Tales from Dwarf Fortress

[Joose]

I think we need a split thread for Pant's, Joose's and S2B's Dwarven Adventures.

One of my doorfs went mad, took off all their clothes, and stood in the river not doing anything for a loooong time (all autumn, and some of the summer). They are not there now, but im not sure where they have gone. I'll look for them at some point.

I also had a possesion, but thankfully mine didnt explode. Instead, they took over a masonry workshop and produced what appears to be a large blue polo called "Buketbukithkubuk". Ive no idea what it does. Its been put in the back of a distant storeroom just in case it goes off bang.

[Dog Pants]

Things are looking up as a new mine hits gold and precious stone. The well is built, living quarters are being decorated, and trade is good. For the first time in a long time the dwarves are starting to feel happy. However, the paradise is short lived. Following a caravan in, a few goblins appear near the entrance to Riddlecrypt. Luckily it's busy enough to notice them, and experienced in their drills my militia acts fast. A goblin child catcher is hacked apart by my squad, giving them their fist kill and making real soldiers of them. However, reports are coming in of enemy archers on the hill outside. One of the militia investigates, and comes under a hail of arrows. Hiding behind a tree he notices the goblins have been shooting our animals for sport, and the hillside is spattered with blood, vomit, and dead kittens. The bastards. My enraged dwarves charge up the hill under heavy fire to come to the aid of their beleagured comrade, but it's all too much and they're forced back. The goblins advance and surround the poor militiaman, but they underestimate the ferocity of a dwarf who's seen a kitten massacre. He starts bashing goblin heads with his bare hands, and the distraction is enough for his fellows to regroup and attack. In the meantime the commander has recruited any dwarf civilians who know how to use a weapon, and they join the fray. Suddenly on equal footing and with dwarves crashing into their flank, the goblins break. Several are hacked down as they scatter, and the militia chase them across the hillside, hacking them down whenever they falter. Kitten Hill, as it will come to be known, is slick with the blood of goblin and dwarf alike, and the raiding party's thieves find a similar end on the cobbles of the fortress's entrance road. Mutilated corpses and body parts start being dragged to the refuse pile to be thrown in with the dead cockroaches and lizards. It's no more than they deserve. The dwarves lick their wounds and count their dead, but nontheless carry on.

EDIT: Alas, as the lone goblin survivor flees the area, four of the brave militia are found among the bodies. They took almost double their number in goblins with them though, and the remainder of the squad are now battle-hardened.

[friznit]

I think you should build a statue in their honour.

My first forray into Nibblecrack Keep was an unmitigated disaster. Minerdorf dug a small cave with a couple of levels into the side of a hill, then planned to flood a room from the nearby river to silt it up for farming. Unfortunately the river was rather more watery than my dorfs had accounted for and very soon Nibblecrack was turned into a swimming pool.

Back on the surface, we used a dewpond to channel water into a cave for farming. We then built a bunch of workshops outside to get things building while Minerdorf and his newly arrived apprentice set to work excavating a proper home beneath the earth. By this time we were heading into winter and it had been raining hard for some time; food was running short and the dorfs had to resort to hunting vermin to suplement their meagre rations.

I'm not sure what happened next because I've not discovered how to track the general mood of the dorfs, but all of a sudden one unhappy chap went berserk and slaughtered his pet puppy. I think this upset him so much that he promptly went on a rampage of death and destruction, quickly reducing the dorf population to zero before drowning himself in the river.

[spoodie]

Motherfuckers, now I'm playing.

I spent ages watching some of these videos:
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=koZUS2h-Yzc[/media]

[Dog Pants]

That video looked quite good actually. I might have to go root out some of the later ones.

[spoodie]

That video looked quite good actually. I might have to go root out some of the later ones.

I've watched about 15 of them and he explains it all very well. The first series is a year old, so he's making another series explaining the changes with the recent update.

[Joose]

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu...

[friznit]

Or we could make a simplified 5punky startup one. The first few steps are pretty much the same as far as I can make out:

1) Get everything indoors (still working on how to do this - designate storage areas I guess?)
2) Set up carpenter and mason, build beds and doors
3) Make small bedrooms (1x3 - 3x3) depending on preference. Remember that when the economy kicks in, big rooms are going to be expensive
4) Make a huge dining hall for dorfs, also assign it as a meeting hall. Get this hall big and make sure that you have enough chairs and tables (need one chair and one table per seating)
6) Then build defences, food industry, clothing and crafts industry etc.

Ed.: I think we need a Hint & Tips thread separate from the Stories

[Joose]

Ed.: I think we need a Hint & Tips thread separate from the Stories

Also: oh holy fuck. Explanation of the above picture needed, I think.

Firstly, the poor Ducim Egenzulban has not been sleeping well. Despite my best efforts, ive not managed to build individual bedrooms for everyone yet. Because of this, she ends up sleeping next to the workshops. This is bad.

So bad, in fact, that she goes insane. I get the little "shes gone insane" message, and zoom over to see what she does. When I get there, she is surrounded by blood. Its fucking everywhere. Examining it closely shows its not hers, so where is it coming from? Her baby. Thats right folks, she has gone so insane through lack of sleep that she is beating the shit out of her newborn child.

More than a little horrified, I spring the militia into action. They surround her, and beat on her. She fights back, all whilst still holding the injured baby. Bits start to fall off her, but still she fights on. She actually took a lot more damage than is listed above before finally going down.

The baby lived, and is now physically healthy. However, its still drenched in its mothers blood, and I keep getting the message "Dwarf Baby cancels clean self: Too insane".

Jesus.

[buzzmong]

That's just a little bit grim but also awesome.

[Dog Pants]

This game can be pretty gruesome.

Currently the dwarves of Riddlecrypt are fighting off a Hill Titan - a coral-skinned, poison spitting, winged quadraped. It arrived a while ago and started attacking my trappers, so reluctantly I sent off my militia to fight it. I expected the thing to kill them quickly and ravage my fortress, but instead they put up a good fight. Unfortunately the thing is proving difficult to kill, and squad after squad are being drafted now to try to overwhelm it. The fightin has been going on for probably half an hour real-time, and the area is scattered with dead and injured militia. The thing is badly damaged though, so surely it can't last much longer? Well I thought that 20 minutes ago...

[Mr. Johnson]

The sims: dwarf edition.

[Dog Pants]

With four squads of militia crushed, not far from the memorial statue on Kitten Hill, the occupants of Riddlecrypts begin to freak out at the relentless advance of the Hill Titan. Despite the creature being smashed and broken it showed no sign of stopping. The mayor of Riddlecrypts looked about him, at the chaos and panic setting in and the grief on the faces of the friends of the brave fighters who were dead and dying, and made his decision. The order to abandon the fortress was given, and just over a hundred dwarves fled for the safety of other nearby civilisations and fortresses. As they left, the Titan could be seen on the blood soaked hilltop, stalking among the bodies and slaying any survivors. Those dwarves who eventually found safety told of the sacrifice the Riddlecrypts militia had made, buying time to evacuate with their lives.

[Baliame]

Breaking news: Cure for traincrack found to be more addictive than traincrack.

[shot2bits]

today my dwarfs are working hard digging deeper trying to find metals and coal to make weapons from as the goblins started showing up. i had a couple of dogs chase it round chewin at its legs and eventually they prevailed. then a mechanic was possesed, took over a workshop for a bit and made something pretty, and then proceeded to find an unsuspecting dwarf and bludgeon him to death, which caused the dogs to then turn on him, it was a gruesome fight and there are some eyeballs and teeth lying about the place but in the end the dwarf was bought to a bloody demise and the dogs seem to be happy with their work

oh and i learnt the goblin civ im near is called osta ezla, which translates to "the witch of piss"

[Dog Pants]

oh and i learnt the goblin civ im near is called osta ezla, which translates to "the witch of piss"

I love the random names generated by this game.

[shot2bits]

oh my, ive just been poking about underground as i noticed a couple of underground caverns and wondered what rocks where around and 10 layers bellow the main floor of my fortress on the worldmap region map i spotted cavern away from the rest with a bed symbol, but the local map stops a few stops short of where it is so i have no idea what this is.

im curious, but im unsure on whether to try tunneling over to find out who it is just yet as ive still not found any metals to make weapons with, other than some gold but thats no use for military needs

[Dog Pants]

You do get underground civilisations of animal people apparently, like lizardmen. Might be that.

[Anhamgrimmar]

That's just a little bit grim but also awesome.

It gets more awsome when you get dorf mothers in the militia, using their baby as some sort of warclub!

[shot2bits]

a group of goblin archers and pikeman just ambushed my fortress, they took the dogs by suprise first and then slaughtered the dwarfs who happened to be standing outside at the time, at this point the rest of the dwarfs started panicking and chaos ensued, people ran outside to meet more goblin arrows as a couple members of the militia and a fisherman chased a couple of the goblins up the cliff, the two militia stopped to fight with a group of goblins that where up a few layers while the fisherman carried on to the peak alone to find 3 goblin pikeman standing around, he fought bravely even with a broken stomach, lung and heart all oozing blood amongst a long list of other inuries untill finally being killed.
so far they havnt got inside the fortress but outside is scattered with the bodies of dozens of dwarves and animals and bloods covering everything

i went to find what the captain of the guard was doing during all of this and it turned out he went to grab some mushrooms ignoring all the fighting and leading goblins to my external underground farms, who promptly killed all the farmers while the captain of the guard grabbed his mushroom and buggered off undesturbed to eat his food