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Uwe Boll's Dungeon Siege Unleashed [Movies]

The Montreal Film Journalraves about In The Name Of The King: A Dungeon Siege Tale: "Fuck "The Lord Of The Rings", this is how it's done!" Of course the reviewer then goes on to explain that he is lying, but for one, shining moment you can almost imagine Uwe Boll getting the tiniest bit of a stiffy. His latest film opens today in theaters across North America, and from the reviews I have read so far it almost sounds worth going to see just how amazingly terrible it is. My personal favorite so far comes from Rick Groen of the Globe and Mail, who took a sort of liveblogging approach to the review.

7:15 p.m. Flick finally starts. Appear to be in a medieval castle. The bedroom. Naked Ray Liotta spoons naked Leelee Sobieski. Close-up of Ray. Looks like he just jetted first-class into Middle Ages. Straight from Goodfellas. That's some Witness Protection Program.

Oh screw it, I'm going. I'll let you know how it turns out if I don't die laughing.

Author: Mike Fahey
Category: Cinema Gas Powered Games In The Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale Movies Uwe Boll
Publish Date: Fri, 11 Jan 2008 08:20:03 MST
Read more...

Source: Kotaku

The boll strikes again...

I only needed to see the leather trenchcoat to formulate a low opinion.

Ahem, I think you mean tailored medieval nazi leather trenchcoat.

Liotta must have spent all his money on coke and whores or summat, because this is a low.

I can't wait to watch the first ten minutes of this and then turn it off.

jason statham appears to be fighting with a wooden spoon.

Mr. Johnson wrote:jason statham appears to be fighting with a wooden spoon.

Looks like it could be a deadly spatula.

I want to see this.

A

will be in order

this can only end one way

GaH! I can't stop imagining Uwe Boll with a stiffy.

FatherJack wrote:GaH! I can't stop imagining Uwe Boll with a stiffy.

Heh...here's a few reviews from yahoo users...last one on the bottom liked it for some reason...and go figure...not one profession critic...

The Critics:
none
available
Yahoo! Users:
C+
19 ratings

User Reviews (83 reviews)
Write a review Write your own review
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Overall Grade: F
Story: D-
Acting: D-
Direction: C
Visuals: D-
An Epic Fail
by vixenkitten04 (movies profile) (Jan 11, 2008)
9 of 11 people found this review helpful
This movie is an amped up version of "Power Rangers". I have seen better mini-series than this. The dialogue was horrible on top of the over acting. I am surprised... Full Review

Overall Grade: F
Story: F
Acting: F
Direction: F
Visuals: F
Stapling your penis to a 2x4 would be less painful
by filthparade (movies profile) (Jan 11, 2008)
10 of 16 people found this review helpful
How is that Uwe Boll continues to get greenlit for movies? It has to be because of a tax write off as there is no other logical reasoning. The other thing... Full Review

Overall Grade: D
Story: D
Acting: C-
Direction: F
Visuals: C
Uwe Boll - auter misdirector
by nlopez08 (movies profile) (Jan 11, 2008)
9 of 13 people found this review helpful
Why? Why bother? Where does he get his funding? Why actors lend themselves to such mediocrity? Money? Fame? Fortune? Maybe Mr. Statham, Liotta, Rhys-Davies, and Sobieski needed to pay the... Full Review

Overall Grade: F
Story: F
Acting: D
Direction: F
Visuals: D
Super Bad
by xoran_tc (movies profile) (Jan 11, 2008)
7 of 9 people found this review helpful
Yes, I put the space between "Super" and "Bad" on purpose. I'm not talking about that movie. I'm talking about this piece of %#@^ they call a movie.... Full Review

Overall Grade: F
Story: F
Acting: D-
Direction: F
Visuals: F
haven't seen such a bad a movie for a long time
by shuni0727 (movies profile) (Jan 11, 2008)
7 of 10 people found this review helpful
ok, seriously, i really felt like leaving the cinema after the movie just started for 15 minutes. Gosh, the Kurgs!!! I HATE them!! they look exactly like monsters from... Full Review

Overall Grade: F
Story: D-
Acting: F
Direction: F
Visuals: F
What the F-#-$-K.
by hurst_aaron (movies profile) (Jan 11, 2008)
4 of 6 people found this review helpful
What in the H-E- double hockey stick was that all about? That is all I have to say here, but yahoo is making me post a longer review.

Overall Grade: F
Story: F
Acting: F
Direction: F
Visuals: F
And the worst movie of the year (already) is...
by stormlovingfreak92 (movies profile) (Jan 11, 2008)
3 of 5 people found this review helpful
Easily Uwe Boll's worst film and that's pretty hard to be when you're the director of Alone in the Dark and House of the Dead. Jason Stathom deserves better. Even... Full Review

Overall Grade: F
Story: F
Acting: D+
Direction: F
Visuals: D-
it seems jason uses his fans to distribrute filth
by nyt999999999 (movies profile) (Jan 11, 2008)
3 of 6 people found this review helpful
this movie was horrible dont waste you're time & money.seriously no real logic in this movie,a complete crap.........its better to rent a dvd then going to the screen

Overall Grade: F
Story: F
Acting: F
Direction: F
Visuals: F
HORRIFIC, UNIMAGINATIVE, BORING, WASTE OF TIME.
by alexrealt (movies profile) (Jan 11, 2008)
2 of 3 people found this review helpful
How in the world does this movie make it to the screen??? I mean there are people paid lots of money to watch this atrocity and stop it from stealing... Full Review

Overall Grade: B+
Story: B
Acting: B+
Direction: B+
Visuals: B
good action movie
by hottomalee (movies profile) (Jan 11, 2008)
3 of 8 people found this review helpful
I enjoy action, scifi, and fantasy which this had it all. I liked the actors as well. the only reason I didn't give it an A b/c of the... Full Review

so....who's gonna go see this?

Fuck paying for it, if I did that, he might make more.

/awaits this to come on stage 6 or something, and also awaits Postal.