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Dog Pants
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Movie mini reviews

Post by Dog Pants »

If nothing else, so people can go "Woah! I love that film!".


2001: A space odyssey
"Hello Dave. What are you doing Dave?" Classic sci-fi, but gets a bit too wierd for em at the end.

28 Days Later
British zombie flick that originated the new 'fast' zombies. It's no Hollywood action movie, but there are jumps aplenty and the vistas of an empty London are great.

Airplane
Classic Mel Brooks comedy. Gloriously silly pisstake of 70s disaster films.

Alien
Dark, scary, claustrophobic. And it has a dancing chestburster. No wait, that's a different film...

Aliens
The series moves from horror to action. The marines are great, the action's desperate and claustrophobic, the aliens are deeply threatening.

Alien Vs Predator
A prime example of a the whole not being greater than the sum of its parts. Uninspired plot, cheesy characters.

Anchorman
Very silly but utterly, pant wettingly funny. Mrs Pants hates it, so probably more of a film for beer and mates - you'll all be quoting it for months.

Apocalypse Now
Like someone said to Kubrik "Make 2001, but make it like Platoon". Epic 'Nam movie with some amazing cinematography, but just like 2001 it gets really wierd at the end.

Batman
Tim Burton's dark vision of the the Batman comics. I think Burton really captures the moody pseudo-50s feel of the original Batman, which had until then turned into the camp TV series.

Batman Begins
The Batman franchise turned to crap after Tim Burton left it, but this is a more than capable return to what Batman should be.

Batman Returns
The last great Batman film before everything went camp, and Burton's last in the series. The assault penguins are genius

Black Hawk Down
I was pleasantly surprised by this. Desperate, gritty, and brutal.

Blade
Brilliant action - the fighting, imagery and music all come together perfectly but it never seems too over the top.

Blade 2
A fine sequel to Blade. The extra characters are interesting but not too distracting, and the bad guy really gives off the impression of being extraordinarily dangerous.

Blade Trinity
Oh dear, fell at the third hurdle. I imagine the action is probably still pretty goot, but I couldn't see past the hideously cliched teen Buffy-a-likes he has to team up with.

Blade Runner
Massively influential sci-fi classic. Ridley Scott's attention to detail in the dark and grimy future setting really shows, and Ford and Hauer make outstanding opponents, with the weak hunting the strong.

Blazing Saddles
Possibly Mel Brooks's best film. Hilariously silly cowboy comedy with a one-liner a minute.

Braindead
Ridiculous zombie comedy set in 50s New Zealand with buckets of gore and sick jokes. Very funny, only madde more charming by the crap special effects. "I kick arse for the Lord!"

Casablanca
Casablanca is interesting. It's very famous but not that many people have seen it. It's worth watching though - plenty of intrigue, funny in parts, and you'll find yourself saying "oh, so that's where that quote comes from!".

Das Boot
Very intense and claustrophobic. It's edge of teh seat stuff and you really feel thrill of the attack, followed by the terror and forced silence as they cower in hiding from the backlash. Don't be scared of the subtitles.

Dawn of the Dead
A personal favourite of mine, and the zombie film by which all other zombie films are measured. Apocalyptic, funny, and violent.

Dogma
Lots of good humour here - the dry wit of Alan Rickman, the quick attitude of Chris Rock, and the slapstick of Jay and Silent Bob.

Fallen
Relatively unknown thriller starring Denzil Washington. Has you wondering for most of the film if it's a serial killer hunt or a supernatural thriller.

First Strike
Jackie Chan's most polished film. If you only watch one Chan film I'd recommend this - the fighting is always fantastic and while the comedy is cheesy it's quite charming for it.

Fifth Element
Puts a wonderful slant on sci-fi. It somehow makes the future seem ridiculous but realistic at the same time, and the story bounds along at a good, steady pace.

Flatliners
Very creepy supernatural thriller, well worth a watch despite the all-star cast (which usually is used to make up for pants films).

Full Metal Jacket
A film of two halves - the training half is funny and uncomfortable, and infinitely quotable. The war part is harsh, gritty and very memorable.

Gangs of New York
I can't help but think of this as an extremely violent fairy tale. The setting seems pseudo-real, but it's brilliantly made so as to not be noticed. The characters are big and bold, and the setting is superbly detailed.

Ghosbusters
Probably my favourite film. Extremely funny tongue-in-cheek stuff written and performed by the best comedy talent of the 80s.

Ghostbusters 2
Not nearly as good as the original, but definitely worth watching if only for the dancing toaster.

Glory
There's lots of hard-biting war movies out there, but this one is unusual in its Civil War setting and subject. The large scale battles are awe inspiring, and the story of the black soldiers of the period is very humbling.

Grosse Pointe Blank
Nostalgic comedy about a hitman trying to retire. Very neglected I think, because there are few action comedies out there that beat this one.

Groundhog Day
We've all been there, waking up doing the same thing day after day. Bill Murray goes even further, and he does his miserable bastard act particularly well.

Happy Gilmore
Sandler's best film, in my opinion. Casual humour mixed with slapstick, created by a character who is put somewhere he really doesn't belong and creates a scene.

Hellraiser
Creepy, surreal horror. I like all the series, but the first is probably the best. I can't think of many other horror films that are as freakishly grotesque while still being a good film. Weird, in a good way.

Jarhead
Normally I love the gritty war movies, but I just couldn't get into this one. They say war is boredom interspersed with terror - well this was all of the bordom bit for me.

Kelly's Heroes
Not far from the typical war movies of the past, but the out-of-place hippy tank platoon commanded by Donald Sutherland are absolutely brilliant.

Labyrinth
Okay, it's a kid's film. It's a good one though - David Bowie is suitably menacing as the Goblin King, even in the face of the lunatic muppet-esque goblins.

Mars Attacks
Almost like Mel Brooks in space, but not quite. I like it, but many don't.

Muppets' Treasure Island
Pirates and muppets. Need I say more?

No Man's Land
Excellent foreign film about a humanitarian dilemma during the Yugoslavian civil war. Interesting how the main characters swing wildly between being heroes and villains through the film, with the ineffectual UN providing an interesting extra angle.

Plunkett and Mclean
A sort of modern British take on the Regency highwaymen. Very funny, dry comedy.

Predator
It's an action movie that shines above most others of its time. The Predator is an inspirational movie monster that carries the entire film.

Predator 2
On top of the brilliant Predator, there is also a Robocop-esque gang war story. Personally I think the characters and setting are both better than the original, but I suspect I'm in a minority.

Re-Animator
Based on an HP Lovecraft story apparently. That's why I bought this, but it's too heavy on bad comedy and bad plot to be able to appreciate anything Lovecraftian that might have survived.

Resident Evil
Assault rifles + zombies = win. Nice action, a couple of gruesome shock moments, and great zombies.

Resident Evil: Apocalypse
Takes away the brilliant zombies and replaces them with cliched characters (possibly the same ones from Blade Trinity, they all seem the same to me) and a mediocre monster.

Return of the Living Dead
Apparently an 80s classic. It does have some comedy and zombie appeal, but it hasn't aged very well.

Saving Private Ryan
Worth watching if only for the Omaha Beach scene. Brutal and honest, but seems slightly Hollywood-polished after watching the true accounts in Band of Brothers.

Shaun Of The Dead
Zombies are good. Silly comedy is good. Zombies and silly comedy is doubly good and then some.

South Park The Movie
"A South Park musical?" I cried, "sound like a load of pants to me". How wrong I was. I'm not a huge fan of South Park, but the pure toilet humour appealed to the 6 year-old in me.

Space Balls
Mars Attacks isn't Mel Brooks in space, this is. Massively funny spoof of sci-fi (mostly Star Wars), daft in the extreme.

Starship Troopers
It's brainless, it's all effects, it has no real plot, it barely resembles the book apparently. It's brilliant - closest I can think of to Duke Nukem the movie.

Them!
If you only ever watch one 50s B movie, watch this one. If you've ever played It Came From The Desert you'll love it.

The Aviator
I thought it looked as entertaining as queueing for a passport, but I was very pleasantly surprised. There's some good excitement, but the story of Howard Hughes's descent into insanity is compelling viewing. Leonardo Di Caprio cemented my grudging respect in this with his portrayal of a man who knows he's going mad and can't do anything about it.

The Goonies
Every kid should see this so they can love it as an adult as I do. Sloth is possibly one of the best characters ever to hit the screen.

The Matrix
Blatantly cool setting, fantastic wire-fighting, lots of guns and a perfectly matched sound track. Brilliant action without the distraction of the pretentious plot of the later films.

The Mummy
The Mummy Returns
Particularly funny and light hearted action monster films. There's not really much between them, they're both pretty good. And I fancy Rachel Weisz.

The Ring
Scary as fuck. People meh at it, but the only other film to have got to me like this one is The Shining, so that's got to be an achievment.

The Running Man
Brilliant sci-fi action that epitomises the 80s consumer vision of the near future.

The Shining
Unnerving, disturbing and brilliant. Possibly the scariest film I've ever seen.

The Terminator
Come on, surely I don't have to explain? Okay. The Terminator is The Mummy remade for the 80s, with its technological terror that is not only a fearsome and ruthless monster, but also a terrifying portent of an impending apocalypse.

The Thing
The sheer isolation, the paranoia, the claustrophobia and the hideous effects make this one of the best thriller/horrors ever made.

The Waterboy
Extremely funny slapstick, silly for the most part but not as wacky as Anchorman.

Three Kings
Interesting take on a war movie I think. Kind of like Kelly's Heroes. I like the moral dilemmas and I like how human the heroes come across.

Time Bandits
Surreal, funny and really interesting. How can a film about time travelling midgets not be cool?

Top Gun
Okay, it's all action and rather homoerotic but I just can't help but get all testosteroney on big noisy fighter planes.

Twelve Monkeys
Pretty confusing but very, very good. Time travelly sci-fi with a gritty setting and some great characters.

Windtalkers
A rather underrated war film I think, set in the pacific theatre. Very good battle scenes, nice characters and a slightly different perspective.


Christ, that's taken me 2 1/2 hours.
Roman Totale
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Re: Movie mini reviews

Post by Roman Totale »

Dog Pants wrote: Airplane
Classic Mel Brooks comedy. Gloriously silly pisstake of 70s disaster films


Nay, 'tis Abrahams and Zucker of Naked Gun/Police Squad fame. Is a top film though.

"We need to get this man to a hospital!"
"A hospital?! What is it?"
"It's a big building with patients in it, but that's not important right now."

And of course the classic "Surely you can't be serious..."
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Re: Movie mini reviews

Post by Grimmie »

Roman Totale wrote:"Surely you can't be serious..."


"Deadly.. And stop calling me Shirley."

"Looks like I chose the wrong week to stop sniffling glue.."
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Post by Dog Pants »

Ah well, I was wrong about teh director (although it has a distinctly Brooks smell), but I was right about it being a great film.

That's a fraction of my film collection there by the way.
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Post by spoodie »

Dog Pants wrote:Them!
If you only ever watch one 50s B movie, watch this one. If you've ever played It Came From The Desert you'll love it.

I was going to say "That's weird, I watched that last night."
But as you've probably listed all the films ever it's not that weird. :)

Surprisingly good for such an old film though. Very dated special fx but the rest is pretty good considering. Should be part of every film education.
Joose
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Re: Movie mini reviews

Post by Joose »

Dog Pants wrote:wafflewafflewaffle


:above: all of that. Weird seing someone else repeatedly saying "I like this, but no one else does" and agreeing with them.

Couple of things to note:

Apocalypse Now: Redux makes a lot more sense than the original at the end. Apparently when it came to editing it down to make it fit the time they wanted, he basically chopped bits out of the end till it fits. Its still pretty damn odd, but at least it makes some kind of sense. It makes it possibly the longest film I have ever seen though.

2001 was a bit of a failed experiment. Apparently the film and the book were made at the same time, and they actually intended it to make no sense if you hadnt read the book first. Which is a shit idea, really.

Im going to make an attempt to do similar things to my movie collection tonight :)
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Re: Movie mini reviews

Post by ProfHawking »

Joose wrote:Im going to make an attempt to do similar things to my movie collection tonight :)


Anyone fancy doing mine for me? I dont think i can be arsed.
http://net.clintweb.co.uk/films/
:above: This list thems, and steals info from IMDB automagically. It will have to do.
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Post by spoodie »

Eragon
Worse than Dragonheart 2 and that's bad.
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Post by deject »

I'll say it. The Fifth Element is shit. It embodies everything that sucks ass about sci-fi/fantasy.
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Post by spoodie »

deject wrote:I'll say it. The Fifth Element is shit. It embodies everything that sucks ass about sci-fi/fantasy.

No it's not. No it doesn't. :P
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Post by Dr. kitteny berk »

I must say I kinda like the 5th elephant, It's not great if you're expecting a super-serious scifi. but it's a bit of fun and there's always the promise of tits, (and it's always denied) :(
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Post by Grimmie »

MULTIPASS!

You see Leelu's tits briefly when she's changing in front of the priest man.
Dr. kitteny berk
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Post by Dr. kitteny berk »

aren't they only side on?

no nip-shot certainly.
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Post by Grimmie »

Most possibly sideboob, or blurryboob.
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Post by HereComesPete »

deject wrote:I'll say it. The Fifth Element is shit. It embodies everything that sucks ass about sci-fi/fantasy.


Lies, its a luc besson mind fuck of a film. Oldman fucking rules, and I mean absolutely fucking owns the screen for me in this. Plus the bit with the big ass blue tart blowing out some crazy opera, that still makes my neck hairs stick up.


AGNOT? WOT!
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Post by FatherJack »

The ending ruined it for me. The opening scenes were Blade Runner-like in the city design and his living space, and her costume was fantastic without being smutty.
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Post by Dr. kitteny berk »

Straightheads

This movie contains Gillian Anderson's Tits. Right, that's half of you sold.

For the others, English movie, straight to video.

Think Death Wish-ish, but english and different.

Not bad, not great. I'd give it 7/10 (it'd be 6/10 without the tits)
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Post by HereComesPete »

:above: I'd give that film 5/10, and I'd give anderson one, ahahahaha!

Old un but a gold un!
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Post by MORDETH LESTOK »

deject wrote:I'll say it. The Fifth Element is shit. It embodies everything that sucks ass about sci-fi/fantasy.

hmm...i thought that when Chris Tucker showed up in it...and a bit was corny...if they'd do a Director's cut...like 15mins worth out...it'd have been quite better... :cheese:
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Post by MORDETH LESTOK »

FatherJack wrote:her costume was fantastic without being smutty.

I modeled my CoH toon a bit like her...bah...lost old pics on re-format...i'll UL later
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