The 5punk Award nominations 2008

[Dog Pants]

The time has come for the annual 5punk awards. Please nominate 5punkers for the following awards:

Potential Vampire
The 5punk award for Most Potential As A Vampire is awarded on the basis of a 5punker seemingly spending all their time, or at least all their nights, gaming. Awarded for dedication to our common interest, the Most Potential As A Vampire can be found staring blearily and red-eyed at their monitor at any given time of the day or night. Possibly surrounded by pizza boxes and empty Coke cans.

Talented Bastard
The 5punk award for Talented Bastard is awarded on the basis of creative ability that makes the rest of us look like chimpanzees with crayons. The exact media of the creativity isn't important, just so long as the nominee's talent makes us feel small and worthless by comparison.

OMG Haxxor
The 5punk award for OMG Haxxor goes to the 5punker who is so good at gaming that they have to be cheating. After all, this is the internet and anybody who is better than us is cheating, while everyone not as good is a noob. Please note, actual cheaters never win. Well, quite often they do but they're only cheating themselves. And us.

Liver Of The Year
The 5punk award for the Liver Of The Year goes to the 5punker who has abused alcohol in the most amusing and public way this year. Generally nominees will have done this in person at a 5punky event, but TS gaffes and drunken ranting are also appliccable. Passing out, spilling red wine down yourself, and touching yourself inappropriately on Grimmie's sofa is just the sort of behaviour this award encourages.

Meat Shield
The 5punk award for Meat Shield is a new award for this year. It is awarded to the 5punker who has been the most doggedly determined at a game despite having no discernable talent at it. Despite their shortcomings, the Meat Shield shows a 'special' enthusiasm in playing their game.

Master Of Rings
The 5punk award for the Master Of Rings is awarded to a 5punker who shows outstanding dedication to pushing their game(s). 5cheduling games, creating interest on the boards, and hassling people over xfire to play. The Master Of Rings keeps their game alive through their enthusiasm, and for such selfless determination recieves an award with a distinctly saucy name.

5punker Of The Year
The Ty AKA Sir Die AloTY award for the 5punker Of The Year goes to the member who has done the most this year to make our site the wonderful place it is. Awarded for general services to our little community, the 5punker of the Year has the gratitude of us all for trying to keep our group together and making 5punk a place for us to enjoy.

[Mr. Johnson]

Belgium would like to nominate the following 5punkers;

Potential Vampire
That's Berk, no question about that.

Talented Bastard
Normally I'd nominate Grimmie like usual, him being the talented shit that he is, but this year I'd like to nominate Stoat, for his handywork with our precious website. Makes me feel small and worthless.

OMG Haxxor
Hmmm... Some people are really damn good at some games 'round 'ere, but I'll go with Berk, as he seems to be good at pretty much every game. That's probably why he's a vampire.

Liver Of The Year
Nothing compares to the wobbly lurrrve for alcohol of Jockgit.

Meat Shield
Not sure if it's allowed, but I nominate myself for this, as I'm crap at every game ever made. except tetris.

Master Of Rings
Baliame, for continuously urging us to stop playing WoW, and play more L4D. (even though I don't play WoW)

5punker Of The Year
Though choice this year, many 5punkers have proven their worth this year (again) But for his insisting peace-keeping skills, and his amazing ability to combine games, child, wife and for not going crazy at work, i nominate Dog Pants.

[Dr. kitteny berk]

Potential Vampire
Probably me.

Talented Bastard
Grimmie

OMG Haxxor
not a 5punker, but Elvis Duck

Liver Of The Year
Pete, he's pissed more than me.

Meat Shield
Mr. Johnson (Specifically his back, in cod 4/5)

Master Of Rings
Sheriff, just so we can make him have that as a custom rank

5punker Of The Year
Pants, still manages to stop me killing people

[Baliame]

Potential Vampire
Berk, without question.

Talented Bastard
Grimmie

OMG Haxxor
Now that's a difficult one... I'll go with Roman "Rock'n'Roll" Duck.

Liver of the Year
Jockgit

Meat Shield
Well.. I think that description fits me, if we think about the CoD games.

Master of Rings
Definitely Slinger or me for Left 4 Dead.

5punker of the Year
Pantsuuuuuuu.

[Dog Pants]

Potential Vampire
Berk's a strong contender, but I reckon he's not the only horse in this race. KV and Hehulk both seem to have something next to their names a lot on xfire, and since KV isn't playing anything as I type this I'll nominate Hehulk, depite his insistance that he's left the house on numerous occasions this year.

Talented Bastard
I've got to go with Grimmie here after his illustrations of Fred's antics.

OMG Haxxor
I've not had a lot of chance to play with you bummers this year, due to Sprog and no decent games, but a little COD:UO reminded me of how much of a bastard the Stoat/KAR98 combination is. And he bummed me at COD4 the other night too.

Liver Of The Year
Again, I've been away from the social events and TS this year so I can only go off the boards. So I'm nominating Hehulk for some spactacular drunken posting on the Disco board.

Meat Shield
I can't actually think of anyone who's out-spazzed me this year, but again I've been away a lot. I'll pass on this one.

Master Of Rings
Looking at the 5cheduler, Baliame has certainly been putting the effort in. Chicken has been spamming me on xfire too so deserves an honourable mention. I'd like to nominate Grimmie as an all rounder on the boards and on the 5cheduler with a good variety of games.

5punker Of The Year
I'd like to nominate Stoat for his continued work on keeping the site running. There's a lot of people who crossed my mind, and I would have liked to nominate someone who wasn't orange, but the fact is that he works away quietly behind the scenes and keeps things running as smoothly as possible.


Whoever I nominate for these, I'd like to thank you all for making 5punk the place that keeps me playing games, as well as containing a lot of people I enjoy talking to. This year's had its share of problems, ranging from shite games, to low intake, to board bitching, but despite it all I love this place and each and every bummer who frequents it. In a purely sexual way, of course.

[Grimmie]

Potential Vampire
Kilavodka, for his shocking Gaming:Foruming ratio this year.
The MMO gods are appeased! You don't have to play WoW any longer today!
Hehulk also, for his incredible ability to drift from EVE to WAR effortlessly, this year.

Talented Bastard
Shada, goddamn him. That boy can draw cats.
If ever I need a cat drawn, I'll call Shada.
He can also do Moogles, I hear.

OMG Haxxor
Nominations go to Gunslinger (for being able to pick up any gun and master it immediately), and Deject (for knowing EVERYTHING about Titan Quest)

Liver of the Year
Berk, for listing left and right uphill at BBIII, and then biting Pete.

[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GfkL5IX7bp0[/media]
Meat Shield
Mr Johnson, for standing back up and charging at the enemy after every single fall, in every single game.
That man shows true, classic Belgian courage*.

Master of Rings
Baliame, for wanting to play everything, all the time.

5punker of the Year
Joose, for somehow spending the ENTIRE YEAR GM'ing Shadowrun.
Also, FatherJack and Spoodie, for keeping me <s>in</s>sane on 5kype, this year.

<small>*May be made up</small>

[Shada]

Potential Vampire
Every time I look at xfire there's at least one of you playing WoW. So I guess it's one of you guys. Probably Berk.

Talented Bastard
Man, I aint never seen a Russian like what Grimmie draws. Also most of the time if I poke him and tell him to draw something he does it, even if he does make cat noses too big :(

OMG Haxxor
Gunslinger's profound ability to both troll/grief people in games while at the same time being near the top of the score board is something to be admired.

Liver Of The Year
You're all alcoholics compared to me. Jockgit, I guess, as he posts drunk sometimes.

Meat Shield
Good ol' Mr. Johnson. He sure loves those bullets.

Master Of Rings
Gunslinger's always the one to poke me when it's time for video games. Baliame gets second place though because BOY DOES HE LOVE DEM SOURCE GAMES.

5punker Of The Year
Seeing as I like mos- I mean all of you, I'm just gonna pick someone at random. IT'S HERECOMESPETE, WELL DONE YOU

[Mr. Johnson]

true, classic Belgian courage.

Beats French courage i suppose.

[Baliame]

BOY DOES HE LOVE DEM SOURCE GAMES.

They're the only decent replayable multiplayer games within a mile, even though Valve has turned into a bunch of cockbadgers lately.

[deject]

Potential Vampire

I have to nominate Berk as he's the only one consistently logged in and not AFK on xfire when I'm on.

Talented Bastard

Grimmie and Shada are great at the pictures, but Stoat fixed all my little problems with the forums this year (new posts button, 5cheduler), so I nom nom nominate him.

OMG Haxxor

Gunslinger

Liver Of The Year

Again has to be Berk, sorry jockgit

Meat Shield

I'd like to nominate all the random Left 4 Dead players on the internet. Holy shit do they all suck balls.

Master Of Rings

Someone not Joose.

5punker Of The Year

I'll go with Doggers.

[Sheriff Fatman]

Potential Vampire
Berk. He isn't human.

Talented Bastard
As a completely untalented bastard, I normally say Grimmie (he deserves a mention for daring to put us up at the Grim-Bash alone), but Toast's constant fettling to the site get my vote, in what has been a tricky year for 5punk, tech-wise.

OMG Haxxor
Slinger, the cupcake.

Liver Of The Year
This used to be a given (for Berk). There are a few more contenders these days though. Pete and Ambles deserve special mention. However, it still has t be Berkles, the man is a pro.

Meat Shield
Pete, for bravely attempting to manage "The Berk Maelstrom" at BB 3

Master Of Rings
Whilst I'm honoured to get a mention; it has to be Bubbles. He plays everything, and his forrin-voiced squeaky enjoyment, and sheer enthusiasm make him a shoe-in for this.

5punker Of The Year
Always the toughest. I don't know what goes into the the day-to-day running of the site (and I dare say it would scare me; were I to know) but I'm voting for Senator Doggers. He's had a very busy year (to say the least.

[Hehulk]

Well nuts to you lot then, I'm no vampire, although I most definatly consume more vodka than I ever use to. 1/3 litre this evening, hardly feel it

Potential Vampire
Berk definatly does put near unholy hours in alot of the time, but that's more a product of lifestyle. Now Fabyak, him who has a proper job and still seems to be up until 2-3am a fair few nights a week gaming, there's a proper candidate

Talented Bastard
Grimmie narf. I still wub my avatar 2 years after he made it, and I can't see it getting old soon.

OMG Haxxor
I remeber people complaining about noobtubing a fair bit a while back, hopefully it was this year, and while I still don't really understand exactly what noobtubing is, apparently Shada was doing it overly well. He get my nomination for that.

Liver Of The Year
Jockgit still isn't dead. That's just disturbing given the way he drinks at bashes so nominating him.

Meat Shield
Honestly, I've no real idea. I know if I play with you guys I do expect to have my ass handed to me in every round but I do so so rarely that nominating myself doesn't seem right. So uh, pass.

Master Of Rings
Gunslinger did/does seem pretty unswervingly dedicated to pushing L4D and trying to get others to play it. He gets my nomination for that

5punker Of The Year
FJ. All I have to say about why is 4am counselling sessions over xfire involving an unbelievably drunken night and some posts I'd prefere to forget

[HereComesPete]

Potential Vampire
KV. His single minded pursuit of the wow crack after declaring himself fully weaned off is admirable in its failure. I thought he was on holiday the last few weeks, he wasn't. It was just that he decided sleep wasn't necessary because he liked the new raids so much.

Talented Bastard
For all round levels of bastardness it's Grimmie. Roman produced some spectacular bits (hur hur) late on in the year, but grimmie really does steadily produce the good stuff.

OMG Haxxor
That utter shit elvis duck. He's always there quacking gleefully in his mancunian accent as he stabs me or shoots me again.

Liver Of The Year
Jock's been quite quiet, I'm steady away on the drink, berk's cut back a bit (not on volume merely abv) hehulk has had a few spacktacular drunken rants on the disco, quite tough this year. Hehulk it is though, raced from nowhere to full blown sick in a shoe, naked in public, pissing on police cars style. Hail fellow drunk I salute you!

Meat Shield
Mr J. Through all the cod4 he was oft the man I sheathed my blade in, but he just re-spawned and tried again. Worryingly he's not bad at all now.

Master Of Rings
Chickenz - I've had a shit few months culminating in singledom. Chickenz took the time to poke me before every game he thought I might want in on when my desire to game or in fact do anything was low. Thank you ya big fat scottish tart.

5punker Of The Year
Toast. Quietly working away at the problems I've had and keeping me updated on any fix. The christmas stuff although short lived and no doubt poking buttans for the new site layout. Doesn't big himself up (much ) and has been un-breaking stuff since the very vinegar strokes of 5punk.

Special mention to doggers - has a kid spawn into the game of life, gets dicked around by the raf, catches the man 'flu and still manages to put the time and effort in on the site.

[tandino]

Potential Vampire
It has to be the man/undead who's always ALWAYS online, regardless of the time. Whilst doing my final uni project there were some very late nights, Mr Berk (no swear felcher here) was always there

Talented Bastard
Mr Stoat, year long contributions to the site as a whole, but the Christmas theme sealed the deal.

OMG Haxxor
I've been a bit shit this year when it comes to playing games (although there has been a lot going on for me), so I don't know exactly who was the best OMG HAXXOR. I'm going to assume Gunslinger

Liver Of The Year
I'd go for Ty, as I've seen the various pictures of him this year. By the gods, I'm glad I'm not his liver. Special mention goes to Hehulk though, for making the effort

Meat Shield
Going on what Mr Johnson said, I'll vote for him. But I Imagine it would've been me, had I actually played anything with you fuckers this year.

Master Of Rings
Has to be Chickenz. When Joint Ops enjoyed a slight resurgence earlier this year, he was first to poke my Xfire to let me know (even though I'd already said I'd be playing, you tenacious fucker). Seriously, you're like cancer.

5punker Of The Year
I'm going to shit out here and say all the admins/mods - seriously, you've all got so much going on yet you still find the time to come here, make things pretty, solve squabbles, pimp games, work on servers. Heroes, big faaabulous heroes the lot of you.

[buzzmong]

Potential Vampire
Pete made a stirling effort while he was unemployed and I fancy pretending it isn't Berk.

Talented Bastard
Toast.

OMG Haxxor
Bubbles with Shada close behind for the CoD schnanigans.

Liver Of The Year
Amblin, he's stealthily been in training all year it's just avoided too much public attention, but there have been a lot of hangover posts.

Meat Shield
Mr Johnson.

Master Of Rings
Bubbles.

5punker Of The Year
Doggers

[MrGreen]

Potential Vampire
Berk.

Talented Bastard
Toast

OMG Haxxor
When he's here, Gunslinger.

Liver Of The Year
Pete, should probably have given him talented bastard for staying alive

Meat Shield
Johnson

Master Of Rings
Baliame

5punker Of The Year
Dog Pants. Somehow his almost maternal presence keeps us in check.

[Dog Pants]

Ooh, I forgot (until now). Shall we have a Game of the Year too? Not a lot to choose from, admittedly. To avoid arguments this time, nominate whatever the hell you want on whatever platform from whatever year.

I'm going to nominate SWAT 4 because it's very 5punky and it helped us through the drought (although I didn't play it).

[Dr. kitteny berk]

GOTY:

I hate to say this, but WoW, it's kept a great deal of us occupied through a particularly hard summer

[Mr. Johnson]

GOTY:

despite the fact that it hasn't been played alot this year, i nominate BEEF, for that special 5punky flavour it has.

[spoodie]

Ooh, I forgot (until now). Shall we have a Game of the Year too? Not a lot to choose from, admittedly.

This has been an excellent year for games. Fallout 3 is GOTY for me. But if you mean games played with other 5punkers only then I guess that's WoW. But didn't people play a lot of CoD4 in the earlier part of this year?