Geekfood Mk2.

buzzmong · Post by **buzzmong** » March 14th, 2008, 22:19

Today I had fried potato slices fried in butter. They were nice, much better than using oil.

/student contribution.

Post by **Dr. kitteny berk** » March 17th, 2008, 22:59

Oh. Dear. God.

Post by **HereComesPete** » March 18th, 2008, 11:35

Fucking tinned fucking mince again! Delia's fucking pantry is just a fucking wank fest of expensive shit! And what's with the nutritionist she goes to see?!

Silly nutritionist bitch wrote:duuh tinned is just as good as fresh from the butcher an stuff

Bullshit it is!

And then she uses a load of stuff out of tins and tubs then calls it authentic Italian food, moar bullshit! And then she laughs and jokes about her mum being really fucking old and speeding, you'll not be laughing when the silly old bint runs someone down!

But then... meat! Proper meat and lots of tasty things put on it and it looks rather tasty and she builds the dish, like she said she wouldn't. The one thing that people who fail in the kitchen would have learnt is that you can get this stuff in a pot that you can put on a steak and cook and it's quite good. As for cooking it... er 4 no 5, maybe 6 minutes? hmm, what if my steak is sirloin, or it's a lot thicker than the one on the telly? But it's so fucking tasty looking and I'm thinking is she going to stop the verbal effluence and actually produce food...

...then CANNED FUCKING MEAT AGAIN! Canned mince and canned seafood, CANNED SEAFOOD! What the piss!

And then god/christianity, what has that rather outmoded concept got to do with cookery? And then art, with some crazy old nun who totally puts her down because Delia failed in merka, again, what's that got to do with food?

Finally, a soup made from runny shit, cognac, tinned crab and dressed lobster, why would none foodies who don't care about stuff be buying dressed lobster?

Overall it's still fail because the premise is misguided and directionless. She just chucks stuff out of tins and jars into a pan, occasionally telling you what it actually was, this won't help non-foodies at all. And she insists on talking about unrelated crap just because she's some sort of British icon or whatever.

You may wonder if I'll do this each week, watch it even though it's shit and then tear it apart because it's shit. I could just pretend that it doesn't exist, but unfortunately that attitude leads to genocide and famine.

spoodie · Post by **spoodie** » March 18th, 2008, 11:54

I saw a bit of that. I like how she said that people are going to be "really excited about tinned meat" (or something like that). Yeah, if they're in a post apocalyptic war zone.

Post by **HereComesPete** » March 18th, 2008, 11:56

Even the m&s (I think) woman was surprised at the recommendation for tinned meat, I doubt they'll expand their range much. Imagine the advert - 'it's not just tinned meat, it's m&s tinned meat...'

amblin · Post by **amblin** » March 18th, 2008, 12:22

spoodie · Post by **spoodie** » March 18th, 2008, 14:51

amblin wrote:I think you should, it saves me the utter pain of having to watch this bollocks, whilst still feeling able to wax lyrical about how much Delia's gone nuts.

I used insight by proxy whilst having a pub lunch on Friday.

buzzmong · Post by **buzzmong** » March 18th, 2008, 15:26

Dr. kitteny berk wrote:Oh. Dear. God.

What? I didn't have much food left and going shopping would be a waste as I went home on saturday.

Post by **Dr. kitteny berk** » March 18th, 2008, 16:14

buzzmong wrote:What? I didn't have much food left and going shopping would be a waste as I went home on saturday.

I'd've quoted you if i was repling to you.

I'd just seen delia's spag bol.

buzzmong · Post by **buzzmong** » March 18th, 2008, 16:15

S'ok then Berk.

Post by **Dr. kitteny berk** » March 18th, 2008, 16:17

buzzmong wrote:I'd've?

S'ok then Berk.

Perfectly valid english, dirty, but valid

buzzmong · Post by **buzzmong** » March 18th, 2008, 16:22

Bugger me, Berk. That was 30 seconds before I edited it because I realised it wasn't wrong, just horrible.

I swear you get on the interwebs via some sort of direct brain link up.

Post by **Dr. kitteny berk** » March 18th, 2008, 16:24

buzzmong wrote:Bugger me, Berk. That was 30 seconds before I edited it because I realised it wasn't wrong, just horrible.

I swear you get on the interwebs via some sort of direct brain link up.

Nah, you just log on to my brain using a computer.

Post by **Dr. kitteny berk** » March 19th, 2008, 2:48

HereComesPete wrote:Raaant.

I did like the nutritionist's careful wording.

"nothing gets destroyed in the canning process, so you'll still have the same amount of iron and fibre from the vegetables in there"

Technically she's right, all of the nutrients in the meat stay there, it's just they're minimal to begin with, given you're probably looking at 250g of nose & scrote in a 400g can.

That and Delia's "this hasn't got anything at all, it's just pure ingredients" jar of crap with the nutritionist shooting her down due to the added salt. (which Delia hits the woman for, and discounts it)

and "You do need to be careful that the salt in the products that you're using doesn't add up to more than you should be taking in during a day"

It's also worth remembering (correct me if I'm wrong) a lot of vitamins are destroyed by cooking, which you can minimise by not over cooking stuff. Rather than say, getting it out of a can (already very, very cooked) then cooking it a bit more, just to be sure.

Oh, and then you're expected to just keep cans of seafood around, which will last, then make soup using a jar of fish stock, which will either have a shelf life in days, or more preservatives than your average Damien Hirst work.

I suspect the recipes are not easy, convenient, nutritious and are quite possible inedible due to salt content.

Post by **FatherJack** » March 19th, 2008, 4:39

[img size=150]http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a115/ ... 01c5_1.jpg[/img]1971[img size=150]http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a115/ ... 01bb_1.jpg[/img]1973[img size=150]http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a115/ ... ab1a_1.jpg[/img]1982[img size=150]http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a115/ ... ZZZZZ_.jpg[/img]2008

I watched the last one and I kind of get where she's coming from - kind of. I find it difficult to dislike her, infact feel a bit sorry for her on occasion as she's pushed into situations she's not really qualified for.

She's not a nutritionist (and looked like a rabbit in the headlights when the real ones spotted the salt content) and confessed in a programme I saw about her that she's not even really a very good cook.

So this new series is pretty much based on her "new" book - a rehash of her old one, farcically shown on the BBC where she has to cover up all the brand names. Things have changed a bit though, while she might be excited about all the new things in supermarkets, only last year we were warned of the health risks of eating too many processed meat products.

It seems aimed at people her own age, in the same sort of social circles. Her claims of affordability are obvious bullshit - this is for lazy, yet impatient cooks who don't mind paying extra for convenience, although those with heart problems who need to be careful about their sodium intake should beware.

It's a tiny micro-step up for those who have progressed from putting a ready meal into a microwave to using an Uncle Ben's stir-fry sauce and are starting to feel a sense of achievement and interest in cooking, but are too scared to experiment.

I applaud the sentiment, but to leave out any proper mention of the health issues is just plain irresponsible - the well publicised "Delia effect" means these ingredients will be sell-outs in stores. Also an opportunity is missed by leaving out/downplaying use of fresh ingredients - as these are where the real joy of cooking lies, and can be incredibly easy once you're shown how to prepare them, she threw a few fresh veg into a mini-chopper at one point - and that's fine - it's just it was so underplayed when it could have been the focus of the dish.

For me, I'd be embarassed buying ready-made mash or tinned mince, but potatoes can be a pain in the arse and I'll not be getting a crab or lobster out of it's shell anytime soon, though I'm also partial to a bit of tinned tuna or corned beef on occassion.

The green can she was clutching at the start of the nutritionist segment was indeed M&S tinned lamb mince - I checked them out at the weekend, as well as their tinned beef mince (which the shepard's Pie recipe mentions as a standby) but didn't buy them as the queue was too long.

They did both contain plenty of salt, onion and other things you wouldn't get from just cooking some mince up, so I bought a tin of Tesco minced beef + onion to trial. It was pretty nasty, I've tasted better quality meat in some of those strange-looking Polish products, and I could only eat about half of it.

Post by **Dr. kitteny berk** » March 19th, 2008, 5:03

FatherJack wrote:So this new series is pretty much based on her "new" book - a rehash of her old one, farcically shown on the BBC where she has to cover up all the brand names. Things have changed a bit though, while she might be excited about all the new things in supermarkets, only last year we were warned of the health risks of eating too many processed meat products.

It seems aimed at people her own age, in the same sort of social circles. Her claims of affordability are obvious bullshit - this is for lazy, yet impatient cooks who don't mind paying extra for convenience, although those with heart problems who need to be careful about their sodium intake should beware.

It's a tiny micro-step up for those who have progressed from putting a ready meal into a microwave to using an Uncle Ben's stir-fry sauce and are starting to feel a sense of achievement and interest in cooking, but are too scared to experiment.

I applaud the sentiment, but to leave out any proper mention of the health issues is just plain irresponsible - the well publicised "Delia effect" means these ingredients will be sell-outs in stores. Also an opportunity is missed by leaving out/downplaying use of fresh ingredients - as these are where the real joy of cooking lies, and can be incredibly easy once you're shown how to prepare them, she threw a few fresh veg into a mini-chopper at one point - and that's fine - it's just it was so underplayed when it could have been the focus of the dish.

All of this, especially the emboldened bit.

I've not read her older cheat books, but one of the good things about Delia is that she is a dirty cheat, a lot of her recipes have little tricks in to stop stuff going wrong, which is great for home cooking.

I still maintain that what she's doing now is verging on criminal - If Delia really wanted to help crap/scared cooks, She'd've done a lot better to show simple recipes along with how to prep ingredients.

Not how to open a tin of "product" and stir it into another tin of "product"

Post by **Dr. kitteny berk** » March 19th, 2008, 5:32

Okay then, while ranting about delia, I had an idea...

Why not make a cookbook in the manner of an adventure book?

Rather than just having recipes, go for something more like.

You're in the kitchen, you see:

Code: Select all

Steak >
	Fillet (go to Page 15)
	Rump  (go to Page 17)
	Sirloin (go to Page 18)

Chicken >
	  Breasts (go to Page 35)
	  Whole   (go to Page 37)
	  Drumsticks (go to Page 39)
	  Wings (go to Page 40)

Pork >
	Chops  (go to Page 42)
	Fillet  (go to Page 45)
	Ribs     (go to Page 48)

At the end of your meat page, you get sent back to a veg/salad page.

Code: Select all

You're in the kitchen, you see:

Old Potatoes >
	Mashed (go to Page 65)
	Chips  (go to Page 67)

New Potatoes
	Sauteed (go to Page 68)
	Steamed (go to Page 70)
	Boiled (go to Page 72)

Instead of just saying do xyz to whatever, make sure each item has a recipe, along with how to prepare it suitably.

I'm probably completely fucking crazy, but it seems sensible to me.

thoughts?

Post by **FatherJack** » March 19th, 2008, 6:28

Interesting, I saw a web page once where you selected ingredients you had and it came up with a recipe for them, but it always assumed some basic stuff was always around.

Like eggs: I almost never have eggs unless I plan to use them almost immediately. Owing to sicky experiences* in the past, I'm verging on fanatical about sell-by dates, so I tend to buy fresh stuff and use it straight away with a meal in mind when I buy it.

Perhaps you could follow the adventure, make a virtual meal, then it would give you a shopping list and instructions/timings to print out at the end.

Part of the problem with people lacking confidence in the kitchen is that they don't know what to buy, or what a lot of the stuff in the supermarkets is for, or what you can do with it. Or how cheap it can be.

Take tinned tomatoes:
About 19p for the non-chopped ones - (contents being "tomatoes", the flavoured ones have salt and other crap in). Thirty seconds with an open can and a pair of scissors and you've just saved about 25p over the chopped ones.
Add dried basil (31p) and oregano (39p) and you've got a bolognese/lasagne sauce which added to £1.50 of beef mince will give you a nicer result than the muck Delia scooped out of a can.
Fancy a curry instead - add garam masala (85p) or a spoon of Patak paste (not sauce) (£1.45) to the tomatoes instead.
In both you also get plenty of spare ingredients that will keep to be used again.

Or maybe how to go to the veg market and get lots of very cheap stuff near the end of the day and make a big stir-fry.

Kind of cooking for students**, but not just students: easy, cheap and not massively unhealthy. The Tesco value stuff aimed at the opposite end of the market to Delia's crowd is usually purer in terms of additives, as they cost money to put in - flavour can be added with herbs and spices, as that is what they are for. That's the kind of cooking show that I'd like to see and would truly get the nation cooking.

* Have a few horror stories about this
** I know it's been in the b3ta newsletter - infact I've contributed

Post by **Dr. kitteny berk** » March 19th, 2008, 6:34

all good points and thoughts.

Post by **HereComesPete** » March 19th, 2008, 16:31

I conker. A show that took the mildly brain stunning elements from basic things, a show that upped confidence in a few dishes at a time and a show that showed how easy it is to turn a few things into something tasty. THAT is a show that NEEDS to be made.

FatherJack wrote:*stuff about tomatoes that makes perfect sense*

Or maybe how to go to the veg market and get lots of very cheap stuff near the end of the day and make a big stir-fry.

Very this, some dried herbs and a tin of tomato can produce a wide array of Italian dishes, it just depends on what else goes in. But if Delia approached a tin of tomatos in the same way as FJ does, I wouldn't rant about her programme.

Even better still, the load of veg at the end of the day, that and a bit of meat in a pan for a bit, put a sauce from a jar or sachet on it, enjoy. That's cheating at cooking as far as I'm concerned and it's damn tasty. I'd hate to use the jar of broth that Delia has, it looked wrong, but a jar of curry/chinese sauce/paste makes life easier and doesn't require a lot of time and effort.

Unfortunately the constraints of not saying what it is or where it's from hinders Delia's ability to help kitchen noobs cheat. Her meandering style doesn't help either.

Imo things that would improve her show massively are -

a) the inclusion of recipe sheets - a few seconds of generic names and amounts on the screen, you get to jot down what and how much of and then she cooks it. You don't make precise numbers easier by bypassing them or throwing a few guestimates around, you list them precisely.

b) If a nice prominent link to the bbc iplayer/website to cover it all again.