5punk

The Dominion of RO-BO wrote:The Dominion of RO-BO bids a warm welcome to its lower life from neighbours. We hope with the passing time that some of your more undesirable traits will be wiped out.

Did we say wiped out? We of course meant "selectively evolved".

The Dominion of RO-BO wrote:The Dominion of RO-BO has announced its intentions to claim the frozen wastelands to the north as their own territory. Our dream is to open a frozen beach as an alternative to the "hot and sticky" holiday destinations that many inferior beings seem to prefer.

The pinnacle of this dream will be the construction of the "Super Land Mass Connector Continent Spanner Destination Route" - in short, a bridge. A bloody big bridge. With fancy architecture and swirly bits. Possibly with some gold leaf trimming. And a laser display spectacle. Basically, the first modern wonder of Mongo.

The Most Serene Republic of Brobbins wrote:Greetings to you fellow Mongo inhabitant!

I respect all your beliefs and dreams, we one day hope to be able to holiday on your wonderful Frozen Beaches. We also wish you luck with the bridge construction project, in-fact many of my citizens are keen to fill their spare time with new hobbies and volunteer work (after the successful conclusion of the 25th annual Unicorn Parade) and would be more than glad to assist you should you require any additional manpower or resources (as long as it is sand)

The Holy Empire of Oryctostan wrote: We, The Holy Empire of Oryctostan will not aid you on your attempt to build a bridge, in fact, we will build our own bridge! to your island, so we can purge it from your juvenile inferior life forms. we are looking forward to meeting you in combat, and making Mongo a greater place to live once again!

Signed,

Governor Comrade Johnson.

The Most Serene Republic of Brobbins wrote:What a joyous day this is!, we are all new neighbors and already we are building bridges between the cultural, economic and social divides.

I suggest we hold a 'Meet and greet' conference for us all to get together over a lovely cup of tea and talk about the things that we have in common.

The Most Serene Republic of Brobbins would be humbled to host this conference in Sedate Aequoreus on K'or.

All nations of Mongo are invited!

The Holy Empire of Oryctostan wrote: We accept your invitation, although i insist on an armed escort. history has thought us not to trust nations who preach serenity and peace. However, as a token of our goodwill we shall bring Orytostanian cake as a gift. it is known well throughout Mongo for it's supreme quality (and expensive price tag)

Signed,
Governor Comrade Johnson

Nigel Sharpenstein, travel and infrastructure minister of Braxis VI stared blankly out of the tall steel-framed windows of his office, on the eightieth floor of the glorious government building. The whole floor was in deadly silence, employees fastidiously working away at all sorts of projects, not a word coming from any of their lips.

A number of messages popped up on the screen of his plain black 'Ezeepleeze 9000' computer, a soft chime alerting him as each one lingered for a few seconds before dissapearing. He turned, and checked what had been said - Politicians making ludicrous claims to span continents with bridges - Surely it would make more sense to develop long-haul aviation than build bridges? He sensed an opportunity to make some extra money.

Nigel Sharpenstein wrote:May I say how wonderful it is to see that so many nations are forging links between each other. Though I feel that building bridges between yourselves may be an expensive, and difficult endeavour.

For the distances you wish to travel, offshore fuel depots would have to be built, and I don't suppose you've even considered the matter of pileups or crashes, emergency services with supplies would also need to be dotted along such a bridge.

I propose that Braxis VI provide Tangent Troop Carriers to nations that wish to expand to the polar regions, these large ships have the capacity to hold all of the building supplies you will need to set up colony in the harsh ice lands in the north, along with the personnel required to build such a command post.

However, we will require a 35% cut of all profits made in the polar region, in return for our services, along with a 5 Million Usd deposit, for fuel costs and administration.

Please consider our offer carefully.
Nigel Sharpenstein - Minster of Travel and Infrastructure.

Spotting a rather bold post by one Govenor Comrade Johnson, Nigel forwarded the series of messages to the Braxian Defense minister..

The Most Serene Republic of Brobbins wrote: Open Communication Re. 'Meet & Greet Conference'

Armed escorts are permitted within the city but a maximum of 1 per delegate, they will also be denied entrance to the tea room during discussions. We find armed guards detract slightly from the atmosphere of sharing and understanding. We aim to discuss mutually beneficial trading agreements and an exchange of expertise, if appropriate we may also look at any disputes that have recently surfaced. Please look upon this as an opportunity to open trade and negotiations with your fellow Mongo residents.

Also, there will be cake.

Yours Sincerely,
Tarquin Joy
Minister of Understanding

P.S. Please do not assume that we have no means to deal with troublemakers or defend ourselves

THE GREAT BYKER GROVE MoDoD wrote:
WE WILL ENJOY WATCHING THE OTHER COUNTRIES BUILD AND GROW TOGETHER. WE OFFER FINE ARMS AND CHEESE TO ANY NATION IN DEMAND.

ALL RUMOURS OF AN OTHERTHROWAL OF THE GREAT LORD MCDEVVO ARE INCORRECT AND HIGHLY ILLEGAL. THOSE WHO WANT THE HELP OF OUR GREAT NATION INNIT MUST COLLABORATE IN FINDING THESE RUMOUR SPREADERS AND REHABILITATING THEM.

HAVE A NICE DAY

Tarquin Joy, Minister of Understanding, strolled through a well lit corridor of the humble government office building heading back to his desk. He gazed out of the window onto the sunny esplanade of the Sedate Aequoreus waterfront district before sitting down in his moderately comfortable chair.

He glanced down at the international communications display unit that was affectionately persistant in attracting his attention by jumping up and down on his foot. He picked it up and placed it on his desk to view the new messages.

After several minutes frustrated reading he selected the 'felcher Out Propaganda' option on the display, placed it back on the floor and watched it waddle off out of the room. He placed his feet on the desk and leant back in his chair for an afternoon nap.

Maria grunted softly as she checked her mail, leaning in towards her computer monitor, this looked like a good chance to meet the local natives, no matter how barbaric they were.

Maria Songbird wrote:Re. 'Meet & Greet Conference'

Dear Tarquin Joy,
Braxis will be represented at your meeting, along with a single armed guard.
We very much look forward to the offer of cake.

Maria Songbird - Braxian Ambassador

She leant down to pick up a Braxian standard-issue needle-pistol from the desk drawer, securing it in her boot-holster with a leather strap and press-stud. Hoisting a lightweight ballistic vest over her shirt, she set off to the transport bay - Signalling a guard to come along for the ride.

Though on the maps the distance between Braxis VI and K'Or looked short, it would be a very long ride in conventional transport - this would be the perfect opportunity to take the LongSpear, the journey would take minutes..

This would be her first mission out on Mongo, and she dearly hoped it would be a peaceful one..

Peter Songbird walks toward his car after a long day of work in Tsjoklit. he drives toward the border with Braxis IV, as he does everyday. he looks at an old photo that features a man that clearly resembles peter, along with two children, a boy and a girl. Peter sighs and stares toward the sun setting on Braxis IV...

Official Representative of His Glorious Leader Governor Comrade Johnson wrote:We shall be attending the conference with one armed escort, as we do not wish to violate your laws, we must also urge you to accept our cake, Oryctostanian cake is superior to all other cakes, even though we like the brobbins cake.

Signed,
Governor Comrade Johnson.

The dictator sits quietly in his modernized environment. He enjoyed the rythm of beeping computers. There was something in the wind though. Something delicious. Cake.

Cake... Fruit cake, chocolate cake, non-standard cake.. Cakes are good for your health. A sudden sound disturbed the rythm. E-mail. Cake.

He slowly moved his mouse while whistling the tune of "Still Alive".

Lord Baliamos III. wrote: Meet & Greet Conference

I humbly accept your invitation. Please fill in on cake details as soon as possible.

- Lord Baliamos III.

He hit send and went back thinking about cakes.

Tarquin awoke with a start as the personal message display leapt onto his lap frantically jumping up and down. He read the messages and replied,

Tarquin Joy, Brobbins Minister of Understanding wrote:To Maria Songbird - Braxian Ambassador

Excellent news!, I look forward to your imminent arrival. I will be out to greet you as soon as you arrive, oh I see your ship is on approach!, give me a minute I'll be down in a jiffy

Regards
Tarquin Joy, Minister of Understanding

Tarquin Joy, Brobbins Minister of Understanding wrote:To Governor Comrade Johnson.

Excellent news!, I look forward to your arrival and also to your cake, we are always eager to try new things!

Regards
Tarquin Joy, Minister of Understanding

Tarquin Joy, Brobbins Minister of Understanding wrote:To Lord Baliamos III

Excellent news!, I look forward to your arrival. Here are just a few of the cakes that will be available

Angel Cake
Unicorn Ice Cream Horn
Battenburg
The Marrilion Cliff Tribute Cake
Vanilla crazy Cake

Regards
Tarquin Joy, Minister of Understanding

Tarquin was keen to meet the new neighbors and engage in meaningful exchange, though he was an out and out optimist he was also sensibly cautious, he whistled at the personal message display and it stood to attention ready to receive an order.

"Personal message display - Secure Mode - please contact International Security Minister Fun and ask him to prepare the conference tea room, usual precautions and scanning devices to be prepped."

"Secure mode off - New message, please contact the conference center kitchen and ask them to begin preperation of the cakes, no holds barred, except please dont put 'Death By Chocolate' on the menu again, the last political envoy were quite paranoid!"

Indeed, shortly after that message was sent, the LongSpear Ambassador ship touched down on the Brobbonian landing pads. The ship was far smaller than the Tangent Troop Carriers offered to the developing nations by Nigel - It was about the size of a business plane, two rows of wings at the rear, bristling with futuristic looking engines, which hummed as they began to cool off.

Maria stepped out of the hatch, followed by a guard - a sort of stripped-down Braxian soldier, helmet slung across his back, hybrid rifle secured in a thigh-holster set to safe.

"Good Afternoon, Tarquin.." She began, offering her gloved hand in a handshake.
"It's a pleasure to be invited to K'Or at last, we're very interested in your ideals, and it's certainly refreshing to see a 'Minister of Understanding'.. Definitely something we'll have to consider drawing up in our own government.."

Maria seemed friendly enough, ruffled streaky blonde hair, lips glossed slightly, casual dress.. She looked more like a lightly-armoured office worker than an international ambassador.

"Will there be many other people attending today?" She asked, beckoning the almost automaton-like guard to follow five steps behind them.

A huge shadow brought darkness upon the landing pads. It was circle shaped with a triangular part missing. Like a pacman. Or a cake. Yes, it was a huge cake. A huge flying cake. Out of metal. As it descended, it turned out to be quite small, suitable for carrying 2, perhaps 3 passengers. No doubt, Baliamos should be obsessed with cakes. He stepped off the ship and proceeded towards the two ambassadors.

Behind him walked a guard, carrying a middle-sized gun and in his pocket he had a knife. He was also wearing a helmet, so his face remains unseen. Both him and Baliamos had light armor on, made of some sort of metal. Baliamos had short, dark brown hair nearly the same color eyes. His facial expressions told a lot of things about him - he was an iron-fisted dictator, but not an unpleasant person. He was carrying a gift, probably a speciality of Xolotyl.

Baliame wrote:Behind him walked a guard, carrying a middle-sized gun and in his pocket he had a knife.

OOC: A cake knife?

Arbuthnot Ping, Vice Junior Under Secretary Seconded to the Junior Junior Under Commissioner for the Department of Judicial, Civil and International Correspondence Filing, scurried down the white marble corridor, a sheafs of official looking synth-paper tucked under one arm.

As a motorized personal office scooter darted out of one corrider, a cacophany of whistles and bells allegedly signalling the driver was o his way to an important meeting (funny how these meetings always seem to be around lunch time, he thought), and almost knocked him flying, Arbuthnot reflected that it hadn't been the easiest couple of days.

Three days ago, A Ping - married, father of two, owner of one class 3 robotic transport horse (the envy of all his neighbours but none of his friends or family who either all had better jobs, or nebulous connections with shifty characters who could provide things cheap) - had held the position of Cabinet Secretary in the office of Archive Filing. For clarity that will soon become relevant, the "Cabinet" in his job title actually referred to a filing cabinet, rather than that of the faux-Governement. Alas due to poor communication, impenetrable bureaucracy and, ultimately, poor filing, Arbuthnot was soon promoted to a position that was far beyond his capabilities. With previously unheard of alacrity, the powers that be soon realised their mistake and dropped Ping back down to the bottom (well not quite, his old job having been given to an elderly tea lady, they were forced to a departmental reshuffle which, for reason unclear at present, resulted in homicide being legalised for a chaotic half hour on a wet Tuesday afternoon).

So, back to the now, Ping scurries, synth-papers in hand, trying to track down someone to put their official stamp on the "International Statement". It would have been much easier on one of the office computers, but they were all currently networked together attempting to run through the expense accounts of several Senior Junior Ministers. So far there had been three fires and one rogue AI outbreak that reversed the water flow in the ground floor women's toilets.

Arriving at a large, polished brass door, Ping knocks, is ushered in, asked about the weather, whether he likes weather, and why women wither in the sun if left for too long (it being past 12 o'clock the official has already had several generous pourings of a green, viscous brew known colloquially as Guk!). Finally signed and sealed, Ping is ready to transmit the message to the other inhabitants of Mongo.

The Lord High Junior Secretary Overseeing Official Declarations Concerning State Visits, Alien Invasions, Fishing Rights and Ocelots wrote:We'll see you there.

Somehow, thinks Arbuthnot, that didn't really seem worth it.

Grimmie wrote: OOC: A cake knife?

OOC: Obviously...

Roman Totale wrote:things

OOC:

Blimey, I can't wait to read when something significant happens (PS. I'll wait until the others have had a chance to respond before starting the conference proper)

5punk

The Great Bridge (IC)

The Great Bridge (IC)