Chickens Fun Day
Posted: July 6th, 2007, 16:50
Just taken part in an exercise here at RAF Lossiemouth. Tornado hit a Puma, both crashed (Tornado into the sea and the puma onto camp). A big fake crash to test everyones responses.
Was a helpful witness at first showing the emergency services where to go but was then told to pretend to be a civilian souvenir hunter, photographer and general trespassing annoyance. I got 'caught' by a RAF Policeman taking pictures of the 'crashed puma' (It was really a Fire Trainer, a big fake tornado/helicopter that they can set on fire). He escorted me to a holding area near to where the injured were being treated. Huzzah thought I as I spotted an aircrew helmet on the floor. Robbed that, put it on my head and ran off giggling up a hill. I got spotted by another copper who told me to standstill, so naturally I ran off like a Berk giggling. Hid in some bushes as she ran past, waited five minutes before strolling down the road towards everyone. Station photographer was there taking pictures of me strolling down the road waving at him, woman copper spotted me and told me to stop. This time I did so she comes up and says:
''Sir please remove the helmet as it belongs to her Majesty's Government and is required in an ongoing investigation''
To which I replied with:
''Sod off love, I'm putting it on Ebay - I found it fair and square''
Another two coppers come up to me, one civilian and one RAF. RAF copper asks me the same question and gets the same answer as before. At this point civilian copper says:
''Sir, I will ask you only once!! Remove the helmet or I will place you under arrest''
So he gets a ''Fuck off, I'm keeping it'' from me.
Thats it he shouts, ''Sir I am placing you under arrest for a breach of the peace''
To which I rather boldly shouted ''FUCKING COME ON THEN''
Civilian copper grabs my left arm and has the cuffs on rather quickly. He then tried to lever me down by forcing the cuffs round and up towards my shoulder forcing my body to go backwards. I felt this happening so I quickly hoofed my left arm up as hard as I could dumping the copper on his arse. By this point lady copper has her arms round my shoulder trying to restrain my arms. Spun 90 degress quickly to shake her off before turning my attention towards the copper holding my right arm. Start throwing him around to try and shake him off before spotting his leg trying to trip me up. I quickly whipped my leg round and got mine behind his and threw him back onto the floor.
Stood there for a few seconds before civilian copper says right, thats enough it's only a pretend exercise.
''No hard feelings then?'' says I
''Nah we were just expecting you to turn around and get cuffed''
''Pfft makes your job more interesting''
Que much laughing from everyone watching. Turns out the photographer was taking pictures of the whole thing, so hopefully next week I'll be able to show you the piccies.
Chicken vs three coppers = Chicken wins!!!
Edit for spelling and punctuation
Was a helpful witness at first showing the emergency services where to go but was then told to pretend to be a civilian souvenir hunter, photographer and general trespassing annoyance. I got 'caught' by a RAF Policeman taking pictures of the 'crashed puma' (It was really a Fire Trainer, a big fake tornado/helicopter that they can set on fire). He escorted me to a holding area near to where the injured were being treated. Huzzah thought I as I spotted an aircrew helmet on the floor. Robbed that, put it on my head and ran off giggling up a hill. I got spotted by another copper who told me to standstill, so naturally I ran off like a Berk giggling. Hid in some bushes as she ran past, waited five minutes before strolling down the road towards everyone. Station photographer was there taking pictures of me strolling down the road waving at him, woman copper spotted me and told me to stop. This time I did so she comes up and says:
''Sir please remove the helmet as it belongs to her Majesty's Government and is required in an ongoing investigation''
To which I replied with:
''Sod off love, I'm putting it on Ebay - I found it fair and square''
Another two coppers come up to me, one civilian and one RAF. RAF copper asks me the same question and gets the same answer as before. At this point civilian copper says:
''Sir, I will ask you only once!! Remove the helmet or I will place you under arrest''
So he gets a ''Fuck off, I'm keeping it'' from me.
Thats it he shouts, ''Sir I am placing you under arrest for a breach of the peace''
To which I rather boldly shouted ''FUCKING COME ON THEN''
Civilian copper grabs my left arm and has the cuffs on rather quickly. He then tried to lever me down by forcing the cuffs round and up towards my shoulder forcing my body to go backwards. I felt this happening so I quickly hoofed my left arm up as hard as I could dumping the copper on his arse. By this point lady copper has her arms round my shoulder trying to restrain my arms. Spun 90 degress quickly to shake her off before turning my attention towards the copper holding my right arm. Start throwing him around to try and shake him off before spotting his leg trying to trip me up. I quickly whipped my leg round and got mine behind his and threw him back onto the floor.
Stood there for a few seconds before civilian copper says right, thats enough it's only a pretend exercise.
''No hard feelings then?'' says I
''Nah we were just expecting you to turn around and get cuffed''
''Pfft makes your job more interesting''
Que much laughing from everyone watching. Turns out the photographer was taking pictures of the whole thing, so hopefully next week I'll be able to show you the piccies.
Chicken vs three coppers = Chicken wins!!!
Edit for spelling and punctuation
this!