5punk

Killavodka wrote:
You have got mixed up with

<img src="http://www.kg2k.co.uk/YTOcutout.jpg">

*note the haggard editing, MSpaint ftw*

:O



J00 FAIL! yorkshire are teh pit of satan!


who won teh war of teh roses anyway

RED LABEL TEABAGS FTMFW!

cheap and tasty...

method 1

1. put teabag in cup/mug while water boils.
2. once water has reached boiling point pour water into cup, not down your trousers, as this can cause problems with the reproductive system and cause grotesque scold marks.
3. put milk in, i like my tea fairly milky so i put a couple of splashes in
4. squeeze the fuck outa the teabag to avoid brewing, i seem to find this fullfilling to reduce stress and sequal frustration, and i actually think it makes a tasty tea. but make sure the bag doesnt split.
5. once the tea is a half cast of milky water and rust, add sugar, i have 1.
6. stir untill you are content and tea doesnt look scummy.
7. drink
8. ......
9. PROFITS!!!!

method 2.
follow the steps from method 1 up until step 4
1. leave the teabag floating around the cup/mug for a while, you may wish to dunk the bag in a few times, you can then commence in adolescent sniggering while thinking of teabagging to pass the long wait ahead.
2. after the tea has been brewing for a while and the water is a good colour, add milk* take the teabag out.
3. add suger and stir 30 times clockwise and 10 times anticlockwise.
4. drink


*i prefer to put the milk in just after putting the water in for brewing but most people get shot for this sort of practise.

THE END!

*edit*

method 3.
1. ask mum
2. wait until tea is ready
3. drink


biscuits are a VERY important factor to tea, always have them handy for dunking, i find sainsburys bourbons are great for this, rich teas and custart creams also work. none of these mcvities chocolate coated biscuit nonsense, it just doesnt work. you get chocolate all over your thumb of forefinger which ruins the experience

My Dad's method:
1. Put teabags or tealeaves in teapot
2. Boil kettle
3. Boil kettle again because you forgot about it and it's gone cold
4. Pour water into teapot
5. Pour into cups and microwave because you forgot about it and it's gone cold again
6. Serve
7. Forget to drink it

My Mum's method:
1. Accidentally make coffee instead

My Sister's method (inherited from my Gran):
1. Pour boiling water into cup
2. Open cupboard containing tea bags
3. Quickly close cupboard before too much "essence of tea" can escape
4. Serve

My method:
1. Pour boiling water onto teabag in cup
2. Mash the fuck out of it impatiently
3. Discover I haven't got any milk

FatherJack wrote:comedy tea brewing methods

My brother's method of making tea:

1. Wake up
2. Shout to Mum to indicate the fact that he's awake
3. Get up and dressed, wander downstairs
4. Pick up lunch and cup of tea (strong, 2 sugars) that are sat waiting for him
5. Drink tea on way into work, spill half of it on my car seat, the bastard
6. Leave mug in car, take it into house after I've picked him up from work
7. Use it again tomorrow, without washing it. Dirty fucker.

Teabags are the devil's nut-sac. I always use loose tea brewed in a teapot or at worst in the mug using a diffuser. Usually it's PG Tips loose tea or if I'm feeling like a fancy tea, English Breakfast or Assam. That aside I have no view on the milk first/last argument, but I never use boiling water but as close as and I never use re-boiled water as teh oxygen content is lower and the tea doesn't brew properly.

But narf I prefer sticky black sweet coffee.

Jin wrote:But narf I prefer sticky black sweaty coffee.

me too

This is typical of 5punk. I go away for five days and among the three index pages of posts I need to read there's a FIVE PAGE discussion on fucking tea! Well I'm not reading it all, so there.

Anhamgrimmar wrote:
:O



J00 FAIL! yorkshire are teh pit of satan!


who won teh war of teh roses anyway

amen, yorkshire tea blows


i myself drink bags of this daily and this , loose, on special occasions


mmmm

PS where can i acquire one of these 1pint mugs?

Well, everyone knows:

Coffe > Tea.

Nickface wrote:Well, everyone knows:

5punk > Tea.

Fix'd

Anhamgrimmar wrote:who won teh war of teh roses anyway

Lancashire. By very underhanded methods involving priests assassinating important Yorkshiremen I think. Go us!

Dog Pants wrote:important Yorkshiremen

fix'd for linkage

After a bit of research while bored at work is seems I may be wrong about the ninja vicars. Pity. Lancashire did win though.

They did 'win' the Wars of the Roses. However these wars had little to do with Yorkshire and Lancashire, and more to do with the chinless aristocrats of the time further reducing their own gene pool by using the plebs of those counties to further their own ends.

Did get rid of the French though.

/thin grasp of history

Dr. kitteny berk wrote:

I have no idea what you mean

Sheriff Fatman wrote:They did 'win' the Wars of the Roses. However these wars had little to do with Yorkshire and Lancashire, and more to do with the chinless aristocrats of the time further reducing their own gene pool by using the plebs of those counties to further their own ends.

Did get rid of the French though.

/thin grasp of history

This is all true, from what I read. I didn't really want to turn a thread about tea into a history lesson though.

For the record, I hate coffee and like Earl Grey (with milk and one sugar, haharr!). I also can't drink tea in the morning for some reason.

/philistine

Tonight my dad made a teapot full of coffee...