Blood Bowl: Life in the Leagues

[Joose]

I played Everblue last season. His Chaos are big meanies.

Good news! One of the Chaos teams im up against have dropped out due to the coach vanishing. He has been replaced by much squishier elves. Yes!
Bad news! My first game is up against a Canadanian, and the only times he can do in the week work out as the wee hours of the morning thanks to time zones. No! Hopefully we can manage a weekend game.

[Dog Pants]

Woo! I got two skill ups from the game. A regular Mighty Blow for one of my Tomb Guardians, handy against the next two light teams, and another double for my reserve Thro-Ra, so now he has Dodge and 4ST. He's going to be a real bastard to stop if he can ever pick up the ball (still can't believe he got MVP after his repeat fumbling led to a conceded touchdown).

[Dog Pants]

The hardest game of the season actually turned out to be quite interesting. I was expecting a 4-0 rout, but I put up a reasonable fight. Nullkigan's team were terrifyingly well skilled, and I was very hard pressed to contain them. That I managed to catch his ball carrier out twice, and delayed both touchdowns enough to prevent more is something of a small victory in itself. It's a shame it cost my new +ST Thro-Ra a point of movement, but then it's not like he's any slower than the rest of the team.

Div G: Anupshi Rises (KHE, Dog Pants) 0 - 2 Supernumaries (DElf, Nullkigan)

A violent match was on the cards in Div G today, with the blunt object of Anupshi Rises versus the surgical instrument of Supernumaries. The crowd get the first blows in though, rioting before the game even starts. Once the pitch is clear the Dark Elves continue with the large scale violence, flattening the entire Khemri front line in order to send a lone Witch Elf deep into their defence. As the beating on the line of scrimmage continues a couple of linemen also penetrate, but the ball carrier, hovering well back, is caught off guard by a Blitzing Tomb Guardian who uses his Break Tackle to good effect. The ball comes loose as the carrier fails to hand off, and the Guardian trips and falls harmlessly at his feet. Recovering the ball, the Dark Elves charge it through the shattered Anupshi front line with markers peeling off after lurking defenders. Despite some managing to catch up, the ball carrier saunters on for a mid half touchdown.
The Supernumaries kick short after the teams are reformed, and the ball fails to be recovered by a clumsy Thro-Ra (is there another kind?). A Dark Elf Blitzer snatches the ball away, but is tripped on his escape. This time the Khemri cage the ball before retrieving it, but the half ticks away and ends with Anupshi Rises' new +ST Thro-Ra taking a shattered ankle as compensation for his recent good luck.

The second half starts more skilfully, with the Khemri catching the ball right off and pushing up the left field in a lop-sided cage. As the two teams meet a solid line forms, with curses and moans crossing the no-man's land between. The tension breaks quickly when a Witch Elf is launched off the end of the line and into the crowd, and the 'Dark Elf Air horse' leap en-masse over the Khemri. They can only worry the well defended ball carrier though, who surges forwards into contact with a weakened section of the defensive line. Despite good support, his impetuousness puts him on the wrong end of an Assassin's blade, and the ball ends up among his escort. A confident push by a circling Witch Elf nudges the ball back over to the Supernumaries side of the lines, where it is picked up by a lineman who backpedals deep into friendly territory and away from the ensuing brawl. From the melee a rushing skeleton somehow manages to catch up with him and knock him over. He recovers and quickly passes long to the waiting Witch Elf, well into the Anupshi half. She is quickly supported and while a number of Khemri manage to get back, only one ineffective Tomb Guardian can threaten her. The touchdown looks imminent, but a lightning bolt from the crowd flattens the unfortunate Witch, frying her for the rest of the game. The Dark Elves recover the ball again, but there are now more opponents than friendly around the ball. A brawl ensues on the side-line, with the ball being knocked around as much as the players. It looks as though the only Dark Elf near the ball is about to be sent crowdward to leave the Khemri free to recover it, but when the attacking skeleton manages to only knock himself over the path is opened for a straight pass to a waiting receiver on the touchline, who chalks up a second touchdown for the Supernumaries.
With only seconds left as the teams reform for a quick Anupshi revenge beating before the whistle blows, the Dark Elves catch the Khemri flat-footed and burst into the ill-defended half to catch the ball. Panic ensues among the now-defenders as they scramble to prevent a shock last-second third touchdown. They only manage to get markers to the ball carrier, and a very quick repeat of the last touchdown, to a Dark Elf receiver waiting on the touchline, looks to be on the cards. However, the unlucky thrower fumbles and the whistle blows with the ball sitting at his feet.

[Dog Pants]

Div G: Anupshi Rises (KHE, Dog Pants) 2 - 1 Crunchy Skaven (SKA, Zenohero)

The teams line up on a fine day for the last match of Div G. The imbalance of punchy Khemri vs Rapid Skaven leaves the crowd thirsting for blood and fine dashing plays. But mostly blood. The game begins with the Crunchy Skaven kicking into midfield where Anupshi Rises recover the ball and start to shamble up the pitch. The Skaven are unable to resist, but do slow the advance and cause it to bunch up. As it does a fireball dashes against the cluster of brittle and dry undead, but with little permanent affect. The Khemri play a text-book cage play and slowly grind their way up the pitch, pushing the lighter opponents out of the way like a particularly malodorous snowplough. With attrition taking its toll (although only one rat out for the game) the Anupshi Rises Thro-Ra reaches the touch line with time to spare, so the team hangs about for a little while to beat up the opponent before stepping across to score.

The second half starts promisingly for the Skaven. They receive a short kick from their opponents and use the advantage in speed to hurry a rat right to the touchline in the opening seconds. A couple of back-field skeletons catch the interloper, but failing to observe that the Skaven runner had the Sidestep skill only succeed in pushing him over the line where they meant to send him crowd-surfing.
Having equalised, the Crunchy Skaven return to the field in the knowledge that their opponent now has almost a full half to score again. The nerves show as the kicker drops the ball into the crowd, who give it to a Tomb Guardian for a laugh. The whole Khemri team forms a tight knot around the hulking ball carrier, which proceeds to slowly push a solid line of Skaven down the pitch, leaving a trickle of downed and KOd as it goes. As the crowd begins to get bored of the slow Khemri play, a plucky rat manages to wrestle the overzealous ball carrier to the ground and send the ball free. A scramble ensues, but the sheer volume of undead nearby horses the lighter Skaven off the ball before they can recover it and it is found by the handy Thro-Ra. Throughout the game Nuffle smiled its balck-toothed grimace at the Crunchy Skaven, tripping them more often than they had any right to be tripped, and as a finale bounced the last-rat blitz off the bony ribs of the Thro-Ra to allow an end of half winning touchdown.

Coach Dog Pants knows things are grim. Avoiding relegation depends on overall performance against the last opponent, and Khemri aren't known for finesse. Desperate times call for desperate measures. The Coach calls in his assistant, a Goblin on loan from a backwater team playing out of the Bretonian forests. Putting his hat and coat on the puzzled greenskin he hurries him into the tomb of the Pharaowners and hopes for the best. Luck is on his side, and shortly after he sighs in relief as the goblins screams of protests fall silent. The Coach may now have to paint himself green and wear a false nose, but he lives to fight another day. As he once more addresses his team he thanks his luck that the long-dead Khemri think all the living look the same.

[Joose]

This season has been bloody strange in Division K.

Firstly both Xenny and CPD ended up in K. This is a problem as they are a couple in that horrible place called real life, and Xenny usually uses CPD's computer for BB. So CPD got swapped out with another player. But then Xenny dropped out shortly after the season started (but before any games were played), with CPD taking over her team for this season.

Additionally, there were not quite the right number of teams in the Divisions of Death to make a full four teams per divison. This occasionally happens, and is resolved by having one of the players from higher up make a filler team to patch the space. Usually something squishy and agile, so there is still a bit of challenge but they wont cut a bloody swathe through the newbs. In this case, DoD veteran ntw lead some elvses in to fill the hole.

So that leaves me, Xennys Norse being piloted by a guy who has never played Norse before, a completely new player with a Chaos team and some filler elves.

First game was against the new guy. There was an even spread of decent plays and foolish mistakes between the two of us, and although nuffle seemed in a contrary mood (my one dice blocks were almost all good, my multiple dice blocks had far too much fail in them) neither side really got significantly screwed by the dice. It ended 1-1. I figured that, as my other two opponents were both people who were just playing to fill in the spaces, I had a decent chance of doing well.

Then I played CPD and Xennys Norse. It seems that his complete inexperience with the race hindered him in no way, as he has dominated every game this season, securing Xennys abandoned team the top spot in Div K.

My final game should have been against ntws filler-elves. I was quite looking forward to it, as I havent played a properly squishy team in an age, and I had just purchased the Urist-o-Matic, and wanted to test its motorised rolling pin on something easy to pwn. Unfortunately, ntw has been away for the whole of this last week of the season, despite it having an extension. Unless he magically materialises before thursday it seems like I might get a defaulted win.

Now, here is where things go really strange. If I get a win, that would place me second in the divison. But the first spot in the division is Xennys abandoned team, so I presume they wont go up. Which may result in me going up even though I have only won a game by default, which seems unfair. So maybe giving me a draw result for the game with ntw would make more sense? You might think that, but that makes things even wierder. A draw would still leave Xenny at the top spot, but would give second place to ntws filler team, leaving me and the new guy with two points a piece! I *think* that would still leave me at the top (assuming the team thats leaving and the filler team dont count) as I would be ever so slightly ahead on TD difference.

tl;dr: I think I may have won this season due to admin strangeness. Its an odd feeling.

[TheJockGit]

What happened to the 5punky Cup? Is it still going?

[Dog Pants]

tl;dr: I think I may have won this season due to admin strangeness. Its an odd feeling.

I was promoted in my first season due to admin, despite losing every game. That's Blood Bowl.

Jock, the 5punky Cup is just sat as an open league for ad-hoc games. The competitive Keys Bowl had half a season and fell over. There was some interest in starting another but nobody really committed. I'm always up for a 5punky competition.

[Joose]

I'm always up for a 5punky competition.

This. In a moment of silliness I've invested in Chaos Edition, so I would quite like an opportunity to try out the new teams too. Anyone fancy seeing if the rumours of horrid imbalance are correct?

[Dog Pants]

I'll give you a random game. CE is actually supposed to be very compatible and retains all your LE teams, so it's more of a DLC if you already own a previous edition. I'll still be waiting until it's £2 in a sale though.

[Joose]

I'll give you a random game. CE is actually supposed to be very compatible and retains all your LE teams, so it's more of a DLC if you already own a previous edition. I'll still be waiting until it's £2 in a sale though.

Compatable yes, retains teams no. Not as far as my brief look could tell. Still, I shall prod you for a game. Later tonight?

[Dog Pants]

Yeah, once I get Sprog to bed.

[Dog Pants]

I got an interesting couple of skill-ups from the last game. My star Thro-Ra was pretty much out of useful ball handling skills short of rolling a double, so I took the rarely seen Kick-Off Return. This lets him move up to 3 squares when receiving a kick off before the game starts. Since he's my only guy who's handy on the ball it means I can stick him in the centre of the pitch and stand a good chance of picking up on the first turn. Previously I had to have both Thro-Ras covering the back line in case it landed wide. That means my +ST fighting Thro can go further forward in close support of him, able to pick up the ball if it gets knocked loose.

My second was a double on a rookie skeleton. So many choices, but I went for Guard - usually a Strength skill - so that I can stick him on the front line to assist the Tomb Guardians against Big Guys. Once he gets Block he'll be less of a weak spot between the two hulking line blockers.

[Joose]

Guard is an awesome skill. I've got a handful of dwarves with it now, makes taking them down significantly harder. Just be aware that a solitary guy with guard is a punch magnet, especially on the front line, as it almost always makes sense to lay into him first.

[Dog Pants]

He's an AV7, 3ST Johnny no-skills between a pair of AV9, ST5 blockers. He's going to get punched a lot regardless.

[Joose]

hah, true enough.

[Dog Pants]

Well. I got promoted, by virtue of 13 people dropping out of the leagues. It would appear I survived relegation on injury difference vs the sneaky Skaven, who remain in tier 3. This means I will probably get a battering again.

[Joose]

Ive also gone up, Tier 3 for me. Meep.

[Dog Pants]

Oh dear, I'm back in Div A, the scene of my downfall a couple of seasons ago after the loss of two TGs. This time I'm drawn against Cheese It, a Skaven team on a fairly even footing I think, Rock Paper Sneaky Git, an orc theam which predates my team by a number of seasons, and Death Vengeance of Doom, another veteran team in Lizard flavour. I hate playing against lizards.

Joose, meanwhile, has drawn the Human Codsbottom Brawlers, Wood Elf Soviet Kazakh Chairmen, and Halfling Tuftybushe Fruitcakes. That's not a bad set for a dwarf team, but the Wood Elves might case trouble if he can't smash them up.

[Joose]

Squishies! The dwarves rejoice!

[Joose]

The WElves in my div have dropped out, and been replaced with Gobbos. MWUHAHAHA!