of the Waugh Arms for days now, but this is just fantastic

pixie pie · Post by **pixie pie** » December 7th, 2005, 17:30

heh, must say it reminds me of when people actually role played playing world of warcraft, it makes it so much more fun.

Woo Elephant Yeah · Post by **Woo Elephant Yeah** » December 9th, 2005, 13:56

Check this lot out when I just logged in

Code: Select all

#  Dog Pants said "Fabyak's dead outside. I teabagged him." (12-06 18:42 GMT)
# sirfil said "1. I had a spare generator 2. It keeps the beer cold" (12-06 18:43 GMT)
# ZimJimmy said "i have fuel if needed" (12-06 19:45 GMT)
# sirfil said "Hic!" (12-06 20:48 GMT)
# Atalac said "crap. running low on medkits. do you think hospitals do home delivery if you spend over a fiver?" (12-06 21:15 GMT)
# Dog Pants said "Fab's still dead outside, one zombie outside cinema." (12-07 08:22 GMT)
# Dog Pants said "Add 5punk as your group you monkeys!" (12-07 08:32 GMT)
# randomgazz said "The zombie is still by the cinema, I've knocked him down to 10hp now" (12-07 09:50 GMT)
# GrimPagan said "Thanks Atalac! .Damn you, you made me waste an AP :p" (12-07 14:58 GMT)
# spoodie said "Its a pint for the fella, glass of white wine or a fruit cocktail for the lady. BACK OFF BRUSSELS! . well that's that over and done with" (12-07 15:16 GMT)
# Atalac said "Right, im out of medkits, im off to the nearest hospital. I may be some time. /heroism" (12-07 16:21 GMT)
# Atalac said "Bastards! nearest hospital is has power and is boarded up. Make mine a strong whisky to drown my failure." (12-07 16:28 GMT)
# randomgazz said "smash down the barricades, no need for more than very strong now most of the zombies are gone" (12-07 17:41 GMT)
# Atalac said "they were on the highest strength thing and I needed points to get back here" (12-07 18:34 GMT)
# Dog Pants said "Lo! Jesus has cometh! Please turn this wine into Kronenbourg, 'cos we've run out." (12-08 08:22 GMT)
# Brobbins said "Brobbins arrive tiem FTW!" (12-08 09:50 GMT)
# Fabyak1 said "/me bums" (12-08 10:07 GMT)
# PianoMan said "*Pianoman teabags all, then teabags the dusty piano in teh corner*" (12-08 10:12 GMT)
# Brobbins said "Zomb on 4 HP about 6 West 1 North, GO TEABAG IT!" (12-08 10:52 GMT)
# spoodie said "take that fabyak! you're my bitch now! *licks* (no more booze for me)" (12-08 11:13 GMT)
# Dog Pants said "'Lo Brobbins! Good to see you upright at last Fab. I'll have to change the group profile now!" (12-08 12:00 GMT)
# sirfil said "/slumps a little in his chair in the corner" (12-08 12:21 GMT)
# sirfil said "Ooh, it's a bit parky out there. And something stinks." (12-08 12:55 GMT)
# spoodie said "yeah, that stink was me . sorry *wafts*" (12-08 14:05 GMT)
# Filial Justice said "I'm infected, could use a heal if you can spare a medkit." (12-08 18:05 GMT)
# Atalac said "RIght, its time for getting some medkits /grabs teabags (own) and heads out door" (12-08 18:16 GMT)
# sirfil said "Phu-ew! You trumps smell like rotting flesh!" (12-08 18:30 GMT)
# Filial Justice said "I'm infected, could use a heal if you can spare a medkit." (12-08 18:43 GMT)
# spoodie said "I have no meds, need to go on another sortie tomorrow. Is there a zombie outside that needs reviving?" (12-08 18:58 GMT)
# Atalac said "Well, I got lost, turned into a zombie, killed , revived, killed, and now im back. God help me I am never leaving this pub again. What do you mean we are out of roasted peanuts? Noooooo!" (12-09 00:59 GMT)
# Tigg said "The Use of Technology is Forbidden...Jesus should know that! You sir, are but a Fraud!" (12-09 03:22 GMT)
# Tigg said "Now Jesus shall remeber his sin....the use of technology is forbidden by the Amish, and therefore God and his son! Learn and ye shall be saved!" (12-09 03:29 GMT)
# Filial Justice said "Man, FUCK the Amish! Goddamn son!" (12-09 03:33 GMT)
# Dog Pants said "*Teabags Tigg*" (12-09 09:20 GMT)
# Dog Pants said "There's a zombie outside if anyone would care to shoot it. I was trying to have a chat, but he bit me. How rude." (12-09 11:23 GMT)
# spoodie said "I think one of them is Ty but I have no syringes left" (12-09 11:28 GMT)
# randomgazz said "Christ I feel rough today. I guess the purple stuff at the back of the bar was meths after all." (12-09 11:30 GMT)

Post by **Roman Totale** » December 13th, 2005, 1:19

Well I'm currently stood in Vyse Row (right next to the Waugh Arms). I have 9 action points left but can't get into the pub as the fecking thing keeps saying "connection was refused".

On the wall someone has sprayed "Romans go home!"

Post by **Dog Pants** » December 13th, 2005, 8:15

Roman_Totale wrote:Well I'm currently stood in Vyse Row (right next to the Waugh Arms). I have 9 action points left but can't get into the pub as the fecking thing keeps saying "connection was refused".

On the wall someone has sprayed "Romans go home!"

Pffft, how ironic

Post by **Roman Totale** » December 17th, 2005, 16:07

Timewell Drive Police Dept, Eastonwood.

Someone has spraypainted on the wall:

"In communist Russia, zombie spy discovers you!"

spoodie · Post by **spoodie** » December 20th, 2005, 10:42

Code: Select all

    * 1st Level Fighter said "Egads!! Fellow peasants, we are besieged!!" (12-20 04:22 GMT)
    * 1st Level Fighter said "I shall use my trusty wand of Dimension Door!! This is beyond my Challenge Rating!!" (12-20 04:23 GMT)
    * A zombie attacked you for 4 damage. (12-20 04:23 GMT)
    * The zombie's bite was infected! (You'll now take 1HP damage for every action you take, except speaking. Infection can be cured with a First Aid Kit.) (12-20 04:23 GMT)
    * A zombie attacked you for 2 damage. (12-20 04:40 GMT)
    * A zombie attacked you for 2 damage. (12-20 04:42 GMT)
    * A zombie attacked you for 3 damage. (12-20 05:02 GMT)
    * A flare was fired 5 blocks to the west and 3 blocks to the north. (12-20 05:15 GMT)
    * A flare was fired 2 blocks to the east and 4 blocks to the south. (12-20 05:19 GMT)
    * President Kennedy said "You naughty zombies. You and that Zombie Lee Harvey Oswald, always biting people. Especially me. You can't eat my brains to find out what happened at my assassination. It just doesn't work that way. When will you learn?" (12-20 05:51 GMT)
    * President Kennedy said "Well, that's unfortunate. Neither one of us can barricade. Well, I suppose we'll have to wait until our more experienced fellows show up." (12-20 05:52 GMT)
    * President Kennedy said "What was I about? Oh, yes. Naughty zombies. How can Zombie Claus give you presents of sweet, sweet brains if you go around biting former U.S. Presidents?" (12-20 05:53 GMT)
    * President Kennedy said "Bad zombies. I can't get experience healing myself! Go attack Ian Quincy or something. Or join that strike everyone's going on about. If you go on strike, we'll go on strike to. Glorious Leader told me to tell you that. Well, not really." (12-20 05:56 GMT)
    * President Kennedy healed you for 5 HP. (12-20 05:57 GMT)
    * Victim 125 said "Zombies Zombies No No Noooooo" (12-20 05:57 GMT)
    * President Kennedy healed you for 5 HP. (12-20 05:57 GMT)
    * President Kennedy healed you for 5 HP. (12-20 05:59 GMT)
    * President Kennedy said "Hello" (12-20 06:00 GMT)
    * President Kennedy said "Didn't I just tell you about attacking me, zombie? I can't get XP healing myself, I told you! Now, I'm apparently done healing everyone else. I'm just going to soak up damage before popping into Burt Square PD now." (12-20 06:01 GMT)

Post by **Dog Pants** » December 20th, 2005, 11:19

Hehehe, more of this sort of thing.

mrbobbins · Post by **mrbobbins** » December 22nd, 2005, 0:47

Code: Select all

    * Lewis Skinner said "Hey, this is a pretty good turnout for a holiday karaoke Tuesday, isn't it?" (12-21 04:40 GMT)
    * Tasha Yar said "Brabbanz.Brabbanz.Brabbanz.Brabbanz...Brabbanz...BRABBANZ...BRABBANZ...Brabbanz, Brabbanz. Mhahah...ha." (12-21 04:42 GMT)
    * Vuron said "You know I think I have a Cd of Banarama in my pack I wonder if people would like to heat my version of Venus?" (12-21 04:42 GMT)
    * Vuron said "Goddess of the mountain top! Burning like a silver flame!" (12-21 04:43 GMT)
    * Thriller Zombie said "Bannannarama? Ah hah! Ah barn barnarh, mm hmm." (12-21 04:44 GMT)
    * Vuron said "Summit of beauty and love! Venus was her name!" (12-21 04:44 GMT)
    * Rotten Old Al said "MARRAH GRAHZMAHZ, HAMBARGAR MANZ!" (12-21 04:46 GMT)
    * Vuron said "You know Lewis the zed with the sequined glove is a pretty good dancer." (12-21 04:46 GMT)
    * Vuron said "You've been bit by, you've been clawed by a smooth criminal..." (12-21 04:48 GMT)
    * Rotten Old Al said "Aham...grrh. Gramma gahg ran arrah zha ah rahngaarh..." (12-21 04:48 GMT)
    * cromlich said "I can't really do Karaoke until I've had a few beers. Let me see... what's all this stuff behind the counter? Michelob Ultra? Is that all that's left?" (12-21 04:48 GMT)
    * Rotten Old Al said "Ha! Zambah Grahzmaz! Zambah Zannah Grahz grabz hambargarz! HA HA HA!" (12-21 04:49 GMT)
    * Vuron said "This one goes out to PianoMan: It’s nine o’clock on a saturday" (12-21 04:51 GMT)
    * cromlich said "It sounds like that old rotten zombie is singing Winter Wonderland. Is that right? It's so hard to understand you without a tongue." (12-21 04:51 GMT)
    * Vuron said "The regular crowd shuffles in, There’s an old man sitting next to me, Makin’ love to his tonic and gin" (12-21 04:53 GMT)
    * Rotten Old Al said "Rangharh Ranbahran? Ha! ...Zraagh bahz rang, arh rah razzanan? An ah raanh, ahrh ahz grazznn....Rargan an ah Rangharh Ranbahran...." (12-21 04:53 GMT)
    * Vuron said "He says, son, can you play me a memory? I’m not really sure how it goes, But it’s sad and it’s sweet and I knew it complete, When I wore a younger man’s clothes" (12-21 04:55 GMT)
    * cromlich said "In the meadow we can build a snow zombie. Then pretend that he is Michael J. He'll say: Are you undead? we'll say: No man..." (12-21 04:55 GMT)
    * cromlich said "But you can do the job when you're in town!" (12-21 04:56 GMT)
    * Vuron said "Sing us a song, you’re the piano man, Sing us a song tonight, Well, we’re all in the mood for a melody, And you’ve got us feelin’ alright" (12-21 04:56 GMT)
    * Thriller Zombie said "Ahhhh. Hambargarh. Man ah man.... Ah! Grab hra ham-bag, mman? Mahbah grab hra man-ham? Hmm? Hmmmmmm?" (12-21 04:57 GMT)
    * Vuron said "You know I thought this was going to be a Karaoke night but it seems like it's a hambargar cookout..." (12-21 04:58 GMT)
    * Rotten Old Al said "Hambargarz ANH zangang! Ah braa mah zhram hah ham, ba-ram-bah-bah-bahm...ram-bah-bah-bahm...ram-bah-bah-bahm....ahn mah zhram..." (12-21 05:00 GMT)
    * Vuron said "You know if you guys eat your hambargarz without cooking them enough you might get e coli" (12-21 05:01 GMT)
    * Vuron said "Then we'd have to send you over to the hospital to see if they can patch you up" (12-21 05:02 GMT)
    * Lewis Skinner said "Okay, okay...I want to try a song. This is a very special song, I heard it not too long ago, and while the tune may be familiar, I think the lyrics are something that..well, that we all will identify with. I'm not much of a singer, so bear with me." (12-21 05:06 GMT)
    * Lewis Skinner said "*clears throat, sings* Zombies...just killed a man...put their claws around his head, closed their jaws and now he's dead..." (12-21 05:07 GMT)
    * Lewis Skinner said "Oh ZOMBIES, his unlife has JUST BEGUN...and now he's going to dance the night awaaaaay...." (12-21 05:08 GMT)
    * Lewis Skinner said "ZOMBIES...OoooOOOoooh...didn't mean to make him die, but if he's not revived this time tomorrow, you're carrion, carrion..." (12-21 05:09 GMT)
    * Lewis Skinner said "uh...I don't know the rest of the words, actually. I was a bit tipsy when I heard the song. Last bar I was in just had crates of stale Zima, but, y'know, any port in a storm." (12-21 05:10 GMT)
    * Vuron said "*pulls out lighter, lights it and hold it over his head*" (12-21 05:11 GMT)
    * Lewis Skinner said "And allow me to add that that one carol-singing zombie has a mighty fine hat." (12-21 05:12 GMT)
    * Vuron said "Stale Zima, I think I'd rather drink fermented yak's milk laced with zombie urine than that crap" (12-21 05:13 GMT)
    * zomblor said "Rrrrrrrrrh rrrHHHH" (12-21 05:14 GMT)
    * Lewis Skinner said "It's just great to see people getting into the spirit of the season. Singing, dancing, gift-giving, wassailing...whatever THAT is, I think it has to do with drinking...and maybe involves making toasts or punching people, or both." (12-21 05:14 GMT)
    * Vuron said "Although I've found mixing spoiled milk, antifreeze and petrol makes for a mighty tasty glass of nog" (12-21 05:15 GMT)
    * Lewis Skinner said "Stale Zima is *nothing*. Dudes down in Clinch Way are drinking homemade prune wine fermented in the toilets. What's *that* about?" (12-21 05:15 GMT)
    * Lewis Skinner said "Huh. Auto-shop nog. ...what the hell, I'll give it a try. Someone toss me a mug from behind the bar!" (12-21 05:16 GMT)
    * Vuron said "You can even put it in a used syringe as a low cost revive tonic" (12-21 05:17 GMT)
    * Vuron said "You know I've been standing under this mistletoe for a half hour and nobody has tried kissing me yet. I am that repulsive?" (12-21 05:19 GMT)
    * Joe Cotton said "Nrh, rh rrh rrh, rrrn!" (12-21 05:20 GMT)
    * Vuron said "If I dressed like a 8 year old boy I bet the zombie with the glove would give me a kiss" (12-21 05:23 GMT)
    * Decedent said "Ha! Zambah gazz Zharan!" (12-21 05:23 GMT)
    * Vuron said "Thanks decedent, I love you too!" (12-21 05:25 GMT)
    * Lewis Skinner said "Hey, I got a kiss *and* a present from my old friend and famous star of stage and screen. Dance Fever, it's what I always wanted!" (12-21 05:33 GMT)
    * Lewis Skinner said "It's like a warm coat that knits itself *inside* you!" (12-21 05:34 GMT)
    * Lewis Skinner said "Whoa, that Auto-shop Nog is starting to kick in. I can't feel my tongue anymore, but I think I'm starting to taste things through my teeth. That's trippy." (12-21 06:00 GMT)
    * Tasha Yar said "Rhn zha rag rag raaban gaaz baab-baab-baaban...rgharzzzzZZZZZZzzzzzz...." (12-21 06:12 GMT)
    * Lewis Skinner said "Ugh...*damn*, Vuron, you mix a mean drink. I feel like someone's been painting the inside of my skull with pancake batter and chunks of radioactive plutonium. I know this because everything looks like it's glowing green and smelling like syrup." (12-21 14:28 GMT)
    * Lewis Skinner said "I kept having weird dreams, too. Lots of shooting and singing and loud crashing sounds." (12-21 14:29 GMT)
    * Lewis Skinner said "...so basically, I'd have to say that this was the BEST. DAMN. KARAOKE. TUESDAY. *EVER*. And look how many people stayed behind to clean up! That's the Christmas spirit in action!" (12-21 14:31 GMT)

Man, I thought we were weird!!!

caveman900 · Post by **caveman900** » December 22nd, 2005, 2:55

we are. and proud of it.

mrbobbins · Post by **mrbobbins** » December 22nd, 2005, 11:39

Nice to know I chose a name that zombies can approximate with their limited speech...

Code: Select all

* Tasha Yar said "Brabbanz.Brabbanz.Brabbanz.Brabbanz...Brabbanz...BRABBANZ...BRABBANZ...Brabbanz, Brabbanz. Mhahah...ha." (12-21 04:42 GMT)

Tasha Yar proceeded to munch on me for a bit before being taken outside for a severe beating

Post by **Dog Pants** » December 28th, 2005, 7:32

*Sigh* Dead now, but at least I got to listen to the Zambahs wishing me a merry Christmas while they ate me:

Code: Select all

#  spoodie said "ZOMBIE ZOMBIE ZOMG!" (12-24 14:18 GMT)
# Clint Stompheader said "Zhangah bahz, zhangah bahz, zhangah ahhhh zah ghaaaaaah! MARRAH GRAAAAHZMAZ!" (12-25 08:29 GMT)
# Clint Stompheader said "Harh gamz zana ghaz, harh gamz zana ghaz, rha zahn zanah ghaz BRA!NZ" (12-25 12:06 GMT)
# Clint Stompheader said "Marrah zambah grahzmaz an hannaghah!" (12-25 12:07 GMT)
# Thriller Zombie said "MARRAH GRAHZMAZ, HARMANZ!" (12-25 13:58 GMT)
# 2Shirts said "Dumb arse Zeds" (12-25 15:58 GMT)
# Tasha Yar said "Marrah Grazhmaz!" (12-26 05:23 GMT)
# Joe Cotton said "Harh gamz Zanah Ghaz, harh gamz Zanah Ghaz, rhah han Zanah Ghaz rhan!" (12-26 05:25 GMT)
# Joe Cotton said "Marrah Grahzmaz, harmanz!" (12-26 05:25 GMT)

Edited for length.

spoodie · Post by **spoodie** » December 28th, 2005, 11:33

As my zombie

Code: Select all

# Magus0 said "Hiya. Man, you guys seem nicer than the last group of zombies I saw." (12-28 01:48 GMT)
# Magus0 said "I told the last group I hated to do it, but I kinda had to shoot them." (12-28 01:48 GMT)
# Magus0 said "I mean, I gotta propogate my species.they were being babies about it." (12-28 01:49 GMT)
# Magus0 said "Anyway.I don't have head shot, so you can stand up, EXP intact." (12-28 01:49 GMT)
# Magus0 said "Ahh.sweet level-up. Your sacrifice was not in vain, much appreciated." (12-28 01:51 GMT)
# Magus0 attacked you for 5 damage. (12-28 01:52 GMT)
# Magus0 attacked you for 5 damage. (12-28 01:52 GMT)
# Magus0 attacked you for 5 damage. (12-28 01:52 GMT)
# Magus0 attacked you for 10 damage. (12-28 01:52 GMT)

And so on ...

cashy · Post by **cashy** » December 28th, 2005, 14:54

Code: Select all

sirfil said "Yay! I killed a zombie at last, and can finally get Free Running." (12-14 10:50 GMT)
sirfil said ".which sounds like a cross between Free Willy and Cool Runnings. Cool Willy, FTW." (12-14 10:50 GMT)

pfft

Post by **Dog Pants** » January 16th, 2006, 14:57

I don't log on for a few days and get a the full version of the weekend's conversation:

Code: Select all

    *  Woo Elephant Yeah said "Hoorah, I haven;t been here in weeks. A pint of the usual landlord, I have a thirst to quench before attacking the Mall" (01-13 18:01 GMT)

    * Brobbins said "No point wasting generators or fuel, they're only useful in hospitals (increases healing with Surgery skill) or buildings with mobile phone masts to power them. What have we got left behind the bar. pass the babysham barkeep!" (01-13 19:12 GMT)

    * Beric said "how do I get more ammo?" (01-13 20:04 GMT)

    * Beric said "how do iget out of here now that you have heavily barricaded the building?" (01-13 20:05 GMT)

    * Odd Bob said "Without a generator, how would we power the jukebox? I mean, sure, the only discs that seem to be in it are Lionel Ritchie albums and a collection of Now! stuff from the late 80s, but it's better than nothing." (01-14 11:31 GMT)

    * Odd Bob said "Not *much* better, of course. In fact, if I hear 'Say You, Say Me' one more time I'm liable to go berserk and start eating brains just so I can't hear it any more over the munching noise and distant screaming." (01-14 11:33 GMT)

    * Odd Bob said "Speaking of screaming, is that Aftershock I see behind the bar?" (01-14 11:34 GMT)

    * Tandino said "Any of you lovely 5punkers have a mobile? Just found one." (01-14 12:14 GMT)

    * spoodie said "Bumhugs all round! Whats the best way to get meds and syringes from here?" (01-14 12:42 GMT)

    * ProfHawking said "I HAVE ZEE SRYNGES!" (01-14 13:36 GMT)

    * sirfil said "I have a mobile, it has Crazy Frog on it though. TUrn up the Lionel Ritchie." (01-16 09:14 GMT)

    * Odd Bob said "Crazy Frog *and* now more volume for Lionel? And here I was thinking things were bad enough with the undead roaming the streets at will, people being trapped in the city living off nothing but scavenged packets of Angel Delight.." (01-16 10:06 GMT)

    * Odd Bob said "Speaking of which, I'm hungry. *looks around for a spoon*" (01-16 10:07 GMT)

    * spoodie said "Anyone want a book? I have plenty; Yellow River By I. P. Daily, What Makes Airplanes Go By Jeff Fuel, Urban Areas By Bill Tupp, You're Kidding! By Shirley U. Jest, Your Guess Is As Good As Mine By S. T. Mate or Yoko's Robe By Kim Ono." (01-16 11:59 GMT)

    * Woo Elephant Yeah said "Just stocked up on loads of unuseful stuff. There's about 2000 people in total in the Caiger Mall, but hardly anything to pick up when doing a search. I have lots of shit, and can;t use any of it. Where can I get a gun???" (01-16 14:31 GMT)

Edited for length (and girth).

randomgazz · Post by **randomgazz** » January 16th, 2006, 16:35

I'll admit I did try and punch spodie for that one.

spoodie · Post by **spoodie** » January 16th, 2006, 17:02

randomgazz wrote:I'll admit I did try and punch spodie for that one.

But I'm too quick for you. I found a page with hundreds of book puns so expect plenty more.

spoodie · Post by **spoodie** » January 22nd, 2006, 11:29

# Jon Scourge said "NecroTech theme song: Revive them zombies from the dead (Necrotech, necrotech) Just be careful when they lurch their necks (Necrotech, Necrotech)" (01-21 20:47 GMT)

spoodie · Post by **spoodie** » January 25th, 2006, 14:22

# Old Man Wiley said "If any of you are female, come on over to Club Vagg, because it's just not living up to its name right now." (01-25 00:25 GMT)

Woo Elephant Yeah · Post by **Woo Elephant Yeah** » January 25th, 2006, 17:50

Somebody has spraypainted Deject's Mom, Naked onto a wall.

MILF