Movie mini reviews

Post by **Roman Totale** » September 15th, 2008, 16:58

HereComesPete wrote:Ricci can never be too cute imo. I'd bang her so hard my dick broke off.

Speaking of unusual but attractive women, when is Thora <strike>Hird</strike> Birch going to do more stuff?

Post by **HereComesPete** » September 15th, 2008, 18:33

She is pretty fucking hot, see also anna paquin.

As for birch and stuff, she's got 4/5 films in various stages of finished. some pre and some post production. She may even appear in film before the year is out. Anyone remember cavegirl on citv/bbc? They appear to have made that, but with this large chested young woman in it.

Post by **Grimmie** » September 17th, 2008, 16:50

I should probably do some of these.

<b><a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0486640/">Postal</a> (2007)</b>
Standard Uwe Boll film review.
If you played the game and liked it you'll probably like this.
If you played the game and treasured it, you'll probably dislike this.
If you never played the game, then you'll want to eviscerate Uwe Boll.

Slapstick story about a down-on-his-luck guy going postal after losing his job, deciding to take part in a get rich quick scheme. The movie makes many references to the game (game producer, taliban, celebrities, merchandise) that won't make much sense unless you've played through it thoroughly.

4.5/10 For effort

:starfull::starfull::starfull::starhalf::starempty::starempty::starempty::starempty::starempty:

<b><a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0071361/">Coonskin</a> (1975)</b>
A Ralph Bakshi film (he of animated Lord of the Rings epic and 1960's Spiderman cartoons)
A black humour film about a group of three unlikely black brothers moving from their roots to live in Harlem, the black capital, and how the survive and adapt in the big city. Strong stereotypes of blacks, whites, jews and americans, fantastic animation and voice acting.

<s>Ultraviolet</s> Ultraviolent and pretty graphic, look out for the scene when the police sheriff trips out on acid, it's a real mindfuck.

7/10 Classic adult cartoon

:starfull::starfull::starfull::starfull::starfull::starfull::starempty::starempty::starempty:

MORDETH LESTOK · Post by **MORDETH LESTOK** » September 17th, 2008, 17:09

Grimmie wrote:Ultraviolet

lotsa purples?

Post by **Grimmie** » September 17th, 2008, 17:39

Post by **HereComesPete** » September 17th, 2008, 18:35

MORDETH LESTOK wrote: lotsa purples?

That's almost the nickname my mate has, Lottapurp, because he grows loads of purple haze.

spoodie · Post by **spoodie** » September 18th, 2008, 20:48

Good call on Coonskin. Not watched it all yet, but the song at the beginning is excellent.

Fear · Post by **Fear** » September 19th, 2008, 1:57

Forgetting Sarah Marhsall IMDB

A comedy, but not a "teen" comedy (thank fuck).

Jason Segel, I've never heard of him narf, stars and writes this, and he did a good job. It isn't film of the year or anything, but a pleasant way of spending 2 hours of my life.

It basically is a dude that gets dumped, and goes to Hawaii, with lols on the way.

The good:
Mila Kunis (brunette from That '70s Show, but many times more legal)

The bad:
Segel's penis.

Post by **Dr. kitteny berk** » September 19th, 2008, 2:00

Fear wrote: The bad:
Segel's penis.

Are we talking funny bend, scarring, or just that you didn't want to see/feel it?

Fear · Post by **Fear** » September 19th, 2008, 2:01

Dr. kitteny berk wrote:Are we talking funny bend, scarring, or just that you didn't want to see/feel it?

It features, but a little too often, almost like he wrote parts of the script just to show his knob off.

MORDETH LESTOK · Post by **MORDETH LESTOK** » September 21st, 2008, 22:28

Cleaner (2007) IMDB
A former cop (Samuel L. Jackson) who now earns a wage as a crime scene cleaner unknowingly participates in a cover-up at his latest job.

Also has Ed Harris, Eva Mendes and Luis Guzman. Quite a good cast and I never even heard of this movie until a girl at work asked me to *find* it for her. Good acting, good story, simple but different and interesting.

Not good at rating things since I tend to hate everything...but, I liked this and is plenty good to recommend

Baliame · Post by **Baliame** » September 22nd, 2008, 8:11

MORDETH LESTOK wrote:Not good at rating things since I tend to hate everything...but, I liked this and is plenty good to recommend

That's probably a 100 out of 10? You like it; that means it must be of such a high quality it teleports pussies right onto your cock or something.

MORDETH LESTOK · Post by **MORDETH LESTOK** » September 22nd, 2008, 12:21

Baliame wrote:That's probably a 100 out of 10? You like it; that means it must be of such a high quality it teleports pussies right onto your cock or something.

if only, if only...

Baliame · Post by **Baliame** » September 26th, 2008, 20:26

Star Wars II.5: Clone Wars

Animated movie set between SW2 and SW3. Animation is something new and works well, however, the SW Cow has been milked so much that milking it more leaves you with straightforward smelly bad french cheese.

Some fucker kidnaps Jabba's son and some other fuckers have to rescue him. Some new fuckers help them do it and some old fuckers attempt to stop it from happening. And some very old fucker doesn't know the word unpredictability, or Star Wars movies are made out of templates now?

spoodie · Post by **spoodie** » September 26th, 2008, 23:08

Starship Troopers 3: Marauder

Someone mentioned this on TS tonight, which reminded me. And to reiterate what Berk said: It's better than Starship Troopers 2 (so is the result of my mid-morning toilet visit), but not as good as the original.

If you want to see more Starship Troopers it does the job and is perfectly watchable. They also seem to have pulled Rico out of alcoholic retirement and replaced his big mouthed girlfriend with a similar model.

Mr. Johnson · Post by **Mr. Johnson** » October 1st, 2008, 23:28

The Forsaken (2001)

Surprisingly good little vampire flick about three 'infected' teenagers looking for the head vampire, wich they have kill in order to get healed before they turn into vampires. Your basic modern vampire story, only better. Features a realistic and believable vampire hunter, a pretty original "ancient head-vampire story", no ridiculous amounts of gore, and the vampires are pretty original too, in the sense that they are portrayed as a gang of ruthless psychopaths rather than deformed monsters. Think vampires and from dusk till dawn, but with less fail. (and less Tarantino, thank fuck.)

Post by **HereComesPete** » October 2nd, 2008, 0:06

Whaaaaaat?! For all tarantino has his cock in my ass I'm fucking special moments, he's made some classic films. I enjoyed from dusk till dawn, the numerous sequels are bollocks but the original is great imo.

His last one, deathproof, that was mediocre. Rodriguez made the better half of the homage with his gun-fu horror planet terror.

Post by **Dr. kitteny berk** » October 2nd, 2008, 0:19

HereComesPete wrote:

Whaaaaaat?! For all tarantino has his cock in my ass I'm fucking special moments, he's made some classic films. I enjoyed from dusk till dawn, the numerous sequels are bollocks but the original is great imo.

Mr. Johnson · Post by **Mr. Johnson** » October 2nd, 2008, 8:09

Sorry, i just think Tarantino is overrated, his only film that i really liked was Jackie Brown, and that was because it didn't have a gangster as the lead figure. Mind you, i like from dusk till dawn, i just didn't like Tarantino in it, since he's a not such a good actor, and he kind of bothered me in it.

Post by **Roman Totale** » October 2nd, 2008, 8:23

Pulp Fiction is one of the all time greats in my opinion.

Also thoroughly enjoyed From Dusk Till Dawn. The second one in that series however was the most laughable piece of shit I've ever seen. The vampires were repelled by anything even remotely cross-like - this caused them a bit of a problem when trying to open a bank vault that had a wheel on the front with four bars.

5punk

Movie mini reviews

Forgetting Sarah Marhsall

Re: Forgetting Sarah Marhsall

Re: Forgetting Sarah Marhsall