Revision as of 03:21, 26 April 2009

Reviews V to Z

Valkyrie Profile 2 - PS2

Eye-wateringly beautiful. Eye-watering for three reasons: 1. The PS2 can't really cope and pixels out all the while. 2. You can't walk properly around the lovely towns, only press left or right like you're on some kind of carousel of pretty backgroundness. 3. The combat is some weird hybrid of turn-based and action that the tutorial completely fails to explain comprehensibly. In short, another Unlimited Saga, Square-Enix foist off all their rejected FF ideas onto a previously successful franchise and hope that twats like me buy it regardless. Job done, SE, job done. Another waste of lovely design.

FatherJack

Wii Sports - Wii

Wii Hardware While this scarcely needs an introduction, here a few points about the hardware itself, that I hadn't picked up from the prerelease chat.

It's quite small. It looks rather like a white external CD drive, and only looks remarkable when mounted on its stand. The stand has a transparent circular attachment which keeps it pretty stable, although you only really need to go anywhere near it when changing CDs. It has little doors which open to reveal an SD card slot, four GameCube controller ports (!) and two GC memory card slots. It has phono+scart connectors and the magic sensor thingy. The sensor has a generous amount of rather delicate-looking cable, and sits either above or below the centre of your TV - tiny stand and extra stickies provided.

The controllers are equally smaller than I expected, and the length of cable between the mote and the chuk, while less than my full armspan, has not been a problem so far gameplay-wise. Changing between mote-only and chuk config is fiddly (and necessary when you switch games) if you connect the strap how they say, infact even passing the mote to another player is harder than it need be. Ideally the straps would have been quickly disconnectable from the mote, with spare straps provided.

Setup's fairly simple, even typing by pointing the mote at the letters was easier than I expected, plus there's an on-screen phone-like TXT pad available which is probably a clever move. Internet setup is easy if you router's setup is standard and your neighbourhood isn't wireless-infested, but their servers are very busy.

Wii Sports A collection of five games, with training modes and some basic games. Sometimes the training modes are more fun than the actual games, and there is very little depth beyond the standard game-types.

Bowling Perhaps the most sedate-seeming of the games, but I actually managed to split my jeans playing it today. Fortunately I was saved any embarrassment as everyone just assumed I had blown off.

This is the only one in my experience that you pretty much have to stand up for. Standard game is ten frames of normal-rules bowling, spin seems to be a bit difficult to get right, becoming easier as you approach the screen. The training is way more enjoyable - with barriers to spin around and up to 100 pins to knock down at once - where else can you do that?

Up to four players can swap a single mote to play.

Golf Another supposedly-restful sport, this one really gets you carried away. While it is possible to play seated, and kind of flick the controller from over your shoulder as if fishing - it's much more fun to pretend it's a real golf club. It's the best of the games, so it's a real shame there's only a single nine-hole course. Doing short hits can be a bit problematic at times, there are no options for vertical ball control, and landing off the fairway can be catastrophic. It's great fun, but really just leaves you wanting a "proper" golf release on the system.

Up to four players can swap a single mote to play, although there is a lot of swapping to be done. Also, check you are not underneath the lights - it's an easy one to get caught up in.

Baseball This is a nice bit of exercise, but possibly harder standing up. When batting, the timing is hard to get right, and the aim a little erractic. It seems the timing's more important than the direction, as you can play seated and swing to the side. Pitching's a bit random too - you can control direction and speed a bit, but not with any consistent effect on CPU batters. You sometimes annoyingly swing when repositioning the mote, missing critical shots.

You need a mote per player for this one. Also the pitching action is the most likely to see your mote flying towards the screen if it's not strapped on.

Tennis Bit lost with this one. While actually hitting the ball is quite a natural, satisfying action, subsequently directing it is a bit random. Playing standing helps, as underarm motions seem to be more directable than the smash or volley-height strokes possible when seated. As with baseball, it's easy to miss-swing when readying - thus missing your stroke.

Multiple players need a mote each. Important to stand still, despite the sluggishness of your character's running.

Boxing Easily the most knackering, but that's mostly (perhaps realistically) because most of your blows seem to go wasted. Haven't quite got the hang of dodging, and the sparring training ended with a punch I found impossible to throw, no matter where I aimed. Probably only included because it needs the chuk, it's a rather poor game. A shame, as I thought it had a lot of promise, but any dreams of pummelling your opponent with a windmill flurry of blows are quickly shattered - this particular game doesn't reward quick, repeated movements, only "well-timed" ones.

Multiple players need a mote AND chuk each, which isn't currently worth the expenditure in my view - also, the facing player has a horrible perspective to play from.

Sights and Sounds Graphics aren't what this system's about, and certainly aren't the focus of this game - they're...okay. It's quite hard to see the flags in Golf, otherwise not noticeably good or bad - your extra Mii's make appearances in your Baseball squad, which is kind of cute. The little sounds from the mote really add to the feeling of personal involvement.

Stuff that sucks You're never quite sure if you're doing stuff...correctly. Some actions seem a bit random, as things like slow putts in Golf just don't seem to register. The system does have it's limitations in the motion it can detect, and it can frustrate if your on-screen persona isn't doing exactly what you are. It's more a question of training yourself to move as the game expects, rather than getting too carried away with the perceived realism. I've actually played all these sports in real life, and it's hard to shake some habits, particularly leg and head movements, which of course aren't registered by the game.

Conclusion A very entertaining get-everyone-playing introduction to the system, well worth the price of admission, disappointing in some areas, but leaving hunger for more in others. While the system shows massive potential, this game on it's own, while hugely enjoyable, isn't the best this system is capable of.

Score : 7.5/10

FatherJack

The Witcher - PC

Introduction

First things first, plot: it's a bit hackneyed (After dying 5 years ago then coming back to life somehow(this is explained later apparently), the protagonist has lost his memory). Look past this though and you'll see there has been a decent amount of thought put into it. Your character, (Geralt, or the "White Wolf" (possibly...)) is a mutated human, given extraordinary abilities after going through a series of trials when he was a wee bairn. Unfortunately, he cannae remember all his spells and moves initially, but a fairly thorough tutorial refreshes his memory in the short term, the rest is picked up along the way in the shape of story abilities (elements of your skill tree only learnt through NPCs you've completed quests for).

Characters & Consequences

The main characters' development is pretty solid, I'm actually caring about the plot characters and the choices I make that affect them. There are some less than interesting characters though, like Leo. Also, there are some horrible Americanisms like FJ said, but they can be ignored. I was going to say it'd be nice to have some kind of feedback from your personal choices (similar to NWN "your alignment has shifted one point towards XXX") but thinking about it, I'd rather have the surprises which I'm sure come later on in the game as a direct result of your choices.

Sights & Sounds

It sounds and looks incredible, especially in OTS (over the shoulder) mode sometimes it's hard to believe it's the same engine as NWN, given that it runs so much better than NWN 2 on my (not humble) machine.

I always wondered what it'd sound like to slice a Ghoul's head from its body, now I know. Voice acting is pretty damn good in parts, terrible in others but by no means game breaking.

Gameplay

Your attacks consist of sword and spell (or sign), The first 'sign' (telekinesis) feels 'meaty' and lots of fun to use and there's a lot of fun to be had with slicing the heads off enemies you've stunned or knocked down with your TK ability.

There's a very thorough skill tree for all your combat styles and signs (magic spells) and as usual, advancements come with levelling up and meditating, similar to Oblivion's rest system. It could easily have become bloated with all the dicking around with talent points, but they've avoided this well.

Worth noting too is the alchemy system, it becomes more indispensable depending on your difficulty setting and the potions are pretty good. Also I'm loving the Glossary/Bestiary sections of the journal, lots of background involved for added immersion.

It has apparently got its fair share of bugs (though I've not encountered any serious ones yet), but the devs seem keen to continue to support it, and the first patch has already been released (get it here).

On the whole, combat feels very good (a little 'consoley' but sometimes and with some games this is by no means a bad thing - The Withcer is one of these games). At times, the controls can feel a little sluggish, but I'm not sure if that's just me getting used to the combo/timing combat style. There are a few different control methods though, to suit the individual player's style. The game has clearly been developed with all 3 camera modes in mind, as it looks and works with each one well.

Conclusions

In conclusion, The Witcher has a very strong storyline (so far), it's dark, engaging and witty at times. It looks and sounds really good, and has a nice 'chunky' feel to it (twss). There are some good in game features, like dice poker (lots of fun, very addictive), fist fighting (good when pissed), drinking competitions (good when you get info out of someone for out drinking them) and the ability to get ladies into bed (just the one so far, Merigold) with just a wink and a flick of your wolf white hair. It has it's foibles, like the slight bugs and slight fail in voice acting at times, as well as the Americanisms. I say the controls are sluggish, but they don;t feel that way when you've landed a five hit combo on a bunch of drowners (not downers, read carefully).

In short, fans of a good, deep story, coupled with a nice bit of hound slaying/priest decapitating (I'm gonna pay for that one, I just know it) action will enjoy this. A cross between Oblivion and the Neverwinter Nights/Baldur's gate series.

Score : 8/10

Tandino

World of Warcraft - PC

Any gamer who doesnt know what World of Warcraft is needs to see a brain doctor. Just in case, its the MMORPG version of the classic RTS Warcraft. Two sides split into several races, all with a classic fantasy theme (elves, orcs etc). Pretty damn big, and undoubtably the most successful MMO out there (financially at least).

Graphics They went for a cartoon feel with this, and it works well. Beginning to get a little long in the tooth (no fancy bump-mapping or anything like that) but that just means you can now set most of the options way high, and see the lovely design in crispy-clear-o-vision. Looks stylistically the same as the RTS, just bigger. Works well, if you ask me, but its very much a personal taste thing.

Good bits Easy to get into, you can dabble with it a bit more than EVE, severs are always busy so theres plenty of randoms to team up with if you so wish. Although it does nothing new, as such, what it does do it does very well. The balencing of things like leveling up to time spent playing seems right, the quests etc are not too hard but not too easy. Dancing animations.

Bad Bits The servers are always *very* busy, so it can sometimes be a chore to find one that isnt groaning under the strain. Due to its popularity, theres a hell of a lot of annoying bastards whinging on the open channels, even by MMO standards (although that can always be fixed by just not watching the local channels.) There really is nothing new in there, so if you're bored of the fantasy thing, look elsewhere.

Score : 8/10

Joose

As most of you have noticed, and to surprisingly little derision, I have been playing the World of Warcraft trial this week. I've got a 10 day trial with three days left, but now seems like a good time to file my report. You'll have to excuse me for comparing it to CoH, as it's the only real source of comparison (I could compare to Eve, but they're far too different and it wouldn't be constructive).

Now, as a 5punker I have always had a deep mistrust of this game. Rumour has it that it is populated by leetspeaking smacktards that make the game virtually unplayable, and that it'll steal your wife and job (and probably soul). So I went into this with a little apprehension and, I have to admit, a little excitement - millions of people can't be wrong, after all.

Before I make mention of the game itself I want to address the technical issues. It took about 13 hours to download the 3.16Gb client via the torrent-like download exe. I did try an alternative from a direct download, but upon running the download exe to catch any missing files it fucked it up. So the first day of my trial was spent downloading. As with CoH I found that I'd downloaded the wrong version of the client - I had US, I wanted EU. Not too big a deal though - just create a new trial account on the EU server and adjust the config file to connect to Europe. All well and good, apart from now I have to fiddle that file every time there's an update, which is every other day (at about 2.5Mb too). On the good side, I've yet to see a lot of lag.

So the game then. I'm used to creating colourful, individual characters in CoH. In World of Warcraft there's not much scope for individuality. I have to say that even the higher level bods I've seen knocking about only seem distinguishable by their pets and mounts (especially the guy with the big white gorilla Smile). It might be possible to dye your outfits so that you can stand out, but neither me nor Joose have worked out how yet. Outside of your character though, and the world is very detailed and colourful. Locations vary to the point of being able to instantly recognise where you are by the landmarks and terrain. The world is absolutely vast too - I've covered one area, of which there are probably about ten just on the Horde continent, and it's taken me all week. Populating this vast lansdcape are a healthy scattering of flora and fauna, some of which are hostile, someof which aren't. There's usually about three or four different types of beasties in any given location. The towns and cities too are busy both with players and NPCs - occasionally too busy in the big cities when you can't find a shop or trainer you want.

So it looks nice. Gameplay mostly involves completing quests, of which there are many. The variety isn't bad either. Quite a few are "Go and kill X amount of this type of thing", but these are infrequent enough to be quite refreshingly freeform against the "Go here and do this" type, which are nicely varied in their implementation. The rewards for quests are quite nice - often one of a selection of nifty bits of kit, and it has a Diablo style upgrade system. Not quite as compelling as Diablo (no "Holy crap that's a good sword" moments as yet), but it's nice to find something unusual. Aside from grinding missions there's the crafting side of things to spur you out into the world. Crafting seems to work very well - there's quite a bit of variety in what you can do, and you can select two professions so you can compliment your resource gathering with your construction skills. It seems as though you can create gear that will be useful to yourself at the level you are, so you get a little satisfaction out of wearing your own armour or drinking your own potions. Selling your goods to NPCs seems to result in a loss though compared to selling the raw materials.

Finally, other people. I was surprised when I logged on for the first time and wasn't immediately called a noob. Since then I've been surprised at the lack of idiots I've seen. Sure there have been some - people constantly spamming me with duel requests being the worst - but for the most part interacting with people has been okay. I haven't teamed up yet - without TS I find it restrictive so I avoid randoms, but when refusing an invitation I'm often asked why and am generally thanked for explaining my reasons. PvP interaction is interesting. There's the aforementioned duels, which is an arranged fight until one player is down to low health. You don't die from it, and if someone challenges you you can bet they're about ten levels higher. Then there's the raids where Alliance players will arrive and wreak havoc. These work very well - I seem to be ignored (I'm not sure if they can attack me for some reason), but they raid towns and kill the NPCs and any PCs looking for a scrap. Generally they're jumped on by high level players and sent packing (there's an automated channel dedicated to telling you which town is under PvP attack), but I've also seen a group conducting guerilla raids for hours to quite good effect. I never felt like this was griefing because I was always left alone, but they were menacing enough to make me reconsider my route. There's also a PvP arena, but I've not tried this.

I have two issues with the game though. The first is the team system. From what I've seen of it it's very inflexible. It pales in comparison to the extremely good sidekick and team mission system CoH has. I may be wrong, but I'm getting the impression that if I want to play with friends I'd better be of a similar level to them. This bothers me a lot, and if I'm stuck soloing because I'm going too fast or too slow compared to my friends then I can't see me sticking at the game. Which leads me to my other point, which is that there are only a couple of 5punkers play it. Any game is made far better by playing it with friends over TS, and this may never happen with this one. I know that most 5punkers either have already played it a lot and don't want to any more, or see so much stigma attached that they'll never try it. From the reaction I've had I think it's mostly the former - I've only had a gently ribbing rather than "He's one of them! Shun hiiiiim!".

Good points

Beautiful, detailed environment

Interesting quests

Good progression

Useful and accessible crafting

PvP Raid system

Death isn't a big problem

Bad points

Bastard to download (especially if you're a biff like me)

Poor team system

Lack of 5punkers

Not much depth (compared to Eve)

Lack of individuality

In conclusion, I'd say I was misled. I'm enjoying soloing my way around the game at the moment. I can pick it up and play for ten minutes, or for twelve hours, whichever I want. Has potential for CoH silliness, but doesn't have the individuality or the 5punky following.

Dog Pants

World of Warcraft: Burning Crusade - PC

Yup i managed to drag myself away from the game that we all know is gaming herion. The two new starting locations are both very different from the previous ones, there are many new quests and interesting story lines. But not nearly enough change in them, it is still very much a "Go to X kill X return to me with Y" or "Kill X ammount of Y's". That being said there was two or three that raised a chuckle, like dressing up as a tree to ease drop on a gnome and goblin. The 60+ Content is to me Same shit different day. The only difference being that there is now a flying mount for you to spend 14 hours a day grinding money to purchase and 10 new levels and 10 new levels worth of gear to replace the old stuff that you spent about a year online to get. But as much as i want to hate this game, there is we all know somthing about World of Warcraft that draws you in, the visuals are as they always were, breath taking. Both of the new races are very well crafted and the /silly emotes are at times funny. As with all MMORPG's its the community that makes the game, and as 5 + million people play this game that also means that 4.99 million are complete wankers. Full use of the /ignore function and its bearable. I reackon as with any game 5punkers play if people on 5punk got a group together we'd all have a laugh, then again we would do that with Uno.

Score : 7/10

Mikkyo

Worms 2 Open Warfare - Nintendo DS

Introduction

This is the latest iteration of the long-running Worms series that started with a competition in Amiga Power (IIRC). Players control a team of invertibrates who lob a variety of conventional and not-so-conventional weapons at each other across a deformable sideways-on 2D map, much like Tanx, Gorillas, ar any other artillery game.

Gameplay

This version of Worms goes back to its roots on the DS after several full 3D outings on other platforms. As the name suggests, it plays much more like Worms 2 than any of the later games, although it feels a little bit lightweight compared to the originals. To compensate for this there's allsorts of DS goodness poured in, mostly in the form of mini challenge games.

The standard campaign is a standard linear battle through the various map styles, against increasingly difficult opponents. The difficulty curve is quite well gauged, and even though the CPU worms are unnervingly accurate you can usually outwit them. Progression brings reward points that can be spent on customising your team's look and sound, or on extra levels and resources with which to create your own.

The challenge games are rather interesting, possibly more so than the campaign. Split into categories of type, some involve effective use of the DS's unique controls, such as blowing your worm around on a parachute or drawing platforms for him with your stylus. They're all quite good and there's plenty of them.

Sights and Sounds

The game is colourful and cartoony, and makes the most of the DS's limited capacity. There are typically silly cutscenes too that can be amusing. Sound follows the same format, with loads of different voices for your wriggly troops.

Stuff that sucks

As a single player game it eventually gets a bit repetitive. The puzzles add a good few hours longetivity, but ultimately once you've done them and got fed up of the campaign you'll not find much reason to go back. Multiplayer over a wireless connection should be fun, although I've not tried it, and another DS owner can link up and play off your cartridge without having to own one themselves.

Conclusion

Back to the good old days, when worms were worms. Slightly lighter feeling than the originals, but with some nice additions for the platform. Possibly a bit too short.

Score : 7/10

Dog Pants

Zelda - A link to the Past - SNES

Only one of the most awesome games evar. That's all I'm saying on the matter.

Buzzmong