Battle LA: (take the loo roll with you)
Posted: March 12th, 2011, 12:02
We were meant to go and see Rango, now I wish we had stuck to the original plan.
Battle LA is a mixed up movie, it seems incapable of deciding what it is supposed to be; is it a sci-fi movie? is it an action movie? is it a military movie? is it a hoo-ya we love america movie? It manages to hit all those points they way a drunk darts player only just manages to not stab you in the eye. Watch this movie and you will be wishing the metaphorical lush had succeded.
To make matters worse the writers seemed to have been intent on fitting as many movie cliches as possible - the inexperienced officer who has to prove himself, the experienced battle hardened SSgt with a dark past he must come to grips with, the alien that's dead but not dead, the cas-evac getting blow up, Michelle Rodriguez with a gun... at one point I remember sitting there scratching off characters as they appeared on screen "he's gonna die, he's gonna die, he's gonna die" and I was thankful, the actiing was wooden at best and just damn annoying the rest of the time, I felt sorry for the aliens.
Which brings me to a part of the film that I found particularly insulting, I'm pretty damn sure Aaron Eckhart should be done for war crimes.
Not that Eckhart is anything like a good soldier, first deployment against the aliens seens the marines running through the streets like kids chasing a football - any alien worth his CGI bill could have picked them all off with one shot, although sadly they seem hampered by lapses of intelligence at cruicial moments and boosted to almost competancy at others, usually coupled with an invincible power up - a forgivable sin had the rest of the movie been able to draw me in.
All in all a shit movie, the only way I would recommend anyboy seeing this movie with their own eyes would be when found in a 99p bargain bin and used as a drinking game, take a shot when Aaron Eckhart looks masculine but troubled, take a shot everytime his dark past is hinted at, take a shot for every cliche seen... you would be blind drunk after the first half hour which would make the rest of the movie a lot better.
Battle LA is a mixed up movie, it seems incapable of deciding what it is supposed to be; is it a sci-fi movie? is it an action movie? is it a military movie? is it a hoo-ya we love america movie? It manages to hit all those points they way a drunk darts player only just manages to not stab you in the eye. Watch this movie and you will be wishing the metaphorical lush had succeded.
To make matters worse the writers seemed to have been intent on fitting as many movie cliches as possible - the inexperienced officer who has to prove himself, the experienced battle hardened SSgt with a dark past he must come to grips with, the alien that's dead but not dead, the cas-evac getting blow up, Michelle Rodriguez with a gun... at one point I remember sitting there scratching off characters as they appeared on screen "he's gonna die, he's gonna die, he's gonna die" and I was thankful, the actiing was wooden at best and just damn annoying the rest of the time, I felt sorry for the aliens.
Which brings me to a part of the film that I found particularly insulting,
Spoiler:
Not that Eckhart is anything like a good soldier, first deployment against the aliens seens the marines running through the streets like kids chasing a football - any alien worth his CGI bill could have picked them all off with one shot, although sadly they seem hampered by lapses of intelligence at cruicial moments and boosted to almost competancy at others, usually coupled with an invincible power up - a forgivable sin had the rest of the movie been able to draw me in.
All in all a shit movie, the only way I would recommend anyboy seeing this movie with their own eyes would be when found in a 99p bargain bin and used as a drinking game, take a shot when Aaron Eckhart looks masculine but troubled, take a shot everytime his dark past is hinted at, take a shot for every cliche seen... you would be blind drunk after the first half hour which would make the rest of the movie a lot better.
