5punk Awards 2013
Posted: January 8th, 2014, 22:40
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the annual 5punk awards 2013. Every year we nominate each other for ridiculous awards in order to reminisce about our antics of the year and remind ourselves of what it means to be a 5punker. As always, any award can be considered a kudos of sorts, but they are no means exclusive. While the awards may be given to individuals, we all contribute to making 5punk more than a website, we are a community. Gaming may be the common interest among us, but closeness of the group is build on genuine friendship. Every year 5punkers have helped and supported each other in real life, met each other at their homes and in public (the horror), and even travelled abroad to gather. This year, October to be precise, will be the 10th anniversary of 5punk. I won't go into the highs and lows of the last decade, we can save that for the birthday itself, but the fact that we have survived for so long is a testament to 5punkiness. The embodiment of a friendly, light hearted and fun place. Well done one and all, but now lets congratulate our winners.
Single Player Game of the Year
Being a gaming community at heart, games are a large part of our culture. Single player games are typically lauded for their story and set-pieces, and get us talking on the forums about the experiences. We had a number of great games nominated this year, including a few console titles, but the winner was one which was enjoyed by a large majority of our members. The 5punk Single Player Game of the Year award goes to:
Bioshock Infinite
Multiplayer Game of the Year
The Multiplayer Game of the Year is an important category, because multiplayer gaming is the the thing which brings us together at the most basic level. We enjoy playing them together, we talk about them, and they generate some of our greatest memes. This year brings us a relatively narrow shortlist with a varied selection, but one game has dominated the voting. That isn't surprising - I think we have played this game every weekend this year, although not to the exclusion of other games. The 5punk Multiplayer Game of the Year is:
Dota 2
Most Anticipated Game of the Year
This is new category, but it represents what we could be voting for next year. Our tastes in gaming are varied and nebulous, and we need a constant flow of new ones or else we become stagnant. There were so many nominees for this award that I ran out of poll options during voting, and the category winner was a combination of two elements of the same game which will be released separately. This might have skewed the results slightly, but I think we're all looking forward to a refreshing and high quality diversion from what had become a rather routine release schedule up until the last few years. The 5punk Most Anticipated Game of the Year is:
Star Citizen / Squadron 42
Game of the Year
The Game of the Year differs slightly from the other game categories in that it isn't based on quality or general popularity, rather on how much fun it gave us. Due to the way we play games and our emphasis on silly fun over competitive play and fairness, we quite often choose games which are buggy, broken, or just ridiculous. There were only two nominations this year. One falls firmly into the category of being so bad it was good, the other was deliberately silly to begin with and then made even more so with mutators. The latter won out for longer lasting appeal. The 5punk Game of the Year 2013 is:
Chivalry: Medieval Warfare
Funny cupcake
The Funny cupcake award is presented to the 5punker who has consistently amused us, deliberately or otherwise, throughout the year. The medium varies - forum, Teamspeak, games, or in person - but typically our Funny cupcake will cause laughter in all of them. The award is important because a sense of humour underlines everything the group is: light, well meaning and fun. The 5punk award for the Funny cupcake of 2013 is:
Roman Totale
Talented Bastard
5punkers are typically a modest lot, and being lauded for their creative skills isn't something many will strive for particularly. We need content though to drive us, be it amusing images, beardy tabletop adventures, topical writing, or Lets Play videos. The Talented Bastard not only amuses us, but keeps people coming back to the site and makes it attractive to new members. As modest as we are, our creativity is worth celebrating. The 5punk Talented Bastard award for 2013 goes to:
Dog Pants
Meat Shield
The Meat Shield award is given to the 5punker who has embodied the very 5punky quality of being shit. It may sound like an unenviable plaudit, but it celebrates some of the 5punkiest qualities - playing for fun rather than results, not taking ourselves seriously. The award is being considered for retirement this year as it has been almost a one-horse race for a while now, but it is rather highly thought of and the multiple time winner (with this year being no exception) requested that it be retained so that he can win something. The 5punk Meat Shield for 2013 is:
Pnut
Master of Rings
This award is presented to the 5punker who has been the most active in drumming up activity and encouraging new members. People are the life-blood of the community, and as natural attrition slowly drains us of members we need to make sure that others find us. Similarly, and particularly since 5punkers are a notoriously ill-organised lot, we benefit from a few people who are prepared to put in some effort to promote activity, be it weekend gaming or bashes. The nominees were all strong contenders for different reasons, but the winner stood out for his relentless recruiting. The Master of Rings 2013 is:
HereComesPete
OMG Haxxor
While we savour a lack of serious competitiveness and draw a lot of amusement from being bad at games, we must also recognise that 5punkers are capable of showing surprising skill and coordination when the need takes us. Historically we have been able to prove our gaming mettle against outsiders when our antics have been mistaken for stupidity, and having a handful of good players in any given game benefits us all for when we do want to play properly. This year it has been particularly important due to the prominence of our MP Game of the Year, which is a complex animal that does require skill to enjoy. That can be seen in its strong influence in nominations, and in its landslide winner. We can only assume, as he wins this award, that he is cheating. The OMG Haxxor award for 2013 goes to:
Shot2Bits
Vampire of the Year
The Vampire award is given to the 5punker who has been deemed to spend the most nocturnal activity playing games and hanging about when the rest of us are asleep in bed. Once it was a well contested award, and a way to gently rib our MMONG playing members. More recently it has become less diverse and indicates more of someone we're jealous of as we mature because they get more gaming time than we do. As such the award may be retired for next year. Even so, this year's winner has won by a flood of votes because he is known to arrive in games at ungodly hours and play competently while the rest of us are drunk and falling asleep. Mainly because he works night shifts. The Vampire of the Year award for 2013 goes to:
Anery
Liver of the Year
The Liver award is more prestigious than it sounds. Most 5punkers enjoy a few drinks, and quite a few of our cultural linchpins have stemmed from silly drunken activity. While we of course wouldn't encourage irresponsible drinking in any member except Berk, all of our Liver winners have proven to be highly amusing when drunk. This year's winner had some firm competition, but the race was a marathon rather than a sprint and our recipient has certainly put in the distance this year with almost weekly post-pub appearances. The Liver of the Year award for 2013 goes to:
Pnut
5punker of the Year
The 5punker of the Year is the final award. It is a vessel for 5punkers to celebrate the member who they feel has contributed the most to the general wellbeing of the community. It incorporates many aspects of the other awards, but most of all it embodies the propagation of our attitude, the qualities we call 5punkiness. As was stated during the introduction, we pride ourselves on being friendly and inclusive, puerile and easy going. This year has seen a great set of nominations recognising the activity of people who love the site and who, consciously or otherwise, strive to promote 5punkiness. There was almost a nomination for the whole site membership too, as there has been once before. It escaped the polls on semantics, but had it not it would surely have won. The reason for this is that no one person can lay claim to the success of our group. We all contribute to the forums being a place where we talk about subjects from the silliest to the most serious. We confide in each other as real friends. We gather as groups regularly and look forward to our interactions. This is more than just a gaming community, more than just a kickaround in the park, this is our escape and our comfort, our digital local, and every one of us contributes to that in a significant way. However, the award exists and there must be a winner. The 5punker of the Year 2013 is:
Dog Pants
Thanks guys. I have a salty tear in my favourite eye. Cheques are in the post.
Special thanks again to Grimmie for the beautiful award images.
Single Player Game of the Year
Being a gaming community at heart, games are a large part of our culture. Single player games are typically lauded for their story and set-pieces, and get us talking on the forums about the experiences. We had a number of great games nominated this year, including a few console titles, but the winner was one which was enjoyed by a large majority of our members. The 5punk Single Player Game of the Year award goes to:
Bioshock Infinite
Multiplayer Game of the Year
The Multiplayer Game of the Year is an important category, because multiplayer gaming is the the thing which brings us together at the most basic level. We enjoy playing them together, we talk about them, and they generate some of our greatest memes. This year brings us a relatively narrow shortlist with a varied selection, but one game has dominated the voting. That isn't surprising - I think we have played this game every weekend this year, although not to the exclusion of other games. The 5punk Multiplayer Game of the Year is:
Dota 2
Most Anticipated Game of the Year
This is new category, but it represents what we could be voting for next year. Our tastes in gaming are varied and nebulous, and we need a constant flow of new ones or else we become stagnant. There were so many nominees for this award that I ran out of poll options during voting, and the category winner was a combination of two elements of the same game which will be released separately. This might have skewed the results slightly, but I think we're all looking forward to a refreshing and high quality diversion from what had become a rather routine release schedule up until the last few years. The 5punk Most Anticipated Game of the Year is:
Star Citizen / Squadron 42
Game of the Year
The Game of the Year differs slightly from the other game categories in that it isn't based on quality or general popularity, rather on how much fun it gave us. Due to the way we play games and our emphasis on silly fun over competitive play and fairness, we quite often choose games which are buggy, broken, or just ridiculous. There were only two nominations this year. One falls firmly into the category of being so bad it was good, the other was deliberately silly to begin with and then made even more so with mutators. The latter won out for longer lasting appeal. The 5punk Game of the Year 2013 is:
Chivalry: Medieval Warfare
Funny cupcake
The Funny cupcake award is presented to the 5punker who has consistently amused us, deliberately or otherwise, throughout the year. The medium varies - forum, Teamspeak, games, or in person - but typically our Funny cupcake will cause laughter in all of them. The award is important because a sense of humour underlines everything the group is: light, well meaning and fun. The 5punk award for the Funny cupcake of 2013 is:
Roman Totale
Talented Bastard
5punkers are typically a modest lot, and being lauded for their creative skills isn't something many will strive for particularly. We need content though to drive us, be it amusing images, beardy tabletop adventures, topical writing, or Lets Play videos. The Talented Bastard not only amuses us, but keeps people coming back to the site and makes it attractive to new members. As modest as we are, our creativity is worth celebrating. The 5punk Talented Bastard award for 2013 goes to:
Dog Pants
Meat Shield
The Meat Shield award is given to the 5punker who has embodied the very 5punky quality of being shit. It may sound like an unenviable plaudit, but it celebrates some of the 5punkiest qualities - playing for fun rather than results, not taking ourselves seriously. The award is being considered for retirement this year as it has been almost a one-horse race for a while now, but it is rather highly thought of and the multiple time winner (with this year being no exception) requested that it be retained so that he can win something. The 5punk Meat Shield for 2013 is:
Pnut
Master of Rings
This award is presented to the 5punker who has been the most active in drumming up activity and encouraging new members. People are the life-blood of the community, and as natural attrition slowly drains us of members we need to make sure that others find us. Similarly, and particularly since 5punkers are a notoriously ill-organised lot, we benefit from a few people who are prepared to put in some effort to promote activity, be it weekend gaming or bashes. The nominees were all strong contenders for different reasons, but the winner stood out for his relentless recruiting. The Master of Rings 2013 is:
HereComesPete
OMG Haxxor
While we savour a lack of serious competitiveness and draw a lot of amusement from being bad at games, we must also recognise that 5punkers are capable of showing surprising skill and coordination when the need takes us. Historically we have been able to prove our gaming mettle against outsiders when our antics have been mistaken for stupidity, and having a handful of good players in any given game benefits us all for when we do want to play properly. This year it has been particularly important due to the prominence of our MP Game of the Year, which is a complex animal that does require skill to enjoy. That can be seen in its strong influence in nominations, and in its landslide winner. We can only assume, as he wins this award, that he is cheating. The OMG Haxxor award for 2013 goes to:
Shot2Bits
Vampire of the Year
The Vampire award is given to the 5punker who has been deemed to spend the most nocturnal activity playing games and hanging about when the rest of us are asleep in bed. Once it was a well contested award, and a way to gently rib our MMONG playing members. More recently it has become less diverse and indicates more of someone we're jealous of as we mature because they get more gaming time than we do. As such the award may be retired for next year. Even so, this year's winner has won by a flood of votes because he is known to arrive in games at ungodly hours and play competently while the rest of us are drunk and falling asleep. Mainly because he works night shifts. The Vampire of the Year award for 2013 goes to:
Anery
Liver of the Year
The Liver award is more prestigious than it sounds. Most 5punkers enjoy a few drinks, and quite a few of our cultural linchpins have stemmed from silly drunken activity. While we of course wouldn't encourage irresponsible drinking in any member except Berk, all of our Liver winners have proven to be highly amusing when drunk. This year's winner had some firm competition, but the race was a marathon rather than a sprint and our recipient has certainly put in the distance this year with almost weekly post-pub appearances. The Liver of the Year award for 2013 goes to:
Pnut
5punker of the Year
The 5punker of the Year is the final award. It is a vessel for 5punkers to celebrate the member who they feel has contributed the most to the general wellbeing of the community. It incorporates many aspects of the other awards, but most of all it embodies the propagation of our attitude, the qualities we call 5punkiness. As was stated during the introduction, we pride ourselves on being friendly and inclusive, puerile and easy going. This year has seen a great set of nominations recognising the activity of people who love the site and who, consciously or otherwise, strive to promote 5punkiness. There was almost a nomination for the whole site membership too, as there has been once before. It escaped the polls on semantics, but had it not it would surely have won. The reason for this is that no one person can lay claim to the success of our group. We all contribute to the forums being a place where we talk about subjects from the silliest to the most serious. We confide in each other as real friends. We gather as groups regularly and look forward to our interactions. This is more than just a gaming community, more than just a kickaround in the park, this is our escape and our comfort, our digital local, and every one of us contributes to that in a significant way. However, the award exists and there must be a winner. The 5punker of the Year 2013 is:
Dog Pants
Thanks guys. I have a salty tear in my favourite eye. Cheques are in the post.
Special thanks again to Grimmie for the beautiful award images.
