Geekfood Mk2.

[Dr. kitteny berk]

Right, after lots of testing, I think I have a decent burger recipe.


1/2lb sirloin steak
1/2lb chuck/blade/stewing steak
large pinch Sea salt

Trim the crap off the meat, chop it into 1/2" lumps and mix it together.

Run it through a food processor or mincer until you get something mincy (takes about 8 seconds on my stick blender's food processor attachment)

Stick the meat in a bowl, throw the salt at it and mix it up well.

Smoosh meat into a ballish thing and divide into 4, roll each bit into a small ball.

Place your balls onto some parchment, then smoosh them until flat and round (probably 1/2" x 4")

Stick patties in a hot pan until cooked, try to leave lots of space (I use a non stick pan and no oil) turn as little as possible.

Omnomnomnom

I like soft buns with mayo, a few drops of sriracha and some thinly sliced onion.

[Dog Pants]

Place your balls onto some parchment, then smoosh them until flat and round

[Dr. kitteny berk]

[Fear]

My burger recipie is:

500g beef mince
1 egg
1 medium onion
1 slice of white bread

Bung it all in the food processor and process it until you're happy with it (a few seconds, 10-20 ish). Don't run it too long else you'll end up with purée. Make burgers with the mix and grill or bbq to taste.

Everyone who munches on my burger swears it is the best they've tasted. It's a proper home-cooked burger taste. Serve with tomato relish on seeded baps.

[Dr. kitteny berk]

Right, after lots of testing, I think I have a decent burger recipe.


1/2lb sirloin steak
1/2lb chuck/blade/stewing steak
large pinch Sea salt

Just tried this again with half an onion finely grated into the mince, seems to add a bit (but does spoil the beefy purity of the original)

[Fear]

Add some pictures please berk - I wanna try it but I wanna know what I'm aiming for size-wise. I like big fat burgers so I'd prolly end up with a beef joint in a bun else.

[Dr. kitteny berk]

err, too drunk for photos. probably 4" dia, 3/4" deep, 1/4lb

but you could happily change it to suit, and if you make the mince yourself, it's safe to eat not cooked to fuckery. (I personally like my burgers at the rare end of medium)

[Dr. kitteny berk]

had munchies, cooked other 2 burgers.

<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kitteny_berk/2595738481/" title="DSCF5509 by Kitteny Berk, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3178/259 ... 69a064.jpg" width="500" height="375" alt="DSCF5509"></a>

<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kitteny_berk/2595737959/" title="DSCF5513 by Kitteny Berk, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3008/259 ... d5670b.jpg" width="500" height="375" alt="DSCF5513"></a>

<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kitteny_berk/2596572474/" title="DSCF5516 by Kitteny Berk, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3204/259 ... caf2f6.jpg" width="500" height="375" alt="DSCF5516"></a>

[Dr. kitteny berk]

omnomnom

Strawberry Ice Cream (no Ice cream maker required)

<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kitteny_berk/2605288888/" title="DSCF5519 by Kitteny Berk, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3164/260 ... d2bd3d.jpg" width="500" height="375" alt="DSCF5519"></a>

Recipe bastardised from

<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kitteny_berk/2604459777/" title="DSCF5523 by Kitteny Berk, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3225/260 ... da17_m.jpg" width="240" height="180" alt="DSCF5523"></a><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kitteny_berk/2604460261/" title="DSCF5524 by Kitteny Berk, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3208/260 ... e6e3_m.jpg" width="240" height="180" alt="DSCF5524"></a>

Used 1pt of cream instead of half

Basically made a strawberry syrup goo (blender, sugar, strain) mixed it into whipped cream, then folded the meringue/syrup base in.

Stuck in suitable tub, whisked a couple of times using an electric whisk (after 4 hours, and again after 2 more)

Left to freeze.

[Dog Pants]

Homer's home made prozac?

[amblin]

.

[Dr. kitteny berk]

anyone got a decent onion ring recipe?

[Killavodka]

1. Use a beer batter made with some <a href="http://www.blacksheepbrewery.com">Real Ale</a>*
2. ..
3. Profit!

Put herbs (I think we use chives at work) plus a healthy amount of salt and pepper into a bowl. Add a good pint of Ale, and then slowly add Self-raising flour until it thickens nicely. Dip in your onion rings and deep fry til golden brown.

*Not an advert for my place of work

[Dr. kitteny berk]

As my parents have fucked off on holiday, I have awesome kitchen to trash for a week

So, have some items of chefwank™ strangely useful things that you really don't need, but make life a bit easier (especially if you're anything like me and maintain a healthy level of drunk)

oh, and they only cost a few quid each, which is fucking awesome.


Squeeze Sauce Bottles - 8 & 36oz good for oil, and other things.

<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kitteny_berk/2638382217/" title="DSCF5543 by Kitteny Berk, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3052/263 ... 0090_m.jpg" width="240" height="237" alt="DSCF5543"></a>

Dough & Bowl scrapers - Good for getting stuff off of boards, and out of bowls

<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kitteny_berk/2638382731/" title="DSCF5538 by Kitteny Berk, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3122/263 ... afe5_m.jpg" width="240" height="173" alt="DSCF5538"></a>

Sifter - Like a shotgun for flour

<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kitteny_berk/2638382405/" title="DSCF5540 by Kitteny Berk, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3157/263 ... 9e9d_m.jpg" width="240" height="189" alt="DSCF5540"></a>

Rubbermaid Containers - Items of +20 holding, I use mine for marinading, holding dough and anything else handy

<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kitteny_berk/2639213200/" title="DSCF5545 by Kitteny Berk, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3049/263 ... fc49_m.jpg" width="240" height="187" alt="DSCF5545"></a>

[tandino]

Tonight I intend to make Roast Pork Tenderloin with apple-onion marmalade for myself and Mrs Tandino. I shall let y'all know how it goes and post my variation of cooking.com's recipe if it's a success. Huzzah!

[Dr. kitteny berk]

ooh, I has a pork fillet about, do tell if good

[Dr. kitteny berk]

Not particularly well tested yet (i've made it twice), just kinda meant to be a basic relish.

very much a matter of wing it and adjust to your tastes though, and post suggestions


Burger Relish.

Stuff:

1 Small Onion
red pepper (about half as much as you have onion)
tomatoes (about the same amount as red pepper)
Garlic

all chopped finely.

1 slosh vodka
1 slosh Soy/teryaki sauce
1 slosh worcester sauce
1 long squeeze honey
1 slosh red wine vinegar
1tbl sweet chili sauce
sugar

fry onion & garlic in oil until browning a bit

Add pepper and tomatoes, cook down a bit.

Add vodka and boil off (other booze would work too, but i had vodka to hand)

Add Soy, Honey, Vinegar and Worcester sauce, stir a bit.

Add sweet chilli sauce to taste.

Add sugar until you get the sweetness right.

boil until thick.


add to meat.


omnomnom

[tandino]

Right ho, as promised my adapted recipe for roast pork tenderloin with apple & onion marmalade. Turned out fucking gorgeously, I recommend it highly. Seriously, try this.

Partially plagiarised from cooking.com, altered by me in preparation:

INGREDIENTS

3 tablespoons plus 1/4 cup olive oil
1 white onion, thinly sliced
1/3 cup balsamic vinegar
1/2 cup water
Salt and freshly ground pepper
2 pork tenderloins, about 3/4 lb each
2 fresh thyme sprigs
2 tablespoons unsalted butter
1 small green apple, peeled, cored and cut into 1/2-inch cubes
1 cup veal stock or chicken stock

METHOD

In a sauté pan over medium heat, warm the 3 tablespoons olive oil. Add the onion and sauté until golden brown, about 5 minutes. Add the balsamic vinegar, water and salt and pepper to taste and cook until the liquid has evaporated and the onions are very soft, about 25 minutes. Set aside.

Preheat oven to 450 degrees F/200 degrees C (Gas mark 6).

Rub salt and pepper to taste on all sides of the tenderloins. Place them in a roasting pan. Pour the 1/4 cup (2 fl oz/60 ml) olive oil over the top. Place 1 thyme sprig on each tenderloin.

Place the pan in the oven and roast the pork for 10 minutes. Turn the pork over and roast until firm and pale pink in the middle when cut with a knife, about 10 minutes longer.

While the pork is cooking, in a large sauté pan over medium heat, melt the butter. Add the apple and sauté until slightly soft and caramelized, 3-5 minutes. Add the onion marmalade mixture to the pan and continue to sauté until the flavours have blended, 2-3 minutes longer.

Add the stock to the pan and bring to a boil. Immediately remove from the heat and cover to keep warm.

When the pork is done, transfer it to a cutting board, cover with aluminium foil and let rest for 5 minutes. Then, using a sharp knife, cut the pork tenderloins into slices 1/2-inch (12 mm) thick. Arrange the pork slices on a warmed serving platter.

Spoon the warm marmalade mixture over the pork. Sprinkle with the parsley and serve immediately.

CONCLUSION

As stated, it was really very good. I will cook it again, but when I do I'll add less salt. I thought the Balsamic vinegar would make it overly sweet, so added extra salt to compensate - I should've left it alone. The smells as you're cooking it are amazing, be sure to drink them in.

I roasted the pork until it was white throughout, rather than pink in the middle (as per Mrs Tandino's request) but I think it was much nicer.

Also, I possess no sauté pan, so I did it in a fairly deep frying pan - although this could be the same thing... I used an oxo chicken cube for the stock.

Once again, if you can be arsed to cook this, do so. You won't be disappointed.

[Edit] to add that it might be worth splashing a few drops of red wine into the Onion stage of the marmalade, I think it might enhance it a wee bit.

[Dr. kitteny berk]

I shall attempt that tomorrow.

[Dr. kitteny berk]

Right ho, as promised my adapted recipe for roast pork tenderloin with apple & onion marmalade

I just tried this, turned out pretty good.

I'd suggest browning the meat in a pan first, makes nice flavours.

I must say I prefer the pork tenderloin with port and onion stuff recipe (I think it's in here already) but that might be because i has no sense of smell, so the stonger, less subtle flavours are more pleasant to me.