D&D Adventure #2: Green Shell Suit

[Grimmie]

17,-1 = 17

Impressive maths.

You hit him anyway, arrow careening into his throat, but he's still standing, gurgling dark blood everywhere.

We're back on Forenrond, who is off to the side with Thor and Thoroar.

[Roman Totale]

I was distracted by an Orc in a tutu.

I was minding my business
Taking some gold from
The lair of an Orc called Bogrot
It was worthwhile living a laughable life
To set my eyes on the blistering sight
Of an Orc in a tutu
He's very strange
I'll just have to take his life away

That's tiwce now - I'll have to get Glib some gladioli

[Dog Pants]

I'll dash forward and jab with my rapier.

Roll(1d20)+0:
20,+0
Total:20

Ahahahaha!

Roll(1d20)+0:
11,+0
Total:11

....

Roll(1d6)+0:
1,+0
Total:1

Oh for fuck's sake.

[Dog Pants]

That's tiwce now - I'll have to get Glib some gladioli

Damn, I was going to be all smug and recognise the reference, and you posted the Youtube link.

[Grimmie]

He's teetering!

Thor, you're up. Finish him!

[FatherJack]

Let's do this.

Stab with rapier.

Attack:
Roll(1d20)+2:
11,+2
Total:13

Well, bum.

In case I somehow still hit:

Damage:
Roll(1d6)+1:
1,+1
Total:2

Gah, that Smiths music is making us all peaceful.

[Grimmie]

With a flick of your wrist, you take down yet another orc, slicing through his throat.
He clutches his neck, dropping the bloodied mace he was clutching, and topples back on to Bogrot's corpse.

At the sound of the last of their overlords dropping, the three Goblins that retreated into the back room all toss their maces through the open door, letting them clatter to the ground. The civilians stay back there too.

Combat's over.

[Roman Totale]

Aaaaw, the lovers embrace even in death.

Is Thoroar alright? He looks a little peeky.

[FatherJack]

That's a relief. At least he had the pleasure/priviledge of dying by Bogrot's side.

[Roman Totale]

That's a relief. At least he had the pleasure/priviledge of dying by Bogrot's side.

[Dog Pants]

Without pausing, Shankley approaches the nearest goblin and runs it through.

Roll(1d20)+0:
14,+0
Total:14

Roll(1d6)+0:
6,+0
Total:6

[Roman Totale]

I don't know - out of sight of the Paladin and he goes crazy!

We could get some of them to tell us where all the treasure is. If they don't tell us we could coerce them. I have an idea: we blindfold one, tie him down to a bench, then horse feed him a selection of cold meats.

I call it "smorgasboarding".

[Grimmie]

You turn the corner and get an idea of what's in this room (and the next).
The civilians are quite clearly civilians, they're in hessian one-pieces, and some in less.
The others are wearing worn leather armour and clutch their shields to their chests.



The room to the North-east has a few small braziers burning away inside.

You've put yourself between them and their discarded maces, and put one of the shirtless civilians on the end of your blade.
The goblin next to him shrieks and backs away into the corner of the room.

[FatherJack]

I have some rope and trail rations. But, trail rations...<shudders> Even goblins don't deserve that.

[Roman Totale]

Can we turn the pigs into bacon?

[Baliame]

I'll continue lying unconscious.

[Grimmie]

Can we turn the pigs into bacon?

Sure, drive a blade through one and lug it home, that'll be dinner sorted for a while.

I'll continue lying unconscious.

It'll take a while for you to regain hit points naturally (Page 145/46), so you're going to have to rest, or get some magical healing before you're fighting fit again.

[Dog Pants]

Hello corner goblin;

Roll(1d20)+0:
11,+0
Total:11

Roll(1d6)+0:
4,+0
Total:4

Do I need to roll these out? I'm just going to keep stabbing until I've no live goblins to stab.

Also, regarding the pigs, is it not easier to transport live pigs? They transport themselves.

[Grimmie]

Herding pigs! You can always try.

Nah, the remaining goblins only have a few HP left, one of them has the back of his head dissolved by acid, even.
And there's no way out other than the door-way that you entered through.

I'll give your team-mates an opportunity to stop you, though.

The adjacent room has a sort of wooden throne in the middle of it made from lumber.

[shot2bits]

im only concerned about "liberating" the pigs

edit: oh yeah and getting bali out alive, maybe if we have enough rope we can strap him onto the 4 pigs and have them carry him for us