Fantasy Football

nunoncastors · Post by **nunoncastors** » October 21st, 2008, 12:42

Why do my players continue to be shit?

amblin · Post by **amblin** » October 21st, 2008, 12:54

nunoncastors · Post by **nunoncastors** » October 21st, 2008, 13:40

amblin wrote:As Greece proved at the euros, it doesn't matter if the players are shit, if you have good tactics, motivation and play as a team you can beat the best. Of course, all that's down to the manager, so it's not your players that are shit, it's you.

*barracking begins*

In a press release from Gentleman's Relish today, manager nunoncastors has been quoted as saying "amblin wouldn't know management if it bit him on the arse. Therefore, he can get to fuck."

^_^

Fear · Post by **Fear** » October 21st, 2008, 13:51

nunoncastors wrote:<s>bit him on</s> took him up

nunoncastors · Post by **nunoncastors** » October 21st, 2008, 14:07

Roffles.

Post by **fabyak** » October 21st, 2008, 14:30

He frequently doesn't know who takes him up the arse though

*buys more shares in Rohypnol Inc.*

amblin · Post by **amblin** » October 28th, 2008, 14:24

mrbobbins · Post by **mrbobbins** » October 30th, 2008, 9:59

Default Rovers Manager Bobbins issued the following press release this morning:

"You did all remember to make the midweek changes didn't you?!
66 points, la la laaa la laa, I'm not last, I'm not last, I'm not last anymore!"

It ended with

"In your face Dog Pants!"

Post by **Dog Pants** » October 30th, 2008, 10:11

Sporting Kitesy manager Dog Pants was quoted in a press conference, after being questioned about tail-end rivals Defalt Rovers' manager's earlier goading, as saying "We played twice this week? Shit, why does nobody ever tell me anything."

Despite more protests outside the grounds the club's chairman continues to back up Pants, claiming "Nobody plays football like this. He's either a bona-fide genius or a certified whacko".

amblin · Post by **amblin** » October 30th, 2008, 10:36

Anery · Post by **Anery** » October 30th, 2008, 12:26

Latest press release from Athletico Bunnyhoppo's manager Anery.

"I have no idea what you are talking about, who? No I never did anything of the sort? donkey? well some may call me that but how did you know? I refute any such allegations and will ask you to contact my lie-er for further information and denials.
Football? I refer you to my previous statement..."

Post by **FatherJack** » October 30th, 2008, 22:18

Manager Hackett was today quizzed about the secret of his success which has seen the hitherto unknown Throbbing Magentas reach the top of the league. His answer was "consistency, consistency and..I forgot the other one."

When quizzed about his decision to fire Glenn Johnson, who allegedly heard the news from his hosptial bed, he replied "that player was broken, so I got a new one."

When asked the more probing question about whether he actually had any footballing knowledge or managerial ability at all, he began talking in a Scottish accent so that nobody could understand his answer.

Lateralus · Post by **Lateralus** » October 31st, 2008, 8:09

The Manager of the Flanges was today questioned about his decision last gameweek to drop Ronaldo in favour of Lampard. Whilst Lampard scored a goal and got his team 22 points as captain, Ronaldo would have netted 32. However, the manager is a big enough man to admit his mistakes, and has reversed this decision for the coming gameweek. He is quoted as saying:

"For fuck's sake. That's just fucking typical. That twat Ronaldo better have another excellent weekend now."

His plans to free up funds for the purchase of a better striker have now been put on hold.

Lateralus · Post by **Lateralus** » November 17th, 2008, 8:48

108 points! Kiss my face chuddy munsters.

Lateralus · Post by **Lateralus** » November 24th, 2008, 10:05

The Manager of the Flanges today commented on the lack of, erm, comments from his peers. However, he also said "all your points are belong to me", before fleeing the room, cackling like a mad thing.

Post by **Dog Pants** » November 24th, 2008, 10:42

Sporting Kitesy manager Dog Pants released this statement in response:

"Oh yeah, the football thing. I noticed that three of my players were injured, which was severely limiting their game, so I sacked them. This has put us up a couple of places in the league, but now I'm being hit with an industrial tribunal. There's no pleasing some people."

mrbobbins · Post by **mrbobbins** » November 24th, 2008, 11:32

Manager Bobbins of Default Rovers, while lying in a gutter, was overheard mumbling

"23 points?, are you having a laugh?, *hic* how much do I pay you bunch of retards?, no more biscuits for you"

amblin · Post by **amblin** » November 24th, 2008, 11:46

Stoat · Post by **Stoat** » November 24th, 2008, 14:39

Manager Stoat of Drabton United was today unmoved by the team's recent performance. "We've done what we set out to do, which is to achieve middle-of-the-road success. I really have no feelings on the subject one way or the other". The manager was then seen to make a face. Unofficial sources are undecided as to whether this was a smile or a grimace.

Post by **FatherJack** » November 26th, 2008, 13:53

Whoever I put the C next to automatically does not play in the following match. I think it must mean "curse".