The Return of the Pants Friday Question of the Week: Drunks

Post by **Dog Pants** » January 2nd, 2009, 14:26

Seeing as we all probably had a few sherberts the other night for New Year, and possibly did things we might regret. Share with us the silly things you've done while drunk. My list is quite extensive:

Thrown up on my mate's son's bed
Fallen asleep on the back steps of Wolverhampton theatre
Woken up with a large lady of Afro-Caribbean origin
Uttered the line "come on, you know you want to" to a friendly lady, scuppering all chances
Fallen over and knocked half of one of my front teeth out
Accused my SLA players of making too many jokes about penguins
Accidentally left an answering machine message on my mate's phone telling him I loved him (it was meant for Mrs Pants)
Kicked a girl in the tit while dancing with her, scuppering my chances once again
Pissed off Mrs Pants about a gazillion times (but not pissed on, thank god)
Snogged the IT lady at work after throwing up in the bar

That's all that comes to mind, although I'm sue there's more

Mr. Johnson · Post by **Mr. Johnson** » January 2nd, 2009, 14:34

that's it, i'm withdrawing your vote for 5punker of the year.

now that i think of it; picked up the courage to kiss Mrs. Johnson. But i don't regret that.

Post by **Joose** » January 2nd, 2009, 14:37

That immediately come to mind:

Breaking my wrist falling off a car that was being driven at speed through a multi-story car park.
Screaming and running away (and all the way up the street) after actually *looking* at a girl in a nightclub that I had just sucked face with.
Sitting on a uni halls roof in a Jujitsu gi throwing bread through a strangers window. Im not sure why.
Hit a bouncer in the face through over enthusiastic dancing in a club in Liecester. Just after my mate had hit him in the face through over enthusiastic dancing.
Probably more, I'll add if i think of any

Wiggy · Post by **Wiggy** » January 2nd, 2009, 15:02

Joose wrote:Sitting on a uni halls roof in a Jujitsu gi throwing bread through a strangers window.

Fantastic!

Post by **Grimmie** » January 2nd, 2009, 15:34

Dog Pants wrote:Accused my SLA players of making too many jokes about penguins

buzzmong · Post by **buzzmong** » January 2nd, 2009, 16:03

I'm not one for drunken antics, I lead a dull existance...

One that springs to mind as I got reminded of it the other week is getting completely hammered at a local club called Rio's a few years back, nipping to the bogs to throw up in the toilet, rinsing my mouth out with beer, having a big blank patch, find myself snogging some rather fit girl who I now know was underage by at least one year if not 2 (so, 16 or 17), then another blank patch with a brief interlude of throwing up in the bogs again.

Good night that.

And then there was Rab's and mine end of the college HND drinkathon where after 13 hours of constant drinking I fell asleep in a nightclub for about 45 mins as I was shattered.

shot2bits · Post by **shot2bits** » January 2nd, 2009, 16:04

hrmmm

when i got alchohol poisoning a few years back i threw up on pretty much everything and almost everyone and then told the paramedics i was 42 and told them to fuck off

me and my mate also ended up making a roadblock made from loads of construction stuff left on the side of a road. it blocked up over 30 cars and we got stopped by the 2 dumbest police in england

i also vaguely remember me and my friend snuck into his girlfriends greenhouse at about 5 in the morning after having a lie down in the road, we meant to get up at 8 before anyone would be up but ended up waking up at 2 in the afternoon

Post by **Dog Pants** » January 2nd, 2009, 16:29

shot2bits wrote:me and my mate also ended up making a roadblock made from loads of construction stuff left on the side of a road. it blocked up over 30 cars and we got stopped by the 2 dumbest police in england

A couple of mates and I once took a Lancashire police cone, drove over the border, replaced a Yorkshire police cone with it, then put that where the original was. We weren't drunk though, just wanted to confuse whoever found them.

shot2bits · Post by **shot2bits** » January 2nd, 2009, 16:37

Dog Pants wrote:
A couple of mates and I once took a Lancashire police cone, drove over the border, replaced a Yorkshire police cone with it, then put that where the original was. We weren't drunk though, just wanted to confuse whoever found them.

pffffft

that reminds me that after building the road block we picked up a sign and carried it for about 15 minutes before we realised it had a bunch of sandbags attached to it

mrbobbins · Post by **mrbobbins** » January 2nd, 2009, 16:37

Verbally abusing the band <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clock_(dance_act)" target="_blank">Clock</a> at a nightclub then laughing in the guys face when a bouncer had to restrain him from attacking me

Jumping up and down on the roof of a mates car at the stroke of midnight on New Years eve. Then pouring a can of lager into the resulting dent and drinking it.

Phoning British Gas from a public phone box telling them I could smell a leak, then climbing onto the roof of a nearby school to wait and watch them arrive (they never turned up)

Telling loads of people in a pub that I could do the run up a chair and let it fall over forwards thing, I ran into it tripped over and landed on my face.

Emptying a pint of Lager over a balcony in a pub, I then hid and let my mate get a load of abuse from a very wet girl

Falling asleep under a tree in a field about 2 minutes walk from my house.

At a festival I threw up inside a mates sleeping bag, and onto a t shirt he bought someone as a gift. He had to spend the night sleeping outside the tent. It was not warm.

Falling asleep on the toilet in a club, I was woken by 2 bouncers peering over the top of cubicles on either side of me. More specifically I was awoken by the buckets of water they poured over me.

That's a few I can think of off the top of my head

The Shutting Downs · Post by **The Shutting Downs** » January 2nd, 2009, 18:13

Destroyed a few roadside 'men at work' signs by either throwing them at friends or placing them in the path of oncoming traffic.

Got onto the Putney radio version of crimewatch for it as well...

Also, fell asleep next to the speaker stacks at the Electric Ballroom.

Post by **FatherJack** » January 2nd, 2009, 19:51

One night,

Took a ride in a shopping trolley, which ended quite abruptly on the white steps of the Council House
[img size=250]http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a115/ ... lHouse.jpg[/img]

Nicked one of these
[img size=150]http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a115/ ... exHE65.jpg[/img]
then wired it up at home and had it as a table lamp

Later, the toilet exploded.

I wish I could remember more nights.

Mr. Johnson · Post by **Mr. Johnson** » January 2nd, 2009, 20:29

and how about that time you and those two other priests entered the eurosong competition, haha, that w...

...hang on

Post by **Roman Totale** » January 2nd, 2009, 21:01

Apologies for length, girth and repeated stories:

Hurled myself to the floor of a tube pulling into the station at Becontree shouting "it's not a Becontree, it's a ham bush!"

Set the intruder alarms off at the Leeds Corn Exchange. At night they have/had a little bar type thing and all the shop parts are fenced off. Someone bet me I couldn't climb over the fence. Doing my best Spiderman impression I dexterously vaulted over the fence, then in a moment brazen showing off ran to the top level and waved at all my mates. WOOP WOOP! Alarms go off, I froze for a second then legged it back down the stairs. Saw two bouncers running up towards me, put my hands up in a 'lol, you got me' manner, got rugby tackled to the floor and frog marched through to bar to the manager's office. They couldn't turn the alarms off and took great pleasure in showing me the droves of people exiting the bar because of the noise. I had to pay something like £90 to cover the call out fee etc which practically put me in poverty (this was during my brief stint as a student).

Mate's 16th birthday in town, Aftershock had just been brought out. Drank half a bottle in about half an hour, 40 minutes later decided it was definitely time to go home. Threw up on the tram with head between legs, river of bright pink vomit flowed down the carriage - it was like a scene from Ghostbusters 2.

For 3 years denied that I was ever at our school leaving party after A levels in town - until someone provided photographic evidence of me looking hammered in a club with everyone else.

Told my boss she was fuckable (she is, didn't get me anywhere though).

Proposed to a girl on the Christmas works night out using a plastic ring from inside a Christmas cracker.

Proposed to a second girl on the Christmas works night out using a plastic ring from inside a Christmas cracker.

Aged 16 getting a lift home from my dad after a night out. Had to stop the car to throw up, car stopped on a country lane, I run off to the side and lean against a wooden fence for support - fence collapses and sends me rolling into a shallow ditch (thankfully free of water). Dad not impressed.

Also on the Christmas do, smashed my knee up and strained my groin doing dance moves that were a weird hybrid of Elvis Presley and John Travolta.

Drew a gigantic RO-BO in crayon on a pub wall.

Fell off a stool and collapsed on the floor laughing after trying poppers for the first time after a night in town.

Got a taxi back home with a lady friend who lives round the corner, I got dropped off first and told her to text me when she got home. 15 mins later no text, so I phone and phone and phone but it just rings out. I get worried and set off at a full drunken sprint round to her house. A few minutes later I arrive on her round knackered and pasty faced, bloodshot eyes staring wildly. See the front door wide open with two scally lads sat on the doorstep - I charge over and shout "what's going on here?!". One of lads, looking slightly shocked says "er, it's my house...". I take a step back and realise he's right - my friend lives a couple of doors down. Whoops. Apparently she'd been throwing up in the bathroom, the result of my idea to do shots of absinthe for most of the night.

Long time ago, drunken piggy back races through town. I can't remember if I was riding or if I was giving the rides, but I do remember falling face first on to the floor and not being able to put my hands out - cracked my chin on the pavement and ended up with a rather worrying fleshy lump under my jawbone for several years.

Very, very drunk, but decided I wanted to go and get more alcohol. A more sober and sensible friend advised this was a bad idea and tried to stop me - I vaulted his garden fence and legged it down the street. He followed so I ran into a nearby graveyard to try and lose. He found me behind a headstone, out of breath and giggling my tits off.

I'm sure there are more...

Post by **Joose** » January 2nd, 2009, 21:16

Roman Totale wrote: Told my boss she was fuckable (she is, didn't get me anywhere though).

I remember you telling us about that.

Ive thought of a couple others:

"This is not a code"

Also, I once decided to walk home from a night out. A night out that was 10-15 miles from home. A night out that I left my mrs at. To be fair, I did make it the right distance. Just 180 degrees in the wrong direction.

Post by **Dog Pants** » January 2nd, 2009, 21:19

Roman Totale wrote:Drew a gigantic RO-BO in crayon on a pub wall.

That reminds me of my drunken (not serious) fight with Berk at an earlier Grimbash. My thumb hurt for weeks.

Baliame · Post by **Baliame** » January 2nd, 2009, 21:34

I once was at a house party, and there was a terrace both on the ground floor and the first floor, though the one on the first floor was a bit smaller. The first floor terrace happened to be empty while below me the other one was simply full of people. I threw up on the people on the ground floor, and then suddenly it occured to me that I'm going to die. So I locked myself in the toilet and pretended that I was taking a dump for half an hour. I survive, but some poor guy got beat up.

Post by **Dog Pants** » January 2nd, 2009, 21:42

Baliame wrote:I once was at a house party, and there was a terrace both on the ground floor and the first floor, though the one on the first floor was a bit smaller. The first floor terrace happened to be empty while below me the other one was simply full of people. I threw up on the people on the ground floor, and then suddenly it occured to me that I'm going to die. So I locked myself in the toilet and pretended that I was taking a dump for half an hour. I survive, but some poor guy got beat up.

Reminds me of Chunk's story in The Goonies.

Post by **FatherJack** » January 2nd, 2009, 21:42

Got home one Thursday night from the indie music club we used to go to and decided I was going to attend the Reading festival. Borrowed the contents of the phone money box (probably about a tenner) and started walking, not realising it was about 80 miles away. Fell asleep on a bench in Long Itchington, 10 miles from home. Woke up, walked back to Coventry and went to college.

Hehulk · Post by **Hehulk** » January 2nd, 2009, 22:44

First christmas party ever at 16, while I was still about as lightweight as possible, I downed 4-6 cans of strongbow in about an hour, then with my vision spliting into two started discovering vodka. This is while I had two friends, a couple of years older, advising me to stop drinking. Cue 4 hours of projectile vomiting and a 1am phonecall from another friend to my mother asking if she could come pick me up (She'd offered earlier in the day, with a final limit on 2am iirc). Next morning I discovered what a hangover was.

Motorbike rally 6 later later. Downed 3 litres of cider over the course of the day, then threw a bucket of water over random girl I remeber having a crush on, the logic there-in being she'd have to go change and I could somehow play my cards right and end up in the tent with her when she did

And for the life of me, that's all I can remeber. I know there's got to be alot more stories, but I can't remeber any

The Return of the Pants Friday Question of the Week: Drunks

The Return of the Pants Friday Question of the Week: Drunks

Re: The Return of the Pants Friday Question of the Week: Dru