Posted: December 2nd, 2008, 10:40
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Posted: December 2nd, 2008, 11:50
Fans were buoyed today by the Throbbing Magentas closing in on rivals Flanges at the top of the table. Manager Hackett was happy to take all the credit, though some commentators feel the Mags game improved markedly without his influence in the second half on Saturday's local derby against Flaccid Purple after Hackett was sick on the touchline just before half-time and had to been taken away in an ambulance.
Posted: December 2nd, 2008, 12:27
At a press conference outside his house, Sporting Kitesy manager Dog Pants, wearing his dressing gown, declared "They want me to get involved every weekend. I have kids, you know. Nobody said anything about weekends. Besides, don't we pay those players enough to use their initiative?"
Posted: December 9th, 2008, 8:51
An excerpt from the Little Cockboro Observer, our local paper:
Points scored in League
by Charlotte Arse
This week some points were scored in the league that our local team The Throbbing Magentas are in. Some more points were scored by the team in front of us, but less points by the two teams behind us. Mathematically this means things stay the same as they were last week. The manager used some tactics on the pitch which may or may not have paid off, and the players kicked the ball. Sometimes the ball went off the pitch and a man threw it back on again and once it went in a net and everybody cheered. One man kicked another man by mistake and a man in black told him off and made him sit in the changing rooms. It also rained.
Points scored in League
by Charlotte Arse
This week some points were scored in the league that our local team The Throbbing Magentas are in. Some more points were scored by the team in front of us, but less points by the two teams behind us. Mathematically this means things stay the same as they were last week. The manager used some tactics on the pitch which may or may not have paid off, and the players kicked the ball. Sometimes the ball went off the pitch and a man threw it back on again and once it went in a net and everybody cheered. One man kicked another man by mistake and a man in black told him off and made him sit in the changing rooms. It also rained.
Posted: December 9th, 2008, 16:55
What were the pies like?
Posted: December 10th, 2008, 12:31
Pies
by Charlotte Arse
Terrible.
by Charlotte Arse
Terrible.
Posted: January 9th, 2009, 19:21
Lat's ProTip - both Wigan and Man U are playing twice this gameweek, so their players are probably good ones to include if you have them on the bench, or haven't made your transfer for the week yet.
Posted: January 12th, 2009, 12:58
Fucking awful week, don't want to talk about it 
Notts County won though :D
Notts County won though :D
Posted: February 9th, 2009, 8:29
More from the Little Cockboro Observer: (I'm not sure how long Charlotte will remain as our Sports Editor)
Best but not actually the best, huh, what's that all about?
by Charlotte Arse
Apparently my previous coverage wasn't in depth enough or something, well whatever, it's only a stupid game. Instead this week we hear from the manager, who interestingly is not like a manager like in a shop of say like Menswear or Electrical Goods or Kitchenware or one of the other departments in a shop, but is in fact different. Here's what Throbbing Magenta's manager Hackett had to say: "I'm delighted that we're still the #1 team in the league without Ronaldo in". When quizzed about the significance of this he replied "it'll be a cold day in hell before I have that little sh*tbag in any team of mine and what you know anyway, you dizzy bint? You've only got that job 'cos your dad runs the paper".
I had a look and Throbbing Magentas currently lie in the #2 position in the league, that's the second position, the one after #1, Ha!
Best but not actually the best, huh, what's that all about?
by Charlotte Arse
Apparently my previous coverage wasn't in depth enough or something, well whatever, it's only a stupid game. Instead this week we hear from the manager, who interestingly is not like a manager like in a shop of say like Menswear or Electrical Goods or Kitchenware or one of the other departments in a shop, but is in fact different. Here's what Throbbing Magenta's manager Hackett had to say: "I'm delighted that we're still the #1 team in the league without Ronaldo in". When quizzed about the significance of this he replied "it'll be a cold day in hell before I have that little sh*tbag in any team of mine and what you know anyway, you dizzy bint? You've only got that job 'cos your dad runs the paper".
I had a look and Throbbing Magentas currently lie in the #2 position in the league, that's the second position, the one after #1, Ha!