5punk

I don't think I would be able to smush it flat and leave it, merely make it then dive straight in and gorge myself on meat and bread.

Plus I wouldn't ruin it with mushrooms.

In the words of one comment, "Sweet zombie jesus but that sounds good!"

Experimental sea bass.

Raw shot, because it looks pretty good.


Dinnins.


Oven at 225 for 25 minutes ended up with really nicely cooked feesh

Overall, ended up a little bitter, less lemon (maybe none) next time.

Oh yeah, and didn't pre-cook the asparagus at all, because I wanted meatier notes than steaming supplies (tip of the day, dry cooking asparagus = deep and meaty, wet cooking = bright and planty)

Dr. kitteny berk wrote:Experimental sea bass.

Raw shot, because it looks pretty good.


Dinnins.


Oven at 225 for 25 minutes ended up with really nicely cooked feesh

Overall, ended up a little bitter, less lemon (maybe none) next time.

Oh yeah, and didn't pre-cook the asparagus at all, because I wanted meatier notes than steaming supplies (tip of the day, dry cooking asparagus = deep and meaty, wet cooking = bright and planty)

Om nom nom

Tasty fishy!

Samosas:
Don't do it, it's a fucking pain.

This is very much a time to learn to taste your food as you cook, as once it's wrapped up, you can't fix it.

Ingredients:
1KG Meat (cow or lamb) minced. (if using lamb, it might be worth frying it off first to render some of the fat out)
2-3 tsp cumin (ideally toast the seeds, then grind them yourself)
1 Large onion chopped finely
3 Cloves Garlic chopped finely
6-10 Green chillis, chopped finely, seeds in. (depends how hot you like food, I used 6 and it was nice, but a bit too subtle, I reckon 8 should be fine for most)
1.5tsp Tumeric
Handful of coriander, chopped.
2tsp ginger.
Lemon juice.
1 Tbl Oil for frying.
Salt.

Spring roll wrappers (available at your local chinese supermarket) or Filo pastry.

Bit of flour/water mixed to make some glue.

1L of oil

Method:

Heat frying pan over medium heat, throw onion in, cook a bit.
Throw the garlic, cumin, ginger and chilli in.
Add the meat, cook until brown, add turmeric and coriander.

Remove from the heat to cool, add lemon juice to taste (seriously, this helps a lot)

Right, that's the easy bit done, now for suffering.

It took me a few goes to get into the rhythm, but it's not too bad after that.

Get your pastry, and cut it into rectangles (I just cut the square wrappers I had in half)

Place a rectangle of pastry on your board, paint an L shape of the flour glue you made on the left side.

<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kitteny_berk/5580455612/" title="IMG_7656 by Kitteny Berk, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5185/558 ... 8ec1f4.jpg" width="500" height="333" alt="IMG_7656"></a>

In the top middle bit (see photo) put a large teaspoon of your filling, squeeze out some air, then fold like so.

<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kitteny_berk/5579859693/" title="IMG_7651 by Kitteny Berk, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5133/557 ... b85eb7.jpg" width="500" height="333" alt="IMG_7651"></a>
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kitteny_berk/5579869609/" title="IMG_7657 by Kitteny Berk, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5137/557 ... 42db_m.jpg" width="240" height="160" alt="IMG_7657"></a> <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kitteny_berk/5580458856/" title="IMG_7658 by Kitteny Berk, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5022/558 ... 527c_m.jpg" width="240" height="160" alt="IMG_7658"></a>
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kitteny_berk/5580460646/" title="IMG_7659 by Kitteny Berk, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5052/558 ... 007d_m.jpg" width="240" height="160" alt="IMG_7659"></a>

Then fold the last edges over, using the glue to stick them. Should end up something like this

<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kitteny_berk/5580464102/" title="IMG_7661 by Kitteny Berk, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5183/558 ... 9d1d8b.jpg" width="500" height="333" alt="IMG_7661"></a>

Carry on for a fucking week.

<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kitteny_berk/5580465696/" title="IMG_7662 by Kitteny Berk, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5223/558 ... 035025.jpg" width="500" height="333" alt="IMG_7662"></a>

At this point, you can arrange them on parchment and freeze them, then bag them up once frozen, should keep until the rapture or so.

To Cook:
Stick that litre or so of oil into a nice stable, heavy pan and heat it to around 200c.

Cook the Samosas for 2-3 minutes, until golden and awesome looking. 3 minutes is plenty from frozen, too.

Remove onto a clean teatowel, or some kitchen roll to drain.

<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kitteny_berk/5582096252/" title="IMG_7665 by Kitteny Berk, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5301/558 ... d25aec.jpg" width="500" height="333" alt="IMG_7665"></a>

Stuff face.

I've done them, but they can be a massive pain in the arse. I'm of the opinion the veg ones are the best and use small cubes of potato and carrot fried with onion, garlic and a few frozen peas with some spices usually containing cumin seeds whole.

You should only need to glue one edge if you do them like this, but this guy is much better at them than I am and not only makes them into an easily-filled cone, but tucks in the edges and makes them look proper.

Filo works if you are deep-frying them, but an alternative is to use puff pastry and bake them in the oven. Since it's a stickier dough and you have to roll it out you can make them by folding semicircles twice to form a cone for filling, then just squishing the gap closed.

I was finding I had 2 edges flapping in the wind, probably because I wasn't paying a huge amount of attention, so glued both, just to ensure a better seal.

And yep, they are a massive, massive pain in the arse, and the lower back.

Just a quicky.

Chicken chow mein.

Ingredients:

Chicken tit(s), cut into smallish strips.
Onion, cut into smallish segments, root removed.
Carrot, sliced thiiiiin (use your potato peeler)
Noodles
Beansprouts
Soy Sauce
Bit of Oil.

Optional:
Any other veg you have, spring onions or peppers would be nice
Sliced chilli or a few drops of shiracha if you want some spice



Method:
Prep the fuck out of everything, pretend you're delia.

Get your pan/wok really fucking hot, add the oil and onions, stir around and cook until going a bit soft.

Add the chicken, keep it moving until it doesn't feel squidgy any more. (ie. it's cooked)

Add carrots/other veg/spices stir for a minute.

Add noodles and beansprouts, stir up a load, give a fair splash of soy (but not too much, can't take it out if you make the dead sea)

Stick a lid on, wait for a minute or 2, stir and check if everything's hot.

<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kitteny_berk/5381938551/" title="IMG_7360 by Kitteny Berk, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5046/538 ... dfaedf.jpg" width="500" height="333" alt="IMG_7360"></a>
(I suspect this pork, but same method, different meat)

Stuff face.

ive been experimenting with stir fries recently, i should write something up when i next do one.

using rice instead of noodles in that chow mein will give you nommy fried rice, thats pretty much the same method i use when doing fried rice, maybe with added peas

shot2bits wrote:ive been experimenting with stir fries recently, i should write something up when i next do one.

using rice instead of noodles in that chow mein will give you nommy fried rice, thats pretty much the same method i use when doing fried rice, maybe with added peas

speaks truth, also very basic omelette/scrambled egg to get the 1996 egg fried rice thing going on.

Berk's Unified theory of Fried Chicken.

Right, I've actually been applying some thought and science to my fried chicken recipe, rather than guessing. End result is this, has been tested on all conventionally edible parts of a chicken.

You kinda can shallow-ish fry this, but it's so much easier to deep fry.

Ingredients:
Chicken, whatever bits you like, skinless.
Plain Flour
1 tsp Salt (maldon)
2tsp Smoked paprika
1-4tsp Chilli powder (how much depends on your enjoyment of pain, and the strength of your chilli powder - 1tsp of death rain is ideal for me.)
50ml sriracha
500ml cold water

<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kitteny_berk/5585341215/" title="IMG_7670 by Kitteny Berk, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5067/558 ... 492209.jpg" width="500" height="333" alt="IMG_7670"></a>


Weaponry:
1L cooking oil
Cast iron saucepan
Probe thermometer (or 2)
Coupla bowls
Stuff to put out the fire if you fuck up badly

Method:
You can do all of this prep as far in advance as you like.

How you prepare your chicken depends on what lumps of meat you have, and how you're eating it, I like to just butterfly breasts if I'm sticking it in bread, breast strips for in a wrap, or I'll just use thighs/legs for dirty face stuffing type behavior.

<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kitteny_berk/5585950828/" title="IMG_7680 by Kitteny Berk, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5106/558 ... 061b80.jpg" width="500" height="369" alt="IMG_7680"></a>

Throw the sriracha and water into a smallish bowl or flat container and whisk them together. Throw your prepared chicken in this and leave for a while if you want, it's not essential, but it can help the flavour.

<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kitteny_berk/5585942606/" title="IMG_7674 by Kitteny Berk, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5302/558 ... 568f_m.jpg" width="240" height="160" alt="IMG_7674"></a> <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kitteny_berk/5585351977/" title="IMG_7678 by Kitteny Berk, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5305/558 ... 39cf_m.jpg" width="240" height="160" alt="IMG_7678"></a>
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kitteny_berk/5585360885/" title="IMG_7680 by Kitteny Berk, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5094/558 ... e35c_z.jpg" width="500" height="369" alt="IMG_7680"></a>

Chuck the flour, salt, chilli powder and paprika into another bowl and mix together. I suggest tasting it, just to make sure you've not made something hotter than the sun on a hot day.

<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kitteny_berk/5585344337/" title="IMG_7672 by Kitteny Berk, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5310/558 ... 4896_m.jpg" width="240" height="160" alt="IMG_7672"></a> <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kitteny_berk/5585347081/" title="IMG_7673 by Kitteny Berk, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5134/558 ... 2d58_m.jpg" width="240" height="160" alt="IMG_7673"></a>


When you're ready to cook...

Put vast quantities of oil into your pan of choice (don't fill more than half way up) I like a nice heavy cast iron pan for this, the heat stays nice and stable, which is nice. Stick it over high heat with your thermometer in the oil, we're aiming for 180-190c.

<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kitteny_berk/5585363407/" title="IMG_7682 by Kitteny Berk, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5100/558 ... 9c845c.jpg" width="500" height="333" alt="IMG_7682"></a>

While the oil heats up, start coating the chicken (only use one hand for this)

Work one piece of chicken at a time, first dip it in the liquid so it's covered on both sides then into the flour, do this three times, as it gives the best coating. Put the coated bits to one side, or leave them in the flour. Keep the FLOURY FINGERS OF DEATH you've developed, they're really handy.

<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kitteny_berk/5585958454/" title="IMG_7683 by Kitteny Berk, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5092/558 ... 4cab_m.jpg" width="240" height="160" alt="IMG_7683"></a> <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kitteny_berk/5585368355/" title="IMG_7684 by Kitteny Berk, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5142/558 ... 3fe8_m.jpg" width="240" height="160" alt="IMG_7684"></a>
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kitteny_berk/5585371191/" title="IMG_7686 by Kitteny Berk, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5063/558 ... 3789_m.jpg" width="240" height="160" alt="IMG_7686"></a> <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kitteny_berk/5585966630/" title="IMG_7687 by Kitteny Berk, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5063/558 ... d383_m.jpg" width="240" height="160" alt="IMG_7687"></a>
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kitteny_berk/5585969496/" title="IMG_7688 by Kitteny Berk, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5229/558 ... 0d31_m.jpg" width="240" height="160" alt="IMG_7688"></a> <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kitteny_berk/5585379881/" title="IMG_7689 by Kitteny Berk, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5023/558 ... 5fe9_m.jpg" width="240" height="160" alt="IMG_7689"></a>
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kitteny_berk/5585975448/" title="IMG_7690 by Kitteny Berk, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5229/558 ... 8238_m.jpg" width="240" height="160" alt="IMG_7690"></a> <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kitteny_berk/5585385821/" title="IMG_7691 by Kitteny Berk, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5300/558 ... 767b_m.jpg" width="240" height="160" alt="IMG_7691"></a>
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kitteny_berk/5585388923/" title="IMG_7693 by Kitteny Berk, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5060/558 ... 3349_m.jpg" width="240" height="160" alt="IMG_7693"></a> <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kitteny_berk/5585391697/" title="IMG_7694 by Kitteny Berk, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5105/558 ... 0ebc_m.jpg" width="240" height="160" alt="IMG_7694"></a>

Once your oil is up to temperature, take a piece of your coated chicken and place the end of it in the oil, slowly and gently lay the chicken into the oil, the aim is to get the coating to start cooking without it hitting the bottom of the pan, or sticking to other bits of chicken. This is where the FLOURY FINGERS OF DEATH come in, they stop your fingers burning.

<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kitteny_berk/5585394283/" title="IMG_7695 by Kitteny Berk, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5059/558 ... 85fa_m.jpg" width="240" height="160" alt="IMG_7695"></a> <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kitteny_berk/5585396901/" title="IMG_7698 by Kitteny Berk, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5185/558 ... b6b4_m.jpg" width="240" height="160" alt="IMG_7698"></a>
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kitteny_berk/5585399715/" title="IMG_7699 by Kitteny Berk, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5265/558 ... a7c1_m.jpg" width="240" height="160" alt="IMG_7699"></a> <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kitteny_berk/5585402411/" title="IMG_7700 by Kitteny Berk, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5011/558 ... 18d1_m.jpg" width="240" height="160" alt="IMG_7700"></a>
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kitteny_berk/5585407039/" title="IMG_7702 by Kitteny Berk, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5264/558 ... 0432_m.jpg" width="240" height="160" alt="IMG_7702"></a> <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kitteny_berk/5586001994/" title="IMG_7703 by Kitteny Berk, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5171/558 ... bfb8_m.jpg" width="240" height="160" alt="IMG_7703"></a>

Cook in small batches, don't overcrowd your pan, I can get away with 1 butterflied breast, 4-5 strips, 1 leg, or 2 thighs/drumsticks.

Once your chicken is in, keep an eye on the oil temperature, it'll be a fair bit lower than it was, get it back up to 180, then (if needed) adjust to keep it there.
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kitteny_berk/5585412477/" title="IMG_7704 by Kitteny Berk, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5064/558 ... 75f72b.jpg" width="500" height="333" alt="IMG_7704"></a>

Give breasts/strips 5 minutes or so (7-8 for drumsticks, 10-12 for thighs), then fish a bit out with some tongs and take their temperature (79c is cooked for chicken) if they're cooked remove onto some kitchen roll, if not, cook until they are.

<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kitteny_berk/5585415139/" title="IMG_7705 by Kitteny Berk, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5181/558 ... 73f83c.jpg" width="500" height="333" alt="IMG_7705"></a>

<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kitteny_berk/5586010392/" title="IMG_7706 by Kitteny Berk, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5101/558 ... 4f2768.jpg" width="500" height="333" alt="IMG_7706"></a>

Serve with whatever takes your pick, I like mayo and tabasco for face stuffing, for wraps/rolls I like mayo, lots of thick slices of tomato and some nice crisp salad.
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kitteny_berk/5586012924/" title="IMG_7707 by Kitteny Berk, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5258/558 ... 6a8c5c.jpg" width="500" height="333" alt="IMG_7707"></a>

Finger lickin' good?

Last time I did fried chicken I used corn oil for the frying - adds a nice flavour to it.

Roman Totale wrote:Finger lickin' good?

Last time I did fried chicken I used corn oil for the frying - adds a nice flavour to it.

Indeed.

I've not tried corn oil, I just use 1L of whatever is cheap, as the coating kills the oil pretty successfully.

Food safety question.

I just made some mayo, the eggs have 10 days left on them, does the enmayoification change this?

My gut feeling is yes, as you add a load of acid and stuff, and that shop bought mayo lasts forever.

But I'm not sure. thoughts?

Random quick search gave me this. God knows quality of info.

Basically, manufactured mayo used pasteurised eggs so it lasts a long time. A little bit of acid doesn't extended your fresh egg life by much. Also, even if the Hellmans says 10 years, you'll still need to use it within a couple of months of opening, so it doesn't last that long.

Sounds as reasonable as anything.

Mayo survival once opened has never been an issue, for some reason.

Pretty much covers it. The stabilisers and pasteurisation lend the longevity to the product.

The use by on eggs is a total lie though, if you keep them cool they'll last a lot longer than it suggests, it's more like a bbe.

I'd suggest giving it the usual sniff and taste if you have any left by Monday and the middle of next week would be when I bin it, but I'm not a fan of listeria and salmonella after catching both at various points so you might well want to push it further.

HereComesPete wrote:The use by on eggs is a total lie though, if you keep them cool they'll last a lot longer than it suggests.

All of the truth, we keep our eggs outside of the fridge and they last at least a month. We keep our own chickens though, but I'm not sure how that influences things.