Booze recipes
Posted: April 30th, 2010, 18:07
Talk about what combinations of alcohols you like! Especialy ghetto ones for when all the beer has run out. I tend to keep things fairly simple personally;
EDIT: I was going to use this as a sort of food post but for beers. But I got bored and started being silly. So now it's bollocks. But it's taken me ages to write so I'm posting it anyway. Now I'm going to google the contents of my drinks cabinet to work out what to drink tonight.
Single malt whisky:
Often referred to as Scotch, but there are some nice Welsh and Japanese ones too. Serve neat, or with a little mineral water. Don't chill it with ice or anything - you want to taste it, otherwise you might as well drink Teachers. If you mix this with anything but water a Scotsman will come round and kick you in the testicles. Jockgit is on standby.
Other whiskey:
Chuck ice in it, makes it taste less bad. Some people put coke in it but I think it makes both the coke and the whiskey taste like shit. Tesco Value whiskey is traditionally mixed with Tesco Value bottled water, mainly so that when you regain consciousness you'll stil have your eyesight. Alternatively, mix it with other spirits in a cocktail. There are different types of whiskeys - bourbons (face melt from America), blends (face melt from Scotland), and probably others (still face melts).
Gin:
I like gin and tonic. The British first started mixing gin and tonic water together in colonial India back in the day. Many people think they mixed the tonic water in to hide the taste of the gin, when in fact the gin is there to hide the taste of the tonic water. I like the one with lime personally. Don't mix it with lemonade, it's fucking horrible.
Vodka:
I drink mine neat. Like whiskey, it makes coke taste funny. Stick it in the freezer for a bit first to do it Polish style, it makes you a man. Berk swears by coke with his, and other people mix it with orange, which isn't too bad. I won't go into any more detail when we have a connoisseur.
Liqueurs:
Just don't, they taste like tramp vomit and girls like them. Southern Comfort can be made almost drinkable at a push by mixing it with copious amounts of ginger ale, which makes it taste like whisky (face melt, not nice whisky). If you knock back a swig of neat SoCo (as the Americans like to call it), then the face melt will taste much nicer.
Brandy:
I think you're meant to drink this i a big glass that spreads the surface area out and warms it to the temperatire of your hand. It's made out of the goo in the bottom of wine barrels. I enjoyed it with lemonade and angostura bitters, known by the Cypriots as brandy sours. Although the first time I drank that, in March 2003, I got hammered and found myself on a C-130 heading south east by the time I sobered up.
Wine:
Amblin and Friz like it. I think the good ones come in boxes.
Beer:
Stronger does not mean better, and neither does expensive. There's a reason Belgium exports Stella Artois, and it's because the Belgians won't drink the stuff. Lagers are nice served cold on warm days. Preferably not out of a can (and particularly not a can that has the word 'Carling' or 'Fosters' on it). Czech lagers (eg Budweiser Budvar) are nice and light, German lagers (eg Warsteiner) are quite heavy and can fuck you up, Belgian lagers (eg Hoegaarden) are also quite heavy and will almost certainly fuck you up. Kronenbourg comes out of France and is half decent, about the only thing that is. Stay away from expensive lagers in tiny bottles, they make you look like a knob. Unless it's Duvel, in which case you'll look like a knob when you fall over after a few of them. Polish lagers can be nice, such as Zywiec, Okocim and Tyskie. Australian beers come in little bottles, stuff like Tooeys and Carlton. It's strong so that Aussies can drink them faster and get smashed off their tits.
When drinking British, you're pretty much better off sticking to bitter and ale if you want something nice. Loads of people avoid them because they think they're either what old men drink, or are harder to drink than lager. maybe the former was true once upon a time, but not so much any more. I'm not convinced there's any such thing as a bad ale, but just to be on the safe side consider that the fancier the bottle the more likely it is to taste like horse piss. In my experience the best thing to do with ales is drink as many as possible to try to find out what you like.
Cocktails:
Some I've found to be nice;
Manhattan
Whiskey, vermouth and bitters. Easy to make, and quite nice. I found them when Mrs Pants was working late one monday night and I experimented with the contents of the drinks cabinet.
Long Island Iced Tea
Equal parts vodka, tequila, gin and rum, with a splash of triple sec and a bit of coke. Complicated, so not likely to be something you drink at home unless you've a particularly well stocked drinks cabinet, but nice.
Ghetto Cocktails:
Sometimes you're just stuck in the house with nothing but a bunch of spirits. You've got to drink something, but your options are limited. Time to experiment.
Turbo Shandy
Beer mixed with Smirnoff Ice. Best to use a cheap lager, it'll taste like piss regardless but it's drinkable.
EDIT: I was going to use this as a sort of food post but for beers. But I got bored and started being silly. So now it's bollocks. But it's taken me ages to write so I'm posting it anyway. Now I'm going to google the contents of my drinks cabinet to work out what to drink tonight.
Single malt whisky:
Often referred to as Scotch, but there are some nice Welsh and Japanese ones too. Serve neat, or with a little mineral water. Don't chill it with ice or anything - you want to taste it, otherwise you might as well drink Teachers. If you mix this with anything but water a Scotsman will come round and kick you in the testicles. Jockgit is on standby.
Other whiskey:
Chuck ice in it, makes it taste less bad. Some people put coke in it but I think it makes both the coke and the whiskey taste like shit. Tesco Value whiskey is traditionally mixed with Tesco Value bottled water, mainly so that when you regain consciousness you'll stil have your eyesight. Alternatively, mix it with other spirits in a cocktail. There are different types of whiskeys - bourbons (face melt from America), blends (face melt from Scotland), and probably others (still face melts).
Gin:
I like gin and tonic. The British first started mixing gin and tonic water together in colonial India back in the day. Many people think they mixed the tonic water in to hide the taste of the gin, when in fact the gin is there to hide the taste of the tonic water. I like the one with lime personally. Don't mix it with lemonade, it's fucking horrible.
Vodka:
I drink mine neat. Like whiskey, it makes coke taste funny. Stick it in the freezer for a bit first to do it Polish style, it makes you a man. Berk swears by coke with his, and other people mix it with orange, which isn't too bad. I won't go into any more detail when we have a connoisseur.
Liqueurs:
Just don't, they taste like tramp vomit and girls like them. Southern Comfort can be made almost drinkable at a push by mixing it with copious amounts of ginger ale, which makes it taste like whisky (face melt, not nice whisky). If you knock back a swig of neat SoCo (as the Americans like to call it), then the face melt will taste much nicer.
Brandy:
I think you're meant to drink this i a big glass that spreads the surface area out and warms it to the temperatire of your hand. It's made out of the goo in the bottom of wine barrels. I enjoyed it with lemonade and angostura bitters, known by the Cypriots as brandy sours. Although the first time I drank that, in March 2003, I got hammered and found myself on a C-130 heading south east by the time I sobered up.
Wine:
Amblin and Friz like it. I think the good ones come in boxes.
Beer:
Stronger does not mean better, and neither does expensive. There's a reason Belgium exports Stella Artois, and it's because the Belgians won't drink the stuff. Lagers are nice served cold on warm days. Preferably not out of a can (and particularly not a can that has the word 'Carling' or 'Fosters' on it). Czech lagers (eg Budweiser Budvar) are nice and light, German lagers (eg Warsteiner) are quite heavy and can fuck you up, Belgian lagers (eg Hoegaarden) are also quite heavy and will almost certainly fuck you up. Kronenbourg comes out of France and is half decent, about the only thing that is. Stay away from expensive lagers in tiny bottles, they make you look like a knob. Unless it's Duvel, in which case you'll look like a knob when you fall over after a few of them. Polish lagers can be nice, such as Zywiec, Okocim and Tyskie. Australian beers come in little bottles, stuff like Tooeys and Carlton. It's strong so that Aussies can drink them faster and get smashed off their tits.
When drinking British, you're pretty much better off sticking to bitter and ale if you want something nice. Loads of people avoid them because they think they're either what old men drink, or are harder to drink than lager. maybe the former was true once upon a time, but not so much any more. I'm not convinced there's any such thing as a bad ale, but just to be on the safe side consider that the fancier the bottle the more likely it is to taste like horse piss. In my experience the best thing to do with ales is drink as many as possible to try to find out what you like.
Cocktails:
Some I've found to be nice;
Manhattan
Whiskey, vermouth and bitters. Easy to make, and quite nice. I found them when Mrs Pants was working late one monday night and I experimented with the contents of the drinks cabinet.
Long Island Iced Tea
Equal parts vodka, tequila, gin and rum, with a splash of triple sec and a bit of coke. Complicated, so not likely to be something you drink at home unless you've a particularly well stocked drinks cabinet, but nice.
Ghetto Cocktails:
Sometimes you're just stuck in the house with nothing but a bunch of spirits. You've got to drink something, but your options are limited. Time to experiment.
Turbo Shandy
Beer mixed with Smirnoff Ice. Best to use a cheap lager, it'll taste like piss regardless but it's drinkable.
