Shartak - Amusing Anecdotes

Post by **Dr. kitteny berk** » December 18th, 2006, 5:24

got bored of life.

Hut

Inside this hut there are crates of medical supplies stacked up along the walls. Some of the lids are off and the crates have been raided already.

Carved on the wall is some writing. It reads “One of these natives is not like the others, one of these natives is here to kill you.”

Here you can see lacuna, and Tony Almeida (41 of 50 HP).
You can see 20 outsiders.

Since your last move:
Doctor Noel says “Now, I'm not positive, but I'm pretty sure the writing on the wall is a death threat from one of the natives in here.” (2006-12-18 04:37)
Doctor Noel attacks you for 1 damage. (2006-12-18 04:38)

and yeah, i did do that tag

Post by **Dr. kitteny berk** » December 31st, 2006, 2:08

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Jungle

There are several small trees here and some light undergrowth.

Stuck in the ground is a makeshift sign written in a strange language. It reads “Welcome to the jungle, we got fun and games.”

Post by **Grimmie** » December 31st, 2006, 3:32

# Cashtart said "You, boy. What day is it? What day, sir? Why, it's Christmas Day." (22 hours and 45 minutes ago)
# Cashtart revivified you with a NecroTech syringe. (22 hours and 44 minutes ago)

Hurrah!

Woo Elephant Yeah · Post by **Woo Elephant Yeah** » January 2nd, 2007, 8:19

ou can see 1 outsider.
There is 1 body here.

Since your last move:
cashtart says “ALL I WUHTED WAS TO BE LUNED!?!?!” (2007-01-01 23:36)
cashtart says “Thits whar humppethshur wheth you shoorr a pirar mofor! checu yo-selun” (2007-01-01 23:37)
cashtart kills AznWarlord. (2007-01-01 23:37)
cashtart gives you 1 gold coin. (2007-01-01 23:38)
cashtart says “Can you barlunethe the cheeth of somun peoputh? Its not lunke ive baren cumpingger the orrskirar of thiis thiwn for abouh a monthi karluningg everarnuh... morar lunke 2 XD” (2007-01-01 23:40)

cashy · Post by **cashy** » January 2nd, 2007, 11:43

Bloody foreigners... There i was minding my own business, when the cupcake decided to shoot me in the face

Post by **fabyak** » January 2nd, 2007, 14:38

Woo Elephant Yeah wrote:ou can see 1 outsider.
There is 1 body here.

Since your last move:
cashtart says “ALL I WUHTED WAS TO BE LUNED!?!?!” (2007-01-01 23:36)
cashtart says “Thits whar humppethshur wheth you shoorr a pirar mofor! checu yo-selun” (2007-01-01 23:37)
cashtart kills AznWarlord. (2007-01-01 23:37)
cashtart gives you 1 gold coin. (2007-01-01 23:38)
cashtart says “Can you barlunethe the cheeth of somun peoputh? Its not lunke ive baren cumpingger the orrskirar of thiis thiwn for abouh a monthi karluningg everarnuh... morar lunke 2 XD” (2007-01-01 23:40)

WTFAYBOA?

Woo Elephant Yeah · Post by **Woo Elephant Yeah** » January 2nd, 2007, 15:03

Bloody immigrants, coming over here, stealing all our bananas, and you don't even bother to learn the lingo

Stick them all on a pirate ship and sink them out at sea

*this post was brought to you by the Shartak National Party

randomgazz · Post by **randomgazz** » January 2nd, 2007, 21:36

You are inside Caiger Mall
......
Somebody has spraypainted We are sold out of the Nintendo Wii, go away! onto a wall.

cashy · Post by **cashy** » January 2nd, 2007, 23:20

This made me roffle:

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Carved on a nearby tree is some writing in a strange language. It reads “Here lies the eyeless rotting corpse of Cashtart, murderer of 23 Raktamites, 3 dalpokians, and 6 wiksikians. Killed by Gobiemobie. Let's see if he can find his way home without his eyes!”

Since your last move:
gobiemobie says “Outsider die!” (2007-01-02 22:01)
gobiemobie attacks you for 3 damage. (2007-01-02 22:01)
gobiemobie attacks you for 3 damage. (2007-01-02 22:01)
gobiemobie says “Its you you little theif... you should have run when I told you too! Now you DIE!” (2007-01-02 22:02)
gobiemobie attacks you for 1 damage. (2007-01-02 22:02)
gobiemobie attacks you for 1 damage. (2007-01-02 22:02)
gobiemobie attacks you for 3 damage. (2007-01-02 22:02)
gobiemobie attacks you for 3 damage. (2007-01-02 22:02)
gobiemobie attacks you for 3 damage. (2007-01-02 22:03)
gobiemobie attacks you for 3 damage. (2007-01-02 22:03)
gobiemobie attacks you for 3 damage. (2007-01-02 22:03)
gobiemobie attacks you for 3 damage. (2007-01-02 22:03)
gobiemobie attacks you for 3 damage. (2007-01-02 22:03)
gobiemobie attacks you for 3 damage. (2007-01-02 22:03)
gobiemobie attacks you for 3 damage. (2007-01-02 22:03)
gobiemobie attacks you for 3 damage. You die. (2007-01-02 22:03)
gobiemobie says “Dirty outsider filth...” (2007-01-02 22:04)
gobiemobie says “Gobiemobie carves the native characters of the name Raktam in your chest...” (2007-01-02 22:04)
gobiemobie says “He cuts out your eyes and tosses them into the woods... :"Try to find your way home now outsider!"” (2007-01-02 22:05)
gobiemobie says “Gobie mobie carves something on a tree nearby steps on your corpse as he is walking away then spits on your eyeless skull, cursing your ancerstors, and promising to hunt down your relatives.” (2007-01-02 22:07)

I think this means war

Post by **Dog Pants** » January 3rd, 2007, 8:18

I think you upset him. Try offering him an olive branch by helpfully correcting his spelling of thief.

Woo Elephant Yeah · Post by **Woo Elephant Yeah** » January 3rd, 2007, 8:38

Hahaha, GobieMobie apologised to me as he came back to the healing hut, saying no hard feelings, but I think it's safe to say you have the right to teabag on sight.

Erm...... can I also point out this is a Shartak Amusing Anecdotes post, not an Urban Dead one. The Urban Dead one is here http://www.5punk.co.uk/phpbb/viewtopic.php?t=1807

cashy · Post by **cashy** » January 3rd, 2007, 13:34

Heh he had every right to do it, ive completely terrorised that poor village in the last few months

Post by **Roman Totale** » January 10th, 2007, 19:31

WTF?

Nigger

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Description:
A Nigger. With huge lips, shallow forehead, frazzled hair, and baboon-like physique, he pokes around York looking for a KFC or watermelon patch. Watch out, or he'll steal all your electronics!

Woo Elephant Yeah · Post by **Woo Elephant Yeah** » January 11th, 2007, 9:02

I think someone should PM the games creator to withdraw the account and ban the IP. I used to e-mail the Urban Dead bloke but I have never spoken to the Shartak chap

cashy · Post by **cashy** » January 15th, 2007, 22:03

Oh dear.

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Nigger says “All right you racist mothafuckas. Today is Martin Luther King Jr day, the day celebrating the liberation of my people from your white supremacist bondage. I call upon the people of York to recognize t” (2007-01-15 15:54)
Nigger says “that all men are created equal, and to stop this rein of terror against me and my kind, simply because my skin is darker than your’s.” (2007-01-15 15:54)
Nigger says “Either you will treat us as equals of your own volition, or we will rise up in arms, and horse you to recognize that we are NOT your slaves, whom you can abuse however you want. ” (2007-01-15 15:56)
Nigger says “Now, I will go back to my bussiness of healing the sick.” (2007-01-15 16:19)
lacuna says “And calling yourself "Nigger" is the right way of going about making a statement about racism?” (2007-01-15 17:44)
You hear a banshee wail coming from all around you. (2007-01-15 17:48)
You hear a banshee wail coming from all around you. (2007-01-15 17:49)
You hear a banshee wail coming from all around you. (2007-01-15 17:49)
You hear a banshee wail coming from all around you, and lose 4 HP from fear. (2007-01-15 17:49)
You hear a banshee wail coming from all around you. (2007-01-15 17:49)
You hear a banshee wail coming from all around you. (2007-01-15 17:49)
You hear a banshee wail coming from all around you. (2007-01-15 17:49)
You hear a banshee wail coming from all around you. (2007-01-15 17:49)
You hear a banshee wail coming from all around you. (2007-01-15 17:49)
You hear a banshee wail coming from all around you, and lose 4 HP from fear. (2007-01-15 17:49)
dazedandconfused says “Dr Hodo have you thought about joing the Healers of Shartak we could use a medic in this region.” (2007-01-15 18:34)
Che says “Lighten up, Nigger, I killed you the day before MLK Jr. Day” (2007-01-15 19:03)

How many people do i need to attack in this hut before i get killed? :/

Post by **Roman Totale** » January 18th, 2007, 22:39

Berk's manual on how to make friends and influence people pays off:

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docbob says “dont sleep here to many spirits try the free clinic for a spirit free night” (2007-01-18 18:28)
Doctor Noel says “It took thirty-four first-aid kits, but you're all pretty much good as new. Drink some fluids if you're still feeling a little woozy.” (2007-01-18 18:38)
Doctor Noel says “Now someone get me "Here to kill lacuna"'s arse! Cette infestation d'esprits est de la faute de cet arriéré!” (2007-01-18 18:40)
tekknej says “who's "Here to kill lacuna"? come local celebrity?” (2007-01-18 18:49)
tekknej says “where could i find machetes or sharpening stones? i promised one guy to help building a road to fresh water NW and have no tools...” (2007-01-18 18:50)
Edwin says “There are 2 spirits here in need of ejecting...” (2007-01-18 19:16)
Doctor Noel says “He's a local idiot. He's hell-bent on killing the friendly local shaman who normally protects us from hostile spirits.” (2007-01-18 19:32)
tekknej says “heh... funny bastard... i see some people are going crazy on this remote island... okay, off to trader, hope he has some things i need...” (2007-01-18 20:31)

Post by **Dr. kitteny berk** » January 18th, 2007, 22:47

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czech1 fires at you for 5 damage. (2007-01-18 21:39)
czech1 fires at you for 5 damage. (2007-01-18 21:39)
czech1 fires at you for 5 damage. (2007-01-18 21:39)
czech1 fires at you for 5 damage. (2007-01-18 21:39)
czech1 attacks you for 3 damage. (2007-01-18 21:39)
czech1 attacks you for 3 damage. (2007-01-18 21:39)
czech1 attacks you for 3 damage. (2007-01-18 21:39)
czech1 attacks you for 3 damage. (2007-01-18 21:39)
czech1 attacks you for 3 damage. (2007-01-18 21:39)
czech1 attacks you for 3 damage. (2007-01-18 21:39)
czech1 attacks you for 3 damage. (2007-01-18 21:39)
czech1 attacks you for 3 damage. (2007-01-18 21:39)
czech1 attacks you for 3 damage. (2007-01-18 21:39)
czech1 attacks you for 3 damage. (2007-01-18 21:39)
czech1 attacks you for 3 damage. You die. (2007-01-18 21:39)
czech1 says “Don't heal that guy <_<” (2007-01-18 21:40)

*waits at the shaman for the other 50ap to grow back*

Post by **Dr. kitteny berk** » January 18th, 2007, 22:49

Weird.

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You sense that Kahuni wishes you to be patient and ask again later as he is a spirit as well and is trying to return to his body so he can help others.

webclam · Post by **webclam** » January 18th, 2007, 23:24

Dr. kitteny berk wrote:czech1 says “Don't heal that guy <_<” (2007-01-18 21:40)

You made a new friend!

Post by **fabyak** » February 2nd, 2007, 23:21

Edwin says “fabyak, DUDE, I JUST told Heads Hot--I have a hangover! Tone it down!!!” (2007-02-02 22:40)
You let out a banshee wail causing just a little damage.